Different primary schools for siblings!

[sunnyday123]

Hi

Just spoke to LEA and have been warned that DD2 is very very unlikely to get into DD1 RC primary school (she is in Year 1).

We are out of parish so understandably no sibling priority :(

Moving dd1 is not an option as she is settled with many friends, my intention is to hopefully get dd2 in at Y3 when class size rules relax

In the meantime can anyone reassure me of any benefits of separate schools, what the effect on their relationship would be (very close), how you deal with pick ups etc so i am fully prepared next month when it becomes official!

Thanks

I have no practical advice, but speaking as a DD2 who spent her whole school career being "DD1's sister", I think it could actually be beneficial to DD2 to spend the first few years of school (when she'll be really developing as a person in her likes/dislikes and interaction with others) where she won't be known "through" her sister, if that makes sense.

Again, if they are very close, it might be nice for them to have some space. Apparently my DSis spent the first week I was in primary school crying because she wanted me to play with her and I wouldn't because I wanted to play with my new friends.

I loved being at school with my DSis, and I hope for you that everything works out, but don't be despondent if it doesn't because there were plenty of occasions when I used to wish that I was an only child just so that for once I wouldn't be known purely as X's sister.

thanks PastGrace

I agree this may be a good thing. Currently dd1's friends all fuss over dd2 when they see her socially as she is very bubbly and confident. DD1 is very sensitive and much more shy than dd2 so keeping dd2 away from dd1s friends will be good in the short term.

I know it sounds daft but i worry they'll have little in common without shared friends or school experiences?

I don't think it sounds daft at all. Try not to think of it as taking away shared friends but as adding in extra friends. If each DD has her own circle of friends and both circles include the other DD from having them round to play/birthday parties (iyswim) then each one has really got double the friends.

There must be lots of parents on here with more practical advice - maybe they'll be along in a bit.

HI sunny sorry to hear that things aren't looking very good for the same primary.

I think what grace says is very interesting, particularly with your acknowledgement that dd2 may 'trespass' on dd1's friends.

I know that you posted on a thread I wrote previously re out of catchment and so I may find myself in your position in a few years.

If it is of any comfort my DS current comes home from pre-school and the first thing he always asks when he comes out is where's DD name. So despite the fact they are apart for a lot of the day she is always first in his mind.

Will your daughters do anything such as brownies/gym club etc together?

Do both their schools finish at the same time? Just wondered if there is a friends mum of DD1 who might hang around a little/walk her part way home so that you can manage it all?

They currently go dancing together and have swimming lessons around the same time. DD1 is in rainbows and dd2 has her name down but since its connected to the school, not sure she will get in if not in the school. I am going to check this later.

Yes they both finish and start at the same time! I expect to use wrap around care - i have plenty of people who could 'hold on' to dd1 whilst i take dd2 but tbh i would feel better dropping them off myself as i dont want to put people out plus i would feel like i actually took her to school if i used breakfast club etc.

Not sure of practicalities as such - waiting to see if school will discount wrap around care given i dont currently use it and only need it for 10-15 mins!

What is your situation then if similar? Nightmare worry isnt it!

I think the wrap around care sounds a good idea, as you say it will mean you are doing both pick ups/drop offs and will also be independent of others.

It is good that they have some shared interests, lets hope that dd2 can also go to rainbows with dd1.

My situation is that my ds is due to start in September and so I am waiting to see which school he has got into. Our 1st choice is a faith school that is out of catchment where ds currently attends the pre-school and although previously all applicants have got in last year was the first year that some didn't. However those that didn't were not faith applicants, and we will be.

But in the back of my mind I thought about you (as I said upthread I am sure I remember you posting on a previous thread - won't dd2 possibly go to the 'blue' school?) and about my dd who is not due to start for a few years. I spoke to the vicar about our concerns as at the last minute nearly backed out of applying to our 1st choice and he didn't seem to think it was a problem. However, since then I now and again have these panics about ds getting in there and then dd ending up elsewhere. I even spoke to the LEA about2/3 weeks ago to see if I could change my choices (incidentally they said I could and that it wouldn't result in us being treated as late applicants but I then decided it wasn't worth the risk and to wait and see how I felt once the places had been allocated!).

Have your LEA given any indication as to if your dd2 doesn't get into dd1's school how far she will be down the list? (i.e. are they expecting it to be massively or slightly oversubscribed).

hi, so yes you are in a very similar situation but hopefully your school wont be as oversubscribed - the RC school in the next town to be always gets to criteria 7 (non catholics) even when oversubscribed so you may be okay!

Our criteria is:

1- RC in care
2 - RC in parish selected by distance
3- Non parish RC siblings
4- RC out of parish no siblings
5- Non catholics in care
etc etc

When we initially applied the school has always got to criteria 4 which is out of parish RC children even when oversubscribed. On dd1s year in 2010 we were criteria 4 - the school had a very low intake and all children got a place.

Last year 2011 there was a massive intake and filled on criteria 2 and so even some parish catholics with siblings didnt get in! The LEA said it is looking "marginly" worse which is why they have warned me (with a sibling we are criteria 3).

Not sure how far down i will be as list in process of being ranked. I expect about 7 siblings to be affected on the basis of people i know - i should be fairly high on the list as some are further than me or not catholic but last year there was no movement at all. It is the only RC school in area so people dont generally change their mind. I do expect many families to take the older child out of school though to keep the kids together (this is what majority did last year) so that will hopefully help me move further up the list as we will do 2 schools.

I cant take dd1 (even if i wanted to) out as she will be going into year 2 and most of the good schools have 30 per class in year 2 and so not worth taking her out to put her in rubbish school! Plus dd2 could get in before that if someone leaves mid year etc.

I hope its good news for you! Good luck :)