Fidgety/silly 7 yr old

[KTk9]

This isn't something that has just started - I have noticed it before and just thought she would grow out of it, but today dd was at a tennis lesson and I particularly noticed how different she was from the other children, some of which were well over a year younger than her.

Basically, while the teacher was going through things, she was jumping around, spinning, swishing her racquet and generally not listening. When they were paired up, one had to throw the ball to the other to hit, she was throwing in a silly way that no one would have been able to hit it! The other girl who was 6, kept asking her to throw it properly and eventually the teacher noticed and stepped in.

It appeared to me, that she had to move, she couldn't stand and hit the ball like the others, she had to spin, or fall to the floor etc. etc. She had been doing tennis since last summer, although we had a break during the winter, and has always been a bit like this. Eventually, it got me really cross watching it and I called her over, had a word and she did improve, to the point one of the parents next to me commented on how well she could hit the ball! - I think she was surprised that she could actually do it, but she was still manic!

I have noticed at swimming too, the other children are holding onto the side listening and she is dipping her head under the water, trying to float and doing anything but paying attention!

She hasn't long moved schools and seems to be doing really well, the teacher hasn't said she is the same at school - I would be mortified if she is, as I hate to say it, I actually felt a bit embarrassed about her behaviour today, but we have a parents evening soon so no doubt will find out more.

Has anyone any experience of this? or any ideas what I can do to try and help her just be a bit calmer? I found it really hard to watch her stand out like this.

Thanks for taking the time to read it all!

My dd is also 7 and can be a bit of a fidget like this. She does find it hard to stay still, although she doesn't do it in class . I think she gets over excited sometimes, other times I wonder if its slightly anxiety surfacing as she's a very sensitive and anxiety prone child. I notice a lot of the boys her age are much more like that though, its the girls who look calmer, so its not too out of the ordinary.

Everyone whose child has ADHD and various other related SEN has experience of this.

How is she doing academically?

I have found that school don't report behaviour like this to you, unless you specifically ask.

Nor do they even think it's a problem.

I would be inclined to consider DCD/Dyspraxia if a child in my class displayed similar behaviour before ADHD unless there were other concerns you haven't mentioned. Does she have any sensitivity to touch, taste, noise or lights ?

yes, my 2 boys who can't sit still both have DCD not ADHD.

They also can't sit properly. They never sit in a chair how you're meant to.

My DS (6 in year 2) is the same, we just assumed it was normal and him being an active, imaginative boy but now his teacher has taken us aside and said he is fidgeting at school and it is clearly an issue for her so we are having to accept it's a problem.

Academically he is doing well so they aren't too worried (I find this contradiction very hard to get my head around) but there is clearly a problem which I am determined to correct or at least improve before he hits juniors next year and really struggles with the more formal way of learning. Indigobell and mrz are fantastic at helping with these sorts of problems so it's great they are on your thread, if you search on here a month or so ago I was asking exactly the same things as you

Helping with being calmer...well we have improved DS's diet and upped his fish oils and supplements, I am taking him to kung fu (like your DD, he is the one always spinning around at the back but the whole ethos of it is for self-discipline and he is responding well to it, the teacher knows of his fidgeting at school and is good with him). In two weeks we go to Tinsley House (again search on here!) It seems to be working but he is still fidgety!

and I agree with Indigo teachers often see it as bad behaviour rather than a real problem that needs further investigation.

I think that was the implication with our teacher mrz. They didn't seem to want to do anything themselves but she had taken me aside and asked me to provide a wobble cushion so clearly she thought I should sort it out and that I can do something about his behaviour in school. I'm very glad she did tell me now.

OP have you spoken to her teacher, asked if she is like this at school? Teacher may have all sorts of strategies in place already or like mrz says have just assumed it is bad behaviour. Your DD may not be like it in school.

Thankyou for all the replies. I haven't spoken to the teacher yet, she moved school in sept. so has been settling in. I will ask about it at parents evening next week.

Her school work seems ok, but again she has just moved schools and has had a bit of catching up to do. Her reading is excellent although she did do a reading recovery scheme in yr. 1 as she was a little behind, now she is one of three on the class on the highest band. Her maths was ok at her old school, but the new one has been doing a bit of extra work, as they work a bit further ahead, but she does her hw independently and seems to have no obvious problems.

I do know her spellings are poor, but she never had any at her old school where everything was phonetic! It is a bad habit to get out of, but if she thinks she gets the ones right she has learnt if you see what I mean.

We moved her because the large class she was in was very disruptive with a lot of bad behaviour going on and she really hated all the noise!!! Reading this through, perhaps this is indicating a problem!?

I am worried now. Apart from the teacher giving any feedback which the may not as she has not long been there, is there anyway to find out If she does have any of these issues? Is there testing that can be done?

My niece has dyspraxia and my oh cousins son had ADHD, I know how that goes and she doesn't appear similar to me.

I'm afraid no two children with either disorder will be the same that isn't a reliable way to assess. I'm not suggesting she has either condition but don't dismiss the possibility

Don't get worried - but do get proactive.

1. Google dyspraxia symptoms and see if you think she may have it.

1. Discuss her behaviour with her teacher. Ask really specific questions:

- does she sit sill in class - does she sit on her chair properly - does she seem immature - does she have friends - how is she in PE - how are her fine motor skills - does she ever find the class of noisy

Etc, etc.

Then you'll be able to decide if you want to take it further or not.

There's heaps you can do, so no need to worry. Even taking vitamins can make a huge difference. But first you have to decide how much of a problem you think there is.

In some ways it's easier once you know there's a problem - because then you can research how to help.

Also remember the teacher is not an expert in SEN. She is no more qualified to diagnose than you are. So just focus on symptoms.

Thank you everyone.

I have had a look at some of the symptoms on various sites and the only ones I can say that I know about are she is fidgity and does tend to have lots of bumps at school! (only today I had another 'head' bump notice).

Good questions to ask Indigo and parents evening is next week, I am not going to raise it before then, but I have made a note of them.

From first glance, I know she doesn't always sit on chairs properly at home, however, she is quite mature for her age (only child/older parents), has lots of friends - in fact is very popular. Not sure about PE, has only just started doing it regularly, they didn't do much at her old school, but she skis like a demon and can rollerskate without too much problem! her writing is a bit messy, having said that, today she produced a beautiful piece of joined up handwriting for homework - copying. She can use sicssors well and likes intricate painting by numbers, so no real motor skills problems - enjoys lego and able to do it easily and can tie her laces. She used to find the class noisy, but is in a smaller one now, which is a lot quieter and wellbehaved!!!

I do believe she has some tendencys towards what I have been reading, maybe at the lower end, but it wouldn't surprise me if her teacher didn't say something, I know she is having help with her maths and today she told me that her and three others have got 'special' books that they can write in to practice their handwriting (her new school do joined up writing, which she has never done before, but is working really hard on).

Tinsley House looks really interesting, but can I just ask about the fish oils. I used to give her IQ liquid - in her smoothies, but she has started noticing it and doesn't like it. Does anyone have a way of getting Omega 3 into their child that they like?!

Do talk to your dd about it. I did when got swimming report, like your dd - always floating, going under water at inappropriate times, not listening. Spoke to dd, turns out she was cold + just trying to keep warm. She agreed with her teacher she could jump around to keep warm, but not go under water. She might just be cold at swimming and bored at tennis. I had the advantage though of knowing she wasn't like it at school. You really need to find out how extensive the issue is before deciding is something to be concerned about.

I put 5ml of eyeQ in his weetabix mixed in which he doesn't notice and 5-10 ml (we are in the loading dose period) on a spoon which he hates but he takes it with some juice to wash it down and his vitamin afterwards.

There is a guy that does retained reflex therapy in SW London with brushing techniques, I forget his name but his website has good info on the symptoms of retained reflexes which made me pursue treatment for DS (although at TH instead!!)