Prep school has offered a place for DD but not DS

[PhoebeBurbabee]

We applied for a place for DD (5) for year 1 in sept 2012 at a co-ed private primary in London. She was assessed and got a place. They gave us a week to accept and pay £3000 which we did as they assured both myself and DH that this would mean DS age 3 - for pre-reception - would be classed as a sibling and so get a place after his assessment.

Roll on a few weeks after DS's assesment and we get a letter saying DS does not have a place!! What should we do? There is no way we would take DD out of her present school (lovely school but only takes boys up to 7) if DS cant go too as he was the main reason we applied to the new school. We also have another DS 10 months and we'd like them all in the same place.

I feel like we were misled big time. I really believed the admissions sec and the headmistress when they said they had never known a sibling not get a place. They knew we really wanted them to be at the same school.

I am worried they will refuse to refund the money. DH wants to go there tomorrow to speak to the head face to face. Is that a good idea?

Any opinions gratefully received.

Do you have it in writing that your DS should get a place as a sibling? If so, definitely challenge it. If not, I don't suppose you've got much of a case, but you could appeal to their better nature.

No we don't have it in writing. Im sure you are right we dont have much of a case and the small print says non-refundable. They seemed like nice people though so fingers crossed. Thank you.

Surely he will still be near the top of the waiting list and it is entirely possible there will be movement once LA allocations for next year are known. I've also known a degree of flexibility in numbers when it comes to accommodating siblings. Does he really need to go there before Reception anyway ? Sit tight and review after Easter, as long as you can still give a full term's notice you should see most of the deposit back.

No he doesn't need to go there before reception really, but they said there are even less places available for reception. He is on the waiting list though and perhaps they will accommodate him - but its not really the way to make a family feel welcome and its made me wonder if its the right place. We def need to notify our present school on the first day of the summer term if we are leaving though so it all needs to happen by then.

Just because you don't have something in writing doesn't mean you don't have a case - although evidentially it may be more difficult to prove. If they told you before you paid the £3k that your DS would get a place because your DD had one, then that's misrepresentation if the statement wasn't true (which it clearly wasnt). If you now dont want either child to go I suggest that you let them know they refund the £3k or you sue them for misrep. It's what I'd do, cheeky sods

No Coconutty the reason stated was too many applicants. As far as we are aware he doesnt have SEN and even after the assesment the teachers commented on how it had gone well. Will know tomorrow after speaking to them thank you.

did they actually say he would get a place or did they just saty tthat they had never known a sibling not get a place?

do siblings get priority or not? if so are they saying that they have more siblings applying for places than they have places?

Thats how I feel sugartongue - that its really cheeky! They absolutely told me on the phone that he would get a place and really pressured us to bring the cheque in! We will not move one child without the other. DH is going to say he is happy to talk to a lawyer straightaway. Hopefully the idea of bad publicity will be enough.

Siblings do get priority provided they dont have any SEN. They said the assesment for 3 yr olds is really to check this. They are over subscribed - there are 5 parallel classed of 20.

You know I think they didnt say he would get a place - they said they had never known a sibling not get a place..and the head is new. it seems they didnt have enought space for him at all.

so if siblings get priority then they are saying that there are so many siblings needing places that not all will get one? that seems well, unlikely, doesn't it?
unless it's a very tiny intake (am thinking of reception here)

curious business decision on their part.

DC's school would hire another TA / generally reshuffle / whatever was needed to accomodate siblings rather than lose the business of a whole family.

Talk to them, re-iterate that it is an "all or nothing" deal and always was, and see how they respond. TBH if they are shitty about it then you wouldn't want your DC there anyway. Start again and find a school which could take, and would work, for them both - if it takes another year it doesn't really make any difference.

We will go there in the morning. I am very cross. I can feel the anger bubbling in my chest! Must try to calm down and do the baths. It was great to hear from other people thank you.

I guess theres a tiny chance stealthsquiggle that they forgot he was a sibling, but seems unlikely - the problem is in our area of North london there are very few coed schools. Will post back tomorrow.

Private schools can pretty much do what they hell they like. Welcome to their world.

I doubt they forgot, in all honesty, but if you like the school you could pretend to believe that they did. Anyway "We think there must be some mistake - we did make it clear that we needed places for both DC or for neither" is as good an approach as any to go in with. They need to understand that you mean it - and IIWY I would be kicking up a major noisy fuss if they don't give DS a place and don't give you DD's deposit back. Not that you have a leg to stand on, legally, but even London school trade on their reputations, especially nowadays, and this wouldn't sound good to prospective parents.

I like the stealthsquig. suggestion - confident and "clearly there has been some mistake". THey have a sibling policy, it should apply unless they can point to some SEN or similar which means the school in unsuitable for him. Are all the other accepted children previously registered sibilings - surely this is the only basis on which there could be deemed to be no room, unless you came along outside the normal timing such that the places were already given away. But in which case they misled you even more.
Really poor.

This thread has really worried me, DS2 is in the pre-school department of a small private school due to start YR September, DS1 is in state infant school as his year has been full since before YR with no leavers in the boys class so far. They increase the class from 16 to 18 at Juniors so have said he can start at the latest then.

This hasn't formally been confirmed in writing so I am now panicking so have e-mailed them to check he is definitely in!

I am shocked that a school would do such a thing, a £3000 deposit seems outrageous also, we had to pay £200, thats all they charge for any age I believe. I am very interested to hear how you get on with the school!!!

Ooo Phoebe which school is it? Was your daughter at a school beginning with C before?
I know that the co-ed H doesn't take siblings. I think they look at them preferentially but I do know of a family where the second wasn't taken, in part because they'd found the elder child tricky but not so tricky that they could actually get out directly.
London privates are brutal aren't they? We'll take your money and the sibling so long as there aren't any special needs, no we don't want those. Not that your child does have SEN from what they've said so it points to either incompetence or some other reason they're not telling you. Neither fills you with confidence.

Does it actually have a sibling policy in writing? This is the wording from e.g. Forest, which has a reputation for taking siblings but you can see that they're careful not to commit.
The application from (a) sibling(s) of (a) current pupil(s) will be viewed sympathetically, but a sibling must win a place at the School on the same basis as any other applicant.

Am also shocked by this... if siblings get priority then what is the point of assessing them - and probably paying for that priviledge too?

Hello! The school has just admitted it was an admin mistake!...Bit of an oversight no?
The admissions department sent out a few letters in error and they are really sorry and were drafting a letter of apology (not ringing us mind, we called them) . I am sorry to have started the thread and got you all on board but I really appreciate your comments and helpful suggestions. Unfortunately I am not filled with confidence now about them but it makes so much sense for us to move the kids there.

Polly do I know you? Because yes current school does begin with that letter and we love it there.