Would any of this bother you?

[LingDiLong]

My DC school is currently being slagged off on Facebook by one of the mums who has a child in the same Reception class as my DS. Her complaints are that he comes home with wet trousers because he's been jumping in puddles (she feels the teachers should stop the kids jumping in them), the kids don't have their coats on at playtime (even when really cold, she feels teachers should make them), he comes home with other kids clothes on sometimes and has lost a hat. She's really raging about it all too rather than just a bit narked. All of this seems like standard infant school stuff to me which wouldn't bother me a bit. She's also upset that he came home with an unexplained injury that the teachers hadn't noticed - I admit this would be something I'd be asking the teachers about but again, I wouldn't be fuming about it.

So do I have ridiculously low expectations or is she unrealistic in her expectations of your average British primary school?

She's a bit bonkers

Reception class at DDs school all keep wellies at school (part of uniform requirements) for puddle jumping. Puddle jumping is fun, and no adult on earth can prevent a child from making a bee-line to a tempting puddle.

Losing clothes at school seems to be pretty normal and to be expected.

The unexplained injury is a little odd. A bruise or scraped knees are fair enough (children can fall over and then carry on playing without needing to tell a teacher about every bump), but if it was a visible injury then she should raise it with the teacher.

She does sound a little excitable (?). None of it sounds worthy of a vendetta against the school. What is she wanting them to do differently? And wouldn't it be more effective to talk to the school instead of raging on FB?

She's asking far too much. Is this her first child?

MyCat, thank you. I knew one of us must be bonkers and I'm pleased to have it confirmed that it's not me :-]

Piprabbit, she is ranting that she'll be straight down the school having words with them. Makes me glad I'm not a teacher!

Lady, first and only child. I wondered if it was a touch of the PFBs.

Sounds very much PFB. Poor child, sounds as though he's stuck!

Stop reading her facesuck page.

She's bonkers.

You watch, Ling, mark my words. She'll end up slagging off the other parents soon, too. I know of someone (a parent) who got hounded out of a school for that lunacy; people were literally queuing up to say their piece to her face.

If she starts getting too specific eg teacher's name/ slagging off school in detail she could be done for slander/ libel I think. Very foolish of her - don't respond in any way.

Learnandsay, that is a good point and I may yet have to hide her!!

I haven't responded because I think you're right Ragged and I don't want to get sucked into it. Plus she's a bit scary.

Give her a wide birth in the playground.

LingDiLong:

I don't know all the in's and outs but...

Sending a 4 year old out to play for 30 minutes or more on a cold winter day without a coat - that seems weird to me.

Not reporting a major injury (or fairly minor ones) - this happens a lot at our school, but at first seemed very weird after a very efficient nursery who reported even the most minor of bruises, how long DDs napped each day and whether they ate all their lunch, snack, etc...

Having a 4 year old sit in wet clothes all day rather than change is odd. 1) If they have forest school - there should be wellies and waterproofs at school for puddle jumping. So there seems little need to get soaking wet (at least in the winter) 2) if they have PE there should be a change of clothes, which allows the teachers to put soaked clothing on a radiator to dry.

I don't know that I'd resort to facebook - but if this woman's child is nearer 4 than 5 then I can see why she might be angry. If she's approached the teacher and had short-shrift about her 'issues' with all this - then again I can see why she resorted to facebook.

If every other parent at the school is perfectly happy for no bump notes to come home (which by the way are required by law) and for children to sit in soaking clothes all day or play without coats all winter - including you - then fine. But if in fact some of this is a bit odd (which from where I'm sitting - it does seem slightly weird) - then perhaps she has a point. And perhaps a few friends right now and a bit of support might help her handle it more constructively.

I have my axes to grind - but do not underestimate how appalling rude and patronising teacher's can be to parents when they want to, especially when that parent is questioning the teacher's decisions/ tuition/ professionalism. (apologies to all those teachers out there who are impeccable in their behaviour - but I hope you understand that not everybody is as professional as you).

Facebook is surely not the place to slag off schools and teachers though? I am not on Facebook myself so maybe it is just a free for all..
As I said before- maybe legal implications if she goes too far on Facebook?

Thanks Past, always good to get a different perspective.

I think what drove me to post this thread was she does have a fair few friends agreeing with her that it's 'disgusting' and 'shocking' that kids play out without coats. If anything this is whipping it all up into a frenzy rather than helping her be a bit more constructive. Bear in mind too that here in Wales the temperature has only dropped below 0 a couple of times, it's been exceptionally mild this Winter, we've had none of the snow the rest of the country has had. I think I'd be more worried about the coat issue if it were last year.

I'd also be very surprosed if she's had short shrift from the teachers or if they've been rude. They're very, very approachable whenever I've spoken to them about (usually very minor) issues. She also posted an update about the injury admitting that the teacher was very apologetic and was able to explain how it happened. Not that this has stopped her ranting and calling the teachers 'stupid'.

Oh and no 'Forest School' here, the puddles she's talking about are your standard school yard after the rain kind, rather than going out in a downpour or traipsing around the school field. She says herself he was wet round the ankles rather than soaking wet.

I'm not trying to say the school is perfect, I have a few issues myself, but I just couldn't understand getting so worked up about your kids trousers being a bit wet/lack of a coat at break.

The coat thing would yes. Unexplained injuries, depends. I saw a huge bruise on ds's back earlier which panicked me, then realised it was mud! Bruises on knees etc, no.

If it was junior school I'd say SIBU, but reception, I'd expect them to be closely supervised enough that most of those things don't happen.

In my DC's reception class they weren't allowed out without a coat/sunhat as appropriate, wellies were kept in school to be used as necessary and any injury that required rubbing better treatment got a note sent home. Of course if the child made no fuss at the time that wouldn't be the case.

Lost property should turn up if she's named it.

She is BVU though to be slating the school on FB

If it was junior school I'd say SIBU, but reception, I'd expect them to be closely supervised enough that most of those things don't happen.

In my DC's reception class they weren't allowed out without a coat/sunhat as appropriate, wellies were kept in school to be used as necessary and any injury that required rubbing better treatment got a note sent home. Of course if the child made no fuss at the time that wouldn't be the case.

Lost property should turn up if she's named it.

She is BVU though to be slating the school on FB

She should change schools. There are plenty of boring schools around that dont allow kids to play and have fun

I would also let the school know about the comments. It is inappropriate to publicly slander schools and teachers

Oh dear - I'm a reception teacher - that could be me!

We are never going to stop children jumping in puddles (it's fun), so we ask the parents to provide wellies and waterproof trousers. Some parents don't bother. Some children do not respect boundaries they are given. Parents are asked to provide a spare set of clothes in case they get wet or have a toilet accident. The majority don't bother. So if clothes get wet, we do send them home in spares, but some parents don't bring them back to school - so sometimes there aren't any spare sets, so in that case, we put the children in their PE kits. Of course, despite it being part of the uniform, not all parents supply PE kits ...

We ask parents to label all clothes. Not all of them bother. The parents who complain the most about lost clothes are the ones who do not label things.

We ask parents to teach their children to get dressed and undressed so the children can be independent for PE. Some of them don't bother so their children do get in a bit of a muddle with clothes. Some children expect to have adults running around after them picking up clothes they have flug in the corners of the classroom.

Children always come outdoors with coats on, but in appropriate weather, we do let them take them off if they say they feel hot (they know how they feel).

Some children don't tell an adult about accidents. Staff:child ratios are very different at school than at nursery - particularly at lunch time play.

Just a school's side of things ...

RiversideMum - I think you've made a great suggestion - I've always sent in spare clothes and told teachers to just ring if needs be (my DD1 suffers very bad bloody noses at times) - I work nearby to the school and can usually swiftly pick up a change of clothes a drop them to the school within 30 minutes or so.

I think the coat thing depends on the weather. A school yard (with black asphalt) in full sun, even on a winter's day, can be quite warm, especially if you're racing around.

LingdiLong - I think as she's got some support hopefully other Mum's/ Dad's can guide her to better understanding of how things are at the school (and why) and perhaps if there is a problem a workable suggestion for improvement.

HTH