dd - yr 2 - glandular fever & school attendance - what would you do?

[roundabout1]

dd1 is 6 & in yr 2. since beg jan she has been unwell, two bouts of tonsillitis, permenant cold & very pale, tired & lethargic & not eating much. GP last wk reckoned she's got glandular fever, he didn't want to do blood test to confirm as dd hates blood & gets very upset. She's not done a full week at school all term, has done on average 3 days a week as she will be ok for a couple of days & then quite poorly again. This week the school have agreed for her to do mornings only which is working out really well, sometimes she's spending the afternoon tucked up in bed, sometimes she's a bit brighter & playing a bit. I don't know what to do regarding next week, whether to push for another week of mornings or not. I know there is no way she will manage a full week at school but know that dd is really enjoying doing just mornings!

I think first of all I would want to know what was wrong with my DD, is there no way you can persuade her to have the tests? Mega bribe time?

Secondly, if she can manage mornings I would still go for that and let her rest. If she was running around all afternoon that would be different.

Thanks, well she's stomping around being mega stroppy at the moment but that normally happens when she's tired & feeling crappy & then it all goes downhill from there. To an outsider I think she probably looks fine a lot of the time! The gp said he didn't do blood tests for young children unless he felt there was a real concern & although he thinks it probably is gf a blood test wouldn't change anything as they couldn't treat it. I was happy with that as dd would hate the blood tests anyway. School are happy to treat it as if it is gf without being confirmed. I personally would prefer to know for sure as I think I would be more confident about how much time off school for her to have. Think dd's teacher may think she's skiving a bit. I would have thought that half days was less disruptive all round than odd days here 7 there.

I too think if you can get a blood test then at least you can be sure about glandular fever etc. Numbing cream before needle? Bribery? Emphasizing blood test is hopefully going to give clues on how to get her better?
If glandular fever she is going to be run down for a while but should gradually get better. She could of course just be very run down.

I would get the blood test, because to be honest it would be reassuring to me to have a firm diagnosis.
But in year 2 if you keep her reading when she is well enough and do some number stuff, it probably doesn't matter too much how much time she has off school (I had pretty much constant tonsillitis for 1 year, so had a lot of absence, and did pretty well long term).

If school is happy to treat it as that, at least that is helpful. I would certainly let her do mornings for another week, then maybe 1 or 2 full days after that.

Being fine at home, or in small sessions is different from managing full time.

When DD had been ill for a bit, I found it helpful to bring her home for lunch for a week to give her an hour of rest. Also could judge how she was for the afternoon.

Just to add, I would still want the blood test as well.

Just a word of caution about the the blood test for glandular fever, it is not that reliable. It can often give false negatives. My friends DS had several negative tests for glandular fever before he got a positive one after about 3 months.

My son has had glandular fever twice, both for long periods of time. The blood tests are very unreliable as it is very hard to find and can sort of 'hide' so you get a negative reading but you have got it.

Thanks everyone
Good idea doing half days & then a few full days. I'm probably getting a bit stressed about it because need to speak to school about it & I find dd's teacher quite scary - I know I'm a bit pathetic! The head is fine though not scary at all!

bruffin - Thanks someone else has told me that too. Does make you wonder if there's any point in going through it all. GP is going to reassess in 5 weeks time to check her weight & everything else & then will do bloods if he feels necessary to rule out other things too.

Well I am a bit fed up now to be honest. DD did half days last week & on fri afternoon was doubled up in pain in her ear. Got her an emergency appointment & she has an ear infection. She's not too bad in herself but this alongside all the other problems means she's feeling unwell although bright enough if that makes sense. Dh took her to school this morning, spoke to the head & explained about the ear. We've been given the ok to do half days & then on wed do full days but miss PE & see how we go. The head says that if she's still struggling next week he'll need something from the GP. Which leads me on to the real annoyance is that at the doctors on fri we saw the nurse practicioner, I explained the situation & history & she read through the notes on the screen & immediately started asking about school & if she had the ear pain when at school. Dd said she didn't & the nurse went through the checks & was really surprised when dd's ear was inflammed. Why?? Now I'm a bit paranoid that their notes say about dd being unhappy at school. As at the original gp appointment he asked about school & dd started saying about spelling tests & how she hates them. But she doesn't worry over them, she's not worried this year over anything except missing stuff when she's been ill. Excuse the rant!

As someone who's had Glandular Fever 3 times. I'd be back at the GP for a line. I did school when I could manage and a boy in the year above brought me any work I missed home and I did as I could manage. At college I had 2 full weeks off and a friend got all my notes and I kept up as much as I could and managed to pass unlike others!

Thank you - wow having it 3 times, that's bad luck. Yes I think we'll go back to the gp, it's all a bit frustrating. Dd2 has been up all night being sick so thta's something else dd1 will probably get, as if she hasn't enough things wrong with her as it is!

OP- i have a young relative who had GF, and went on to develop ME, because he continued to drag himself to school.

GP needs to do blood test- tell them you have changed your mind, you want to know if she has it.

with regards to school- the advice we had (and it was consultant level) was to do a small, acheivable amount for 3 week blocks. So, if you think she can do half days, do this for 3 weeks, then let her stay for lunch, then till the end of the day in blocks.

good luck- sounds like you are going through the mill at the mo.

My DS had GF a couple of years ago, he had 2 weeks off school and I don't think he did a full week all that term. Looking back it probably took a year until he was well again and during that year he caught everything going - numerous bouts of tonsilitis, gastroenteritis and flu, he hadn't had a day off school for 3 years but he made up for it in year 4!!

The doctors did do a blood test, which went very badly he fainted and vomited, it has left him with a needle phobia which could have been avoided.

There doesn't seem to be much you can do except take it easy and accept that she will be off school more than she should for a while, as others have said work out a way for her to keep up with the school work while resting in bed. I spent a fortune on vitamins, special diets etc and the only thing I found which had a significant positive effect on his health (and brought some colour back to his cheeks) was Natures Plus Animal Parade Shake, he still has it every day now.

Poor thing it really does knock them for six for a very long time.

I had it at 12, 16 and 18. My GP suspects it may have been the trigger for my Fibromyalgia. I often get swollen glands when tired and needing complete rest. It can take months to recover.

Well I'm feeling really fed up now. Dd has had a better week this week, has a bit of colour but still exhausted. We had parents evening the other night & dd's teacher asked if she could get some clarification on what to do regarding pe etc & asked if calpol would help, if we got a prescription from gp dd could take it to school & they could give it her. Just back from gp's & feel well & truely fobbed off. He reckons more likely to be post viral fatigue thing going on but that stress is probably playing a part too. Now that I don't have a problem with as such, and think dd has been worrying about school as she's missed so much but she's completely exhausted & wiped out at times. He did check her over but her glands weren't up, no temperature & everything else normal. His advice was to go back to normal, get her doing all normal things. Just feel like I'm making the swhole thing up