Shall I write an alternative diary for the school bear?

[Molehillmountain]

He's with us for the week and I am hugely tempted to take him to greggs and buy him sausage rolls and fruit shoots, given the wholesome experiences recorded in his diary so far!!!

oh the angst of recording daily tasks and trivia like shopping after others have written about real whizz bang adventurous stuff, pasted in photos, and florid descriptions of ruddy faced wholesome family fun

we did a picture of the class bear rummaging through a bin, like a proper bear.

Post a pick of him surrounded by scantily clad Barbie dolls with the caption "For World Book Day, Teddy dressed up as the founder of his favourite magazine publication"

I did this years ago when DS1 (now 24) was in reception. Class bunny was tortured by sadistic DH, had the trip into the washing machine then hung to dry over the rayburn, a night in the freezer, hung out of the window by a rope. I wrote it down, in bunny version, of his traumatic time with us and gave it to the headteacher.

We don't seem to have a class bear :( I'm gutted!

I love the idea of him rummaging through a bin.

I think a series of photos as bear romps into the woods shedding clothing as she goes. Titled Born Free.

Cut out fangs, stuck onto bear, sunk into your leg, tomato sauce oozing out.

Cut out wild eyes, stuck on bear, strips of brown fleece peeling off, posed with outstretched paws- Zombie Bear.

Apart from having his ear amputated, our reports (my reports actually, written and illustrated with my left hand when they were all in bed) featured excitement along the lines of:

'Pup only had time for a bite of toast before we all had to get into the car and hurtle drive to DD2's practice after mum found the missing kneepad (which kept her from making breakfast for everyone). As soon as DD2 left the car we went to buy something for the party DD3 is going to this afternoon, then off like a bat out of hell to pick up DS and his muddy friends from his game earlier than anticipated because it had been stopped due to downpour, lightning on the field, disgruntlement of the spectators. We tried to drop all the friends home but some of the parents weren't there as they had plans for the duration of the game (lucky them) hence the carpooling so three of them ended up descending on the kitchen along with all their muddy gear. After helping frazzled mum to clean the kitchen (we found out that Pup loves mud and is attracted to it as if it was a magnet) and corral the muddy stuff in the corner near the door we all got DD3 ready for her party and off we went again, picking up DD2 and her three friends along the way. Stopped for unsuitable food on the way home as the boys and DD2 and her friends were all starving, dropped the friends home as arranged, and continued on our merry way hoping that DD1 hadn't even surfaced yet to do her usual roaming in search of food followed by cooking something and half baked cleaning up after herself. Served 'lunch' (hence the ketchup stain over the left ear, sorry teacher) to everyone and played x-box and nerf darts with DS and his friends; Pup became an honorary nerf dart for a while (hence glitter glue on tail, apologies again, teacher) as DD4 was busy at the table while all around her the noise of battle roared. Pup then took a long nap and managed to get himself stuck in the innards of the couch.
Total mileage: 39.
Total photo count: 0 (haven't seen camera since last April)
Number of times Pup fell out of the car: 2

You may have noticed there was no mention of picking up DD3 from the party. That was not an accidental omission from the story .

You may have ours fuzz pig! No one so far has outsourced the bear's care. That would be an impressive first

There was no class bear or anything else when I was at school

Is it wrong that I'm wishing I could fast forward 4 years so DS is at school and I can write bear stories?

You can write them now! Here's the place!

Oh I wish I'd had this thread before we got the bear - we showed pix of bear doing all sorts in staged backgrounds as apart from the class birthday aprty he got left behind - a lot of competition too oH I wish I'd had a little more imagination - prhaps we can request him for the easter holidays.

This has brought back traumatic memories of a class soft toy known to us as Sodding Pepper. This wretched thing would turn up with alarming regularity (DD2's hand obviously permanently up for this).

We had to write the weekends thrilling activities into a little book. Of course the real problem was that we had to do this in Dutch and we had only just started learning.

We eventually worked this out by typing the story up in BabelFish and getting DD1 to advise where our Dutch was too 19th century.

Primary school teachers, when inflicting this torture on families please have sympathy for those who dont have the local language as their first.

You guys know there's a MN class bear somewhere, don't you?

"Was forgotten in the bottom of the PE kit bag all weekend whilst little toerags watched too much telly & their parents hid behind the Sunday papers. Now toerags' mum is making up some adventures to write down in this diary. The End."

Molehill mountain

Tis a great thread. I missed it in Chat but found it via the mn newsletter. Not sure why it got moved. It should be in Classics. (I have posted my witticism earlier but have name changed since as am watching Miranda, eating chocolate and ignoring my children. And their stuffed toys).

Ohbugrit-do you mean the one I started in chat or another one?

Ah-that clears it up then! Someone got there first! So not a rubbish idea-just already done! Would link to the thread but I'm on phone

He has his own blog and everything

Ah-and apparently he's gone quiet because he's moving house! The blog is fab-def worth a look.

GnomedePlume
That teacher was doing it on purpose! She probably found it hilarious! or was a bit of a sadist

Bear in Dutch. Awesome.

Don't think it's just the mummies who have the pain.

I went for a riding lesson at half term and one of the other participants was a teacher (I do hope she's not reading this) We all had to line up with our horses to have our picture taken with the bear [grrrr]. I was deputed to hold it, as I had dismounted, but my horse took one look, said (bless him) 'You're not bringing that bl88dy thing anywhere near me!' and threw a mega. Still had to be in the picture, though...

You are all wussies when it comes to putting stuff in the 'real' diary.

I am surprised we are still allowed to take the bear with us, given that the first time she was pictured in the real diary in McDonalds necking fruit shoots, and on the second visit she was pictured face down in a glass of vin chaud after a 'tired and emotional' day of skiing.

Ooh-very brave! Wish I could. Maybe by the time it's dd2s turn (dc3) I'll have plucked up the courage