Any advice would be much appreciated.

[Lucaslovesfelicity]

I am just after some advice really. My son started reception class last September and attends our local primary school. However, I am now considering changing him to our local CofE school just over two mile away for several reasons:
1.We regularly attend church and have done for several years now, since getting married and having both our children baptised. We would like both our children to be at a school that maintains a strong Christian ethos.

1. 12 months after nursery and five months into the school year, my son is still struggling to make friends.

3.Parents at my sons existing school, are discouraged from coming into the school, and younger siblings are not welcome at plays/assemblies. My sons present school has been rated outstanding by Ofsted (where as the CofE has got Good) but the main reason for choosing it was because my son attended the nursery there. However to me, the school never feels welcoming and friendly and I often feel that there is too much emphasis on the academic side of things, rather than the childrens pastoral care. So, I am now considering the move. What do you think? My son seems ok there but doesn't seem to be flourishing. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

Thanks for yours response Custard, I really do feel like I am going around in circles about this. I am trying to keep the focus on my son and not my own feelings. I think one of the main issues for me, is that I keep comparing it to the primary school I attended as a child...it was so lovely and I have very fond memories of it. I moved several times as a child (which was not an issue for me) but really enjoyed my time at the Catholic primary and Secondary school I attended. I often look at the school my son is at and often feel he is missing out on certain things, it just doesnt seem as caring as some of the other schools that I visit (in relation to my job). This is nothing to do with the religious side of things, I have had similar feelings in other Faith schools. It is just my gut feeling towards the school itself.
In addition to this, I also struggle with the fact that there is not a strong Christian approach in things like assemblies and displays, which I now realise is important to me. Oh what to do

Definitely agree with Custard. There will also be other issues to consider such a the change in structure at both schools. My dd attends CofE much emphasis on pastoral care but still complains sometimes she has nobody to play with, despite buddy bench. They attend church as a school for major events in the callendar and nativity is obviously a real christian affair. They receive no homework though and all other children I know, same area, different schools get a substantial amount. I overcome this by prepping my own and work on areas I know are weak. Obviously I don't suggest this is necessary but another view on your position. I'd go with my gut feeling, but also cover all eventualities especially upheaval it may be for your child. We moved 250 miles when ds1/2 were y1/ y4 and ds2 never settled to school again. This could be just him though as ds1 was fine. The culture shock was great though and even ds1 took the full school year to adjust. Good luck whatever you decide, and at least your faith will play a large part in your child settling as he is accustomed to this already.

Hi Lucaslovesfelicity

I would seriously think twice. I didn't find my DDs really made friends in YR - socially they were still too young. In fact with DD1, I didn't really know names of who she regularly played with in the playground until the end of the school year in Year R (and I was at the school every Friday for reading mroning, active in PTA and dropped off/ picked up a lot).

Ways to break the ice:

Have a birthday party. Invite as many other boys as you can. It will help you meet the parents and get to know faces and names. (This will also lead to invites from other boys for your son to come to their parties)

Join an after school club

Invite some of the boys over for a play date or to see a movie

Join scouts

We found that it wasn't really until mid to late year 1 that friendships firmly formed for both our DDs.

The questions to ask yourself (and possibly the teachers) is:

1. Is DS happy at the school?
2. Does DS look forward to going to school in the mornings?
3. Is DS enjoying learning?

Although I can absolutely understand the Christian ethos being important - it doesn't necessarily mean that this would make it any easier for your child to make friends. I know that as a parent you want your child to make friends and settle in well - but these things sincerely do take time, especially at this young age - post 6 years of age in our experience.

I also think you have to be a bit calculating. The liklihood given the English school system that your DS will remain friends with these children is probably fairly low. Some will go to a grammar school (maybe even private school) and others will scatter to various secondary schools around. It's worse at faith schools, because often children travel from further away. So if you can't rely on the friendship thing - is it important for your child to be well educated?

We're at a school just recently rated GOOD by OFSTED. They have a lovely caring ethos, our kids are very happy there and have friends, but if someone said to me you could live in a hovel but go to an outstanding school I'd say yes in a flash. If the school will ensure that your DS has a great start educationally - don't undervalue that. Sure you may prefer a Christmas nativity rather than a Winterfest production before Christmas break, but if your child leaves school performing above national expectations (basically 4b in maths, english, science at KS2 Y6) that is truly worth it's weight in gold.

If the issue is that you don't feel particularly welcome at this school and we're hoping to be more social - I'd ask yourself two things. Have you made an effort to get involved (join the PTA, gone to reading mornings, volunteered?) And is this about you or your son?