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Primary education

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Friendship issues - really good do with some help on how to handle.

2 replies

Joliett · 27/02/2012 13:23

Will try not to waffle...
Ds is in Y5. Happy, plenty of friends, esp 2 boys been friends with for ages. Usual thing of 3s a crowd sometimes but no big deal. One would often play with others etc. will call them A and B.
Now another boy, C, appears on the scene as his bf left the school. Great, a foursome. All seemed lovely. Then ds came home telling me A and B don't want to be his friend etc etc. and they have been arguing a lot. Completely ignore each other or having really nasty arguments.
Sad ds but can't seem to work out what problem is.

Today, a completely impartial party said her dd, who has no hidden agenda or anything to gain by saying this, said that C had been telling A and B all sorts of lies about ds, so they wouldn't be his friend because he, C, wanted ds all to himself. Well it has worked because ds really likes C, they get on so well, and he feels very happy that he was there when A and B fell out with him. Seems that C was the cause.

I feel really really Sad for ds because whatever his faults, he is loyal and I never hear him bitching. I just feel incredibly let down on ds's half, feel that a situation has really been manipulated. Ds isn't especially happy at the moment because of all the tension amongst his old friends.

Please can someone help me, advise me on how to handle this. It has really really upset me but I know I can't be upset when I see ds as that won't be helpful at all.

Thank you.

PS I'm a regular, just name changed for this.

OP posts:
learnandsay · 27/02/2012 13:37

Give it some time. If child C has really being telling lies it'll probably become apparent after some time. Lies have a way of outing themselves. You can't get involved in playground politics because you're no longer a child. Children will be children and as long as they're not hurting each other they've got to be left to get on with it. Children can be really horrible to each other sometimes too. If you know the other parents then invite the families round for Sunday lunch. When the nice summer weather comes round get together and have barbecues. If the observant girl in your question knows about the lies, then it's probable that other children know about them too. Sounds like a bit of an open secret. I wouldn't over-worry about it. But rather treat it as a growing pain.

Joliett · 27/02/2012 13:53

Thank you for your thoughts. I know I have a tendency to over worry these things, probably because I remember how much I hated playground politics as a child and 2 faced or unloyal friends.
Right, so I won't go in all gung-ho this afternoon....will see how things pan out.
The silly thing is that ds loves boy C and they get on really really well and there was no need for the lies. Ho hum.

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