Magdalene - going on the SEN register doesn't label you or mean you stay on it all it means is exactly what you said - the child currently needs support.
It's a label for the paperwork describing the extra support a child gets.
SEN does not mean SN.
LuckyDuck - I've always found that teachers have down played my childrens difficulties. For this reason I can never again trust teachers.
If your child is not throwing chairs they don't tend to be concerned.
You also have to remember teachers don't actually know what to do. So they don't have any sensible suggestions for you to do at home.
Teachers have half a day training on SEN. So if they haven't met a child like yours before they won't know anything about it.
I'm sorry to be so negative. Hopefully I'm wrong and your experience will be nothing like mine. But my story (for 2 kids with 2 different problems ) is pretty depressing reading.
However, I no longer blame school. It's not their fault. I've taken responsibility for everything myself, and in that way have made progress.
You can't trust teachers, sencos or schools if your child doesn't learn in a typical manor. (actually DD didn't learn at all. It's really not fair to blame school. She couldn't learn. )