Reception Playdates...

[jlh69]

How important are they??

Some of the children (the girls in particular) seem to have about 3 playdates a week- the mothers seem to be a bit obsessive about them.

DD has been invited on a couple and we have had couple here but I have not really got into organising them too much because she's generally exhausted and grumpy at the end of the day and just wants to veg (young in the year), she has a younger brother who she likes playing with (and who tries to ruin any game she plays with her friends...) and she's also not that bothered. She gets excited if she has a playdate but if I ask her is she wants me to ask someone round she only wants the same 1 or 2 girls.

She doesn't get asked on many but I also think that's partly because at school she plays with a lot of the boys and girls whereas I know some of the girls get a bit obsessive and possessive about each other, best friends one week and not the next. DD can't be doing with that!

She's happy at school, plays with lots of different kids at playtime etc, enjoys parties, doesn't go on about wanting a best friend etc (like some of them) and quite likes a bit of downtime on her own.

Part of me feels I should be inviting all sorts of random classmates back but talking to other Mum's I'm not sure it really makes a difference as to who they end up being friends with really.

I know I'm thinking about it too much but PFB and all that!

I wouldn't jack them in altogether but maybe occasionally have the odd one or two, especially towards the start of term. Avoid the end of term when they're all running on empty. And invite the boys she likes, not just the girls! Maybe if there's a child with a younger sibling the Mum/carer could come too with them so your younger child gets a playmate too?

Thanks for the quick reply!
Am definitely going to do the odd one and we have had ones round with younger siblings. She does an after school club outside school with some of the boys too.
It's more wondering whether I should be doing a lot more- think I will tust my instincts. The last thing I want is her being exhausted and having a massive tantrum midst playdate (although it seems they all do it!).

I have a PFB in reception too, so watching with interest, and also possibly overthinking the situation! Sounds like your daughter's settling in and socialising really nicely - agree the whole little girls and best friendship stuff is best delayed as long as possible (in as much as we parents have any choice in the matter!!) - so I'd carry on as you are.
My DD is just coming through the exhaustion after school (mid-year birthday) - she has ballet and swimming 2 days a week though, so don't want to get into playdates every week (and I also have younger sibs to factor in). We have friends who we walk home with who sometimes come for a play (with the mum and little sister too) and we've had a couple of playdates with friends of DDs whose parents I haven't known before. She's just started spending a lot of time with one little girl in her class, and am a bit wary of it turning into a best friendship - I get on well with the new friend's mum, but don't want to push the girls into a friendship because of that. It's a minefield, isn't it! (But I don't actually think any of it will make much difference...)

I think will be a bit easier next term- it's so cold and miserable now that at the end of the day you just want to get home and not go out again. I think in the summer half the school decamp to the park down the road after school.

It never does any harm to get on with the other parents and children, be used to having them round, etc. You never know what might happen in the future. You might need someone to look after the children while you pick Granny up from the station, or whatever...

Personally I think playdates are beneficial for both adults and children, albeit for different reasons.

I agree learnandsay- I actually know most of the parents anyway - all very nice- and there's more than a few I could ask for help if needed. I do reading at school as well so know most of the children too. It's all very friendly!

No, don't bother with them if they're too much hassle- I'm all for an easy (ier) life. We do the odd one but generally I think the kids need chill out time too. At the moment DS already has gardening club (just this term) and tennis after school so doesn't leave too many after schools for playdates. Some of the children in his class seem to be doing a lot of playdates and some don't do anything- it's very individual- I guess what suits one family doesn't suit another, there are no rules, just do what suits and I think as they get older they will be more proactive in wanting/arranging them themselves!

Don't get too sucked into them until you have to IME.

My son is constantly getting invited to them (and always wants to go) and then I obviously have to recipricate and it is a bit of a pain that I don't really enjoy.

Now my daughter has started reception and because she has seen my son have all these playdates she expects the same so now I have to fit hers in aswell and I usually have 2 days a week with children coming back and swimming another day and with homework to do there is little vegging time.

I regret getting sucked into it tbh.

I would love to arrange more mid-week playdates but I work. Luckily our childminder also minds 1 other girl from her class during the whole week and one more girl 1-2 a week.

At nursery we often arranged playdates at weekends. But now at school it is a lot more difficult.

I didn't do it at all in reception for dd1 - we knew nobody before she started and there just wasn't a playdate culture at the school. We've now switched to a more community-minded school where we have lots of friends, and everyone does them. We do one every week or two, which is enough for us. I do prefer it when dd goes to someone else house, I have to admit!

My dd2 is in reception and has a lot of staminia so she is quite happy to go on the odd playdate. But she only goes to friends from nursery at the moment - I wouldn't want her going to someone unless I knew the mum reasonably well. Her playdates are much easier to manage than dd1's actually - she and friend just go upstairs and play. Maybe that's because they know each other well already.

? and in answer to your question, I don't think who dd2 has playdates with will affect who she is friends with later on. It just doesn't work like that at this age. I wouldn't be doing it if dd2 was like yours and dd1.