How can I prevent DD (Year 6) from being so mean?

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My DD (year 6), has recently has taken to being unkind by name calling and putting her siblings down. She also makes sarcastic barbed comments. DH and I do not do this, so I am not sure where she gets this from. She is not normally like this. My younger DD and DS are confused as they are not used to this either and get very upset by her comments.

We have explained to DD many times, that name calling hurts people's feelings and is not acceptable. We have also tried docking pocket money - but neither approaches are working. Any ow other ideas how best to deal with this?

Is there 1 thing she really likes eg mobile phone or ipod etc ? take this away initially for 1 day then every time she does it increase the ban for a day. Works with my lot!

Could she be attention seeking? She surely would gets a reaction. However, this isn't something you can ignore. So, I think you just have to keep on, how would she feel?, explain, take favourite things away, cut sweets etc, whatever works. It might be a phase she soon grows out of...

Put her alone in her room until she repents.

If you want to go a bit more the path of trying to understand where she's coming from have a read of "Siblings without rivalry".

good luck

If this is a change in personality, then perhaps she is unhappy about something. Is she OK in her social relationships at school? Is she anxious about waiting for secondary school applications.? It's not uncommon to 'kick the cat' (or siblings) - if things are going wrong and you are hurting. I think I long chat is needed to understand where this is coming from, along with the clarity that this behaviour is not acceptable.

IMO they learn it at school and it is how she is and rubs along at school in Year 6 they are Kings and Queens of the school and it may have gone OTT in your DD she needs a firm telling that at home this is not acceptable. They are all at it I'm afraid not just your DD...my Year 5 is having a sharp lesson in this himself and he hasn't got a mean bone in his body but at school this appears to be the norm and he seems to think this is ok he is learning that 'school survival' stays at school and reminding him he doesn't have to behave like that because we love him but we will not be ruled by him is working!!!

It's called "Y6 girls syndrome" very common and contagious.
Treatment requires a firm hand from parents and teachers, mixed with lots of praise and attention when deserved.
Generally improves greatly on entry to Y7

Seriously if you have a word with the other mums they are probably having similar problems.

Any experienced Y6 teacher will have seen it before. Ours is very good at having a few well placed words.

DD2 is in Y6,she is not being nasty (longstanding zero tolerance to her point scoring, unpleasant comments), but lots of whinge and attention seeking.

She's not sure she wants to go to senior school, several friends are going to other schools and knows she's expected to do very to exceptionally well in her SATs.
She doesn't want to be that grown up and who can blame her.

However, she and all Y6s are ready to move on and they have to accept this and be pleasant to live with.
All we can do is be firm and loving in equal measures.

Hormones will be kicking in, you are in for some challenging times. But it need not be awful. Be patient and understanding with her but do not let her get away with language or behaviour which you believe to be disrespectful. She is testing the boundaries so you need to stay firm.

Try to find some time to spend with her 1-1 if you can. When she is feeling chatty, be there to listen to her. It might be worth offering a carrot, such as a slightly later bedtime if she can show a more mature attitude to her siblings. Give her lots of praise when she is kind to them. Good luck,

Thank you for raising this - and for all the great advice. DD1 (Y5) is getting like this and it has been driving me mad. I now have a much better idea of how to handle it.

I was going to suggest hormones too Fairenuff my 'nice' little girls turned quite vicious around that age - especially DD1 being nasty to her younger sister. DD2 is still a bit like that now (she's 11) but since starting senior school seems to have calmed it down a bit.