After school play dates - help!!!!

[Malsmum]

I have 2 DSs (year 1 and reception class) - they both love having a friend round for tea after school, which I guess we do every month or so (and alternate between them). The only thing is that whilst the friend is at ours, they tend to either (1) go a bit crazy and hyper or (2) end up playing on their own. Whichever DS has the friend round often seems to end up in tears, not because of any falling out, I think just because they get so excited and then find it hard if it isn't all exactly as they thought it would be.
Should I be trying to do something structured with them and if so what? I usually try to leave them to it. Is this normal and will get better over time as they get more used to having friends over??? Any advice??

I have a 5 year old DD and she gets over excited for playdates and often ends up in tears etc so I tend to the structured play thing with her. Cupcake decorating (ponce alert), colouring etc. Works really well. Worth a try.

I think it's normal at this age. I know you say you alternate friends but I've actually found it works better for us for the DC to have a friend each on the same day - then they have the option of playing as a foursome or in twos and you don't have the "child without friend" either getting ignored or bothering the others.

I tend to also do a tea that requires child input - e.g - putting toppings on pizza - then you can naturally divert them if it all gets a bit overexcited without having to do something very structured.

Hideous, just avoid it until they are about 10/11

I am with sandyballs . people seem to go mad for these playdates.

We tend to have children to stay to tea and get them to add their own choice of topping to a small home-made pizza etc.

This way the have a bit of structure to the play date and also the child has no-one but themselves to blame if they don't like their tea

It does get better with time (more so with girls).

I have a DD10 and DS7 and i find it better if they both have friends over on the same day. Or if one of them has been invited to a friends house, i'll invite someone to play with the other.

Pizza making goes down well (and helps with the fussy eaters) as does decorating biscuits.

Thanks for all of this - think I'll have a go with both having a friend over at the same time. It'll either be great or will kill me!