Should I complain?

[loobee]

I witnessed something today which made me feel upset and really uneasy all day. I was taking my little one to school (in reception). Due to the snow all the kids were changing from their wellies into their shoes at the school door (we are not allowed into school to help, we have to drop them at the door). There were about 10 children changing their shoes and the headteacher was shouting at a child (approx 6-7yrs) in front of everyone because he had no wellies on and his trousers were all wet. He was crying his eyes out. She was saying "what are we going to do now? your trousers are wet and you have no wellies. why? you were told to walk on the path. Now you'll have to wear wet clothes all day. Have you got new trousers? No!..." and it went on and on. And on. He continued crying. I couldn't believe the way she was shouting at such a young child in front of 2 TA's and lots of other children and me and other parents. My 5 yr old was upset by it but went on into school. I was so unsettled I said something to another mum outside the door who agreed it was unacceptable. Later on she told me it had continued after I left.

I don't know what to- I'm new to all this school stuff- but I feel I should complain about the way she humiliated and upset such a young child in front of other children and parents. It was obviously his mothers fault he didn't have wellies on and therefore had wet shoes and trousers, not his. Poor little boy :-Am I over reacting? Should I approach her directly- if I could pluck up the courage?!

I would, in a letter, copied to governors.

No, I don't think you're over-reacting. You don't punish a 5 year old for their parent's mistakes, and you never publicly humiliate a child. And the school would have managed to find a spare pair of trousers from lost property or somewhere.
But complaining to the HT about the HT isn't going to get you very far. I'd ask at the office for contact details for the Chair of Governors, and outline your concerns to him/her.

I would have said something at the time TBH. I know it seems difficult when it's the HT, but they of all people should be behaving appropriately and professionally.

If you see them in the morning I would just ask them to one side for a quick word, or ring up and make an appt. But decide what you want to say before you go - make sure you don't end up arguing with them, be calm and polite.

I would probably say something like ' I noticed yesterday morning that you seemed to be shouting at X about his wet trousers, I wouldn't like to think that my child will be spoken to like that by your staff? After all, it's their parents job to make sure they have suitable footwear on, don't you think?' And stop talking.

Don't go on and on at her like she did to the poor child See what she says.

What the mother did or did not do in terms of wellies etc is not relevant as far as I am concerned. What is relevant is that the head teacher's actions are totally unacceptable from what you have said in your post. It could well be that the pupil in question has "form" regarding doing similar things but that is no excuse for belittling the child in front of both other pupils and parents. Any telling off should have been in school, in private. This could easily be characterised as bullying and if the head teacher does it then one cannot expect anything but more examples of it from both staff and pupils.

If you can pluck up the courage to do so, then the correct course of action is to write a letter of complaint to the Chair of Governors about the head teacher's outburst, saying how regrettable it was in front of other pupils and parents.

Thanks for replying. I was not sure whether to write to chair of governers or approach her directly. She scares me (and many others, I get the feeling her staff too) but I feel I have to speak up for that child. I would be furious if she spoke to my child like that and so I should do something. I was so angry and shocked by it this morning I felt I had to calm down first- I would have ended up arguing. I was also rushing for work for quite a big meeting and was already late. I was worried enough to post on here, and I'm glad to hear I'm not over reacting. I'll make an appt in the morning. Thanks for the advice all, and the advice to stop talking! I just can't bear children being spoken to in a humiliating way, but was particularly cross as she is allegedly a professional and is being paid a very good wage to behave appropriately. Silly cow.

just a minute - the child was told off for not walking on the path, not the lack of wellies. If the kid had been told to walk on the path and dashed off to frolic in the snow regardless, a telling off is in order.

It is not appropriate to talk to a reception child like that for any reason. I would complain to Governors. That is humiliating shaming bullying behaviour that could change a childs outlook. I would definitley complain. And by the way folks - it may have been a "mother" or a "father" who forgot the wellies. The word "parent" is more appropriate.

Hmmm I suppose I see your point- but regardless of what he had done it was the manner in which she spoke to him, the length of time she went on at him when he was visibly upset PLUS the unprofessional way in which she did it which felt like watching bullying. I think he may have been possibly not walking on the path, but this felt more than a telling off. I take your point, and i imagine this is what she will say tomorrow when i go and see her.

Inappropriate to get that angry, but FFS read the post. 6-7 is y2, not reception.

Dustinthewind - sorry only had time to scim !

But yes, complain. She needs to realise the effect she's having by getting that angry, both on the child and on those watching.
Even if it is a child who always does exactly the opposite of the rules, always causes chaos and who will be throwing snowballs at other children later. The one who causes endless complaints from other parents about his behaviour.
The one who was my son in primary. The demon child.

You are not overreacting. Admittedly there may be a background picture that you are unaware of, but no teacher (least of all the HT) should be treating a child in this way.

I do think that this should be reported to the Governors- her actions were seriously out of line no matter how you look at it.

There could be any number of reasons why he wasn't in wellies, his parent might have forgotten, the school might have forgotten to send them home on friday, he might live next door, and on a clear path there was no need for wellies, or like one of my dd today he might have refused to wear wellies (she did have an all in one suit); and it is no good walking a long way if they aren't comfortable.

That aside, I cannot possibly imagine our HT speaking like that to a child, they would comfort the child and then pass over to a TA to help the boy delve into his PE kit for something, or play russian roulette with lost property etc, or I guess in worst case ring parents for spare pair.

You need to say something, either in person, though it may make little difference, or to governers, their details may even be somewhere on website, maybe the other mother would consider a joint letter. I know in your position I might be concerned about the impact on my child as the HT sounds v unprofessional anyway, but it should still be possible to complain but say that you do not initially want your identity disclosed, of course if they already have concerns then this may become part of a disciplinary case. You could also seek out a parent governer and ask their advice on the best route of complaint.

I would be worried if I felt that my child would be in such a culture for the next 7 years, and if we don't speak up for our children they may feel helpless to do so. Good luck

She sounds like a bully. horrible.

This is the head teacher of the school.

Think carefully.