Don't want to be one of "those" parents, but do I speak to the teacher about certificates?

[CringeyButtocks]

ds is in Reception and is a bit downcast about "never" getting a certificate. He did get one, in the first half of the first term. Lots of his friends come out of weekly Assembly with one, some on a fairly regular basis.

I've told him he needs to work hard to get a certificate, he says he does work hard. To be fair he is making very good progress.

If I mention that he's a bit down about it to his teacher, and ask what I can encourage him to do in order to try and earn a certificate, would that be ok or would it come across as pushy and ridiculous and micro-managing?

I totally believe that these things should be given for proper effort and achievement, but at this age they mean so much that if he doesn't get one soon it's going to work the opposite way - ie why try if my work is never recognised / or he'll feel he's not as good as his friends.

I'm a firm believer that, if something is bothering your child, you need to tell the teacher.

I don't know what your school is like, but our Reception teacher is very sweet and lovely, and it is no problem just to have a quick word at pick up.

You're not asking the teacher to give your son a certificate, you're just mentioning that he's talking about it. I wouldn't ask further than that, tbh.

Mind you, I would also make sure your son knows that certificates aren't everything, and having fun and enjoying school, that's what counts.

I know of two mothers in my school who have mentioned that their child is yet to receive a certificate. In both cases, the child has receive a certificate the next week. If that happened, how would you feel - would you think he'd earned it based on merit or because his mum complained?

DS gets very few certificates and has always been upset about it, his behaviour is fine but he just doesn't seem to attract certificates, too quiet to be noticed in my view. DD gets loads, which makes it worse for DS. She is a drama queen and I am of the view her current teacher gives her them to keep her quieter and content. DD is yr 1, DS is yr 4.

I would ask your DS's teacher about the policy she uses for certificates and perhaps let her know how your DS feels. Not all schools are as careful as they should be in making sure all the little ones get a fair number of them each and it can cause much upset at home and demotivate children.

thanks all, I think I will have a low key word with the teacher.

tbh right now as ds is still only 4, I care more about him being incentivised and encouraged rather than the merit issue.

I'm sure the teacher will keep a record of who has received what and when. I guess getting round 30 odd children is likely to take some time and may mean only getting one a term? Perhaps children who have received more than one have got them from other staff? Dinner ladies, TAs or sports coaches etc Or maybe there is a a standard way of getting extras like you get a certificate if you get all your spellings right or finish a certain amount of books etc??
It's not something I would speak to the teacher about but if your DS is upset, maybe that's different. Maybe he does everything well & it is hard to pick out one thing! The others may need all the encouragement they can get?

In KS1 it seemed a roundabout of certificates and stickers and house points. Does he get the other forms of recognition? I would not mention to the teacher if he does. You could always make him a certificate for reading beautifully to you?

It doesn't matter how we feel about whether our children earned the certificate fair and square or through a complaint, that's not the point. What matters is how the child feels. Give that child a certificate, I say. Then it's smiles all round. It's only a nice piece of paper, it's not like we're discussing city bonuses.

Poor thing! We had boys at our school getting ones for 'good behaviour' which basically meant not biting, punching or bullying another child for a whole week (yippee!). They can be used to encourage good behaviour and sometimes the children who don't get them are just trotting along, doing their work and getting good marks!

We had the same thing and I was fuming (as I saw another bullys' grinning face with a 'friendship award' on the awards pinboard in the school - he who had been knocking seven bells out of the other children all term) but decided not to. The following week, DC got two - for maths and music, so if I had said something, I would have wondered about them.

I had exactly the same issue. My boy was getting upset as he was always on the neutral or higher for behaviour but there is another board based on work achievements which he had not moved up on at all. He was upset as there are 2 very badly behaved children who were on the 'red flames' nearly everyday for behaviour but moving up for work. The trouble is he has been moved into year 2 (but really only year 1 age) and does generally good work all the time, he is quite quiet and rarely disruptive so I am guessing he is relatively unnoticed.

I eventually said something as he was very upset and said he couldn't understand why the naughty boys were always being moved up the board. The teacher said he was concerned that he was labelling children as naughty (really? sorry I don't think he's grasped political correctness at 5 years old) but that it was a slow process and he would move up soon - lo and behold the following week he was moved up 2 places!!! I was then left wondering why that had happened - since then he has been moving up regularly!

Unfortunately he is the same outside of school and he doesn't push himself which often leads to him not being noticed for achievements!

Well I mentioned it casually this morning, teacher who is lovely was fine. I actually said could we use it as an incentive to get ds working on his writing a bit more - I would encourage him at home and hopefully he could be recognised for this in due course.

Teacher did say they go down the list, so it may simply be that his turn hasn't come about again as he's near the bottom of the alphabet.

Glad it went well.

Walks away from whole new rant about always organising kids alphabetically.

I know at myDC school they all end the year with same amount of certificates.

These things are a divisive pain in the neck (and merit assemblies are dull, dull, dull).
At DDs school it always seems to be the girls who get them for good work. If the boys get them it's often the same few who need encouragement for various reasons.

Then at the end of term there must be frantic list checking because suddenly totally new faces appear. Either because the teacher realises X hasn't had one or because their mother has had a word.

This means that DD2 gets three certificates at towards the becoming of term (for naturally being good at literacy) then the teacher realises that other people need a turn and she doesn't get any more. This seems to happen with several bright girls and the one boy who gets good work certificates pretty much every year.

Parents asking for certificates sometimes results in the teacher stopping the certificate system as it is obviously not rewarding in the way it is intended.

Be careful what you say to the teacher and learn patience with your child.

I would just explain to your DS that trhey are a load of sh*te and just used as a way of making naughty kids behave.He'll figure this out fior himself before long anyway!

They should be banned. My two are long gone from primary but when they were one child was at a school where the same "stars" got certificates all term, plus all the badly behaved kids got them for "improvement". DD despite being near top of class, good behaviour etc got about 2 in three years. DD once stated that she was going to have a week of being naughty so she could be good the next week and get a certificate!!

DS went to a school where once you had got x ticks on the chart you got a certificate. He was dead excited at getting enough ticks, but no certificate came home so he asked the teacher when he would get it. Answer? "Oh we have to wait until everyone has got enough ticks for a certificate...." Even DS aged 6 came home and said "well that was a waste of term working really hard for a whole week!" So his work was finally rewarded about two terms later when he had forgotten all about it.

Both kids learnt that these schemes were pointless and stopped worrying about them!

I am just glad that our Infant school doesn't do certificates. She get's comments and a sticker in her homework book and the reading diary when she manages to read the book by herself or her homework is really good.

Plus good artwork is displayed so the children make an effort to produce something decent.

As naughty children are banned from having an extra hour of free play on Fridays most children try to be good during the week. Free play is better than certificates.