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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Dreamy boy taking hours to do homework

17 replies

DrFish · 01/02/2012 02:24

Hi everyone, my DS is 8 (yr 4) and gets homework every day - 30 mins reading followed by a bit of writing about what he's read, some kind of spelling activity and a sheet of maths. It should take an hour including the reading I reckon. Ha! DS is regularly sitting from 3.30 when we get home until after 6pm. It is all apparently just revision of what they have done in class and he can do it all, sometimes needs a little help but the issue is that he drifts off all the time, makes excuses to go the toilet (again), sharpen his pencil for the millionth time, stare into space for a bit....

In the past we have had meltdowns over doing homework so what he have now is actually a MASSIVE improvement - he is taking responsibility for his homework, checking what he has to do, and knows that there's no tv/ds/playing outside until it's done. But because he is taking so long, he's hardly getting any time for those things. Basically he has time to eat dinner, maybe watch 10-15 mins tv then shower and go to bed by 7.30. I've explained the obvious many times - get it done then you can go and play - but it doesn't seem to go in.

I used to have to sit on with him to get the homework done and don't want to go back to that now that he's working much more independently, but feel bad that he's spending all evening on his homework when he doesn't actually have that much. Should I go back to sitting with him or just leave him to it? Or is there a way to help him focus and get it done?

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PushyDad · 01/02/2012 09:16

Last night my Yr 7 DS was up late revising for his EOT exams. He was past his usual bedtime by about 2 hours and you would think that he would want to focus and get to bed. Nope. He would be busy Google translating his German but once I leave the room he would flip over to the Youtube window and watch some PC game trailers. Of course when I tell him off, its a case of Yes Dad and once I leave the room ....

The kid isn't complaining about lack of sleep and he regularly gets 'A's so I don't really come down on him for being distracted but it is irritating. His sister was in bed by 9, having finished all her stuff on time. I think that its a boy/girl thing.

So, its not going to change. I wish I could say that it does :)

BobblyGussets · 01/02/2012 09:24

That's too much homework for an 8 year old. On the other hand, my DS could do with all that catch up because he is dyslexic and we do have to sit with him when he does his homework, so your boy is doing well. We had melt downs and absolutely hated to do it with him, but him being diagnosed as dyslexic has liberated us in that we can help him a bit more.

Is there any way you could read/do household accounts/MN at the same table as him, so you are doing something, but are there to stop him from being de-railed from the task?

Also, I am not suggesting you should put your DS to bed later, but it is always useful to compare: our boy goes at 8 and does about half an hour's pottering in his room. He seems to be getting enough sleep. I will watch the rest of this thread with interest. I hope you get to make things easier for your boy OP.

PushyDad · 01/02/2012 09:30

I agree with Bobbly. When DS does his music practice, me and my laptop sits in with him. Otherwise he takes a break every 5 minutes.

Original poster

DrFish · 01/02/2012 09:52

Thanks for the replies - good to know it's not only us!

Is that a lot of homework? I don't know as he's my first. I am really proud of the progress he has made. The work is not too hard - if it was I would hand it in unfinished with a note. He seems to have difficulty getting started and needs me to clarify instructions but then he's fine, for 5 mins anyway! I keep him at the kitchen table and often "bring him back" by asking if he's ok/almost finished etc.

I don't really want him to go to bed later as he has to get up at 6am for the school bus at 7am. Sometimes he's up until 8pm but any later and he's knackered then the behaviour slips....

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BobblyGussets · 01/02/2012 10:00

Also, re the concentration aspect: When he comes in, if your DS is not eating until 6/7, does he get a snack? My DS needs a piece of toast and a glass of chocolate milk shake at 3.30/4pm if he will be eating at 6.00pm. A snack might help him concentrate.

Original poster

DrFish · 01/02/2012 10:03

Yes he eats a snack on the way home from school then dinner at 6 or just after.

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crazygracieuk · 01/02/2012 10:14

Have you considered setting a timer and handing in what he's done after a set time - say 45 minutes?

I'd ask the teacher for hints on how to keep him on task. If he's not dreamy at school then you need to consider what it is about home that makes him lose his concentration.

PushyDad · 01/02/2012 10:56

DrFish - Its only a lot if DC can't handle it. At that age mine were doing 30min Kumon a day plus 30 minute music practice plus about 10 min reading.

Some parents no doubt think that I/we are being too pushy but DC passed his 11+ comfortably and he is now in the senior orchestra despite being 2 to 5 years younger than the other kids. So, Pushy Parents Rock! :)

Original poster

DrFish · 01/02/2012 11:11

Haven't even attempted any music lessons yet - he is musical but the thought of trying to get through the practice....

The school is very into them reading a lot - I have to admit sometimes I let him stop after 20 mins if I know he has a lot of other homework.

Crazy if the work was too hard for him I would do that, but it's not. He's not actually "working" the entire time he's sitting. He is similar at school, it's not only at home. His teacher says she has to refocus him a lot, unless he's very into something hands on like a science experiment. Then he wants to be the leader and take over apparently . Luckily he's in a small class and his teacher can keep an eye on him.

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Taken · 01/02/2012 11:20

Mine is a dreamer too!
Someone suggested a timer to me and it has worked so far. I am only two weeks in but has cut homework by 20 mins. So it's worth a try.

CecilyP · 01/02/2012 11:21

Would it be better if he did the homework the other way round? Eg, get the straightforward things like the spelling activity and maths sheet out of the way first. Then see how much time is left for reading. Also, 'a bit of writing' about what he has read is actually a very open ended activity, especially if he can read quite a lot in 30 minutes, so it might be worth asking the teacher what she is actually expecting from this, so that the task can be more focused.

Original poster

DrFish · 01/02/2012 11:29

He usually does the maths etc first then the reading and writing, but it depends, I usually let him decide. They are given instructions for the writing so it's fine - describe a character or a problem in the story, something like that.

Timer is worth a try - I have asked him if he would like me to set an alarm before but for some reason he hated that idea!

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betterwhenthesunshines · 01/02/2012 15:19

Ask him to make sure he has eveything ready - sharp pencil, ruler, rubber etc
Check if he knows what he is supposed to be doing.
Traditional clock on the table in front of him so he can 'see' the time moving....
Ask him how long he thinks it should take, and then show him on the clock.
Talk through eg. this first part you should be able to do in 15 mins and then 15mins for this last part
Have him working in the same room as you so you can see when he is daydreaming...!
Tell him when the first 15mins is up and he should move on to the second section.
Finish at end of time (if necessary with note to teacher..."this took X 30mins" (or however long it should be)

It take a while but it should pay off!
It does sound like a lot to do each day (my son Yr 5 has 7 'things' a week plus reading).

bubby64 · 02/02/2012 14:12

I have got twins in yr6. One gets on and does it, then has time to himself to do as he wishes, the other can take hours for the work to be done! Since putting them in the same room to do homework is a receipe for disaster, "go getter" does his in the dining room on his own, and I have "dreamer" in the kitchen with me with to hover and prompt! It is the only way to get the work done, with almost constant nagging pursuasion on my part, and also saying "you have x amount of time before your dinner/favorite programme/dad is home(he likes to sit with DH watching him play xbox game), "if the work isn't done you will miss out!"
Mind you, it does seem like a lot of homework for a yr4 to be asked to do, even if it is easy!

seeker · 02/02/2012 14:19

An hour a night is far too much for an 8 year old.

Set the timer for 30 minutes- tell him to hardest for that 30 minutes, then stop.

Original poster

DrFish · 03/02/2012 10:12

I do feel like he doesn't get much free time in the evenings, but part of that is not getting the homework done quickly. I guess the whole class are getting the same amount, and no-one has complained as far as I know.

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katiecoocoo · 03/02/2012 11:15

I'm sitting here reading this and counting myself and my 8 year old very lucky as he only gets set homework on a thurs or fri and has to hand it in tuesday the following week..it only seems like a hell of alot because it seems to take him so long, he's quite easily distracted by his very demanding little sister and hates written work.He also reads to himself at bed times sometimes which is good practise..I had no idea so many schools give set homework other than reading/times tables/spellings on a daily basis..Its actually a major relief we don't get it every day as it can't be handed in uncompleted, they get kept in at break times til it all gets done..I feel so sorry for the kids whose parents don't have as much time to encourage them to get it done..Only a minority of the kids in my sons class hand the homework in completed unfortunately so the others must rarely get to go out at break times or after lunch.

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