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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

I don't like the "outstanding" school near me.

32 replies

crispface · 30/01/2012 21:21

That's it really, late last year I went to visit our local primary schools for my daughter. She is my first child.

I visited the ofsted outstanding school first and was spectaclarly unimpresed. We were shown round by an admin assistant who couldn't answer my queries, nor was anyone available to (and they weren't difficult questions, just ones about snack etc), the teachers mostly ignored me , the class sizes were too big for the actual classrooms (very old school) so children spilled out of the classrooms, and a host of other reasons. Though there were other points I liked, suck as the outside space and gardens...

Then I visited the local primary school which is slightly bigger than the outstanding school. I went on the last day of term and no-one was put out that this was when I visited. The ehadteacher met with me in her office, answered any questions I had and then took me to look around. All fo the teachers greeted me and dd, and dd was taken by the reception teacher to look at a christmas display the children were making, it was warm and inviting and I loved it.

However a lot of people I know with children the same age are criticising my decision, and I'm starting to get quite defensive about it (eg saying it is easier for me to take dd there because of x, y and z...rather than explaining that I really liked it). One "friend" has openly criticised my choice, saying she knows the teachers there and that my child will fail (she is a teacher too, albeit secondary, and in a different county) and that she would rather give up work and home-educate than send her chld there

This other school is ofsted "good" so it isnt horrific - so wise MN'ers, what can I say to these so caled "friends" to stand up for myself and my decision.

OP posts:

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TalkinPeace2 · 30/01/2012 21:34

your gut instinct is right
ignore your friends
YOU know what will make you happy to drop your child off

Fairyliz · 30/01/2012 21:37

I work at a school; your child will only learn if they are happy. Which school do you think will best suit your child?

thisisyesterday · 30/01/2012 21:37

you don't have to justify your decision to them, and if they keep saying things I think you need to be really blunt with them and say "i have chosen the school i feel is best for my child, please stop criticising my decision"

gut instinct is SO important.
ofsted is fine, but it certainly isn't the be-all and end-all of a school and it certainly is not the most important thing to look at when choosing one.

NonnoMum · 30/01/2012 21:38

In my town there is one outstanding secondary that is undersubscribed and the only oversubscribed secondary gets the worst GCSE results by a large margin.

Seems parents go on gut feeling/ethos etc not OFsted.

Original poster

crispface · 30/01/2012 21:40

you are all speaking a lot of sense, thank you. I am normally quite an assertive person, but have a lot to content with at the moment (my dad is in hospital and is not going to recover and I'm supporting my mum through this) so I just feel a bit vulnerable with the decisions I am making.

OP posts:

Catz1 · 30/01/2012 21:47

Please go by your gut instinct.

We sent our DS to local "outstanding" school and within 3 years it had only just scraped "satisfactory". The whole class had nightmare year 6 and all were so relieved to move to high school.

Each child is different, go for the school which offers the most nurturing and happy environment and that you are comfortable with.
Hope goes well.

Catz1 · 30/01/2012 21:49

Please go by your gut instinct.

We sent our DS to local "outstanding" school and within 3 years it had only just scraped "satisfactory". The whole class had nightmare year 6 and all were so relieved to move to high school.

Each child is different, go for the school which offers the most nurturing and happy environment and that you are comfortable with.
Hope goes well.

RueDeWakening · 30/01/2012 21:53

Ofsted is bollocks.

DD is at our local, outstanding school. I visited another outstanding school and hated it. I loved a school a bit further away that was rated good.

DD is loving her school. I am not at all convinced that it's going to suit DS when he's due to start school in 18 months. Quite what I do about it, I haven't worked out yet...

CecilyP · 30/01/2012 21:54

So your friend thinks that any child who doesn't go to an outstanding school will fail? Even in quite poor schools, bright children from supportive homes do not fail - and this school is rated good.

I would go with the evidence of your own eyes, rather than the unreasonable prejudice of others.

teacherwith2kids · 30/01/2012 21:55

I did exactly the same - chose the 'good' school that impressed me with their warmth and child-centredness over the 'outstanding' school...

Depending on who I am talking to, I either stress a trivial-but-personal reason why I really liked School A [that the head of the 'good' school was prepared to wait several minutes for an answer from selective-mute DS, this becoming the first adult from outside the family DS had spoken to for several months], or a trivial-but-personal reason why I didn't like School B [smaller after school club]. These are not the 'real' reasons, and they are personal to me so no-one else can say that they are 'wrong' - but equally they seem concrete enough to deflect criticism.

So I suppose I'm saying that your tactic of giving 'other reasons' is very similar to mine. For someone who had never been to either school, though, I would just murmur 'Have you visited the schools recently? I do think you get so much more from a visit.'

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 30/01/2012 21:55

Do what feels right hon x it's as much about the feel of the place as it is about the ofsted reports if not more so, outstanding means nothing if it's cold and un inviting. Take ur dc to the place u feel she will be happy and well looked after and u don't need to explain to anyone why u didn't choose the so called outstanding school. Remember these places can often become victims of their own success with large classes not enough space etc. X x

UnSerpentQuiCourt · 30/01/2012 21:56

'Outstanding' schools are good at ticking boxes. If caring about individual children is more important to you than box ticking, go with your instincts.

Eveiebaby · 30/01/2012 22:36

crispface - the comments your friends have made about your choice are ridiculous - it's none of their business anyway what you choose for your daughter is personal - I would suggest you tell them you have been to visit the school and got good vibes about it! There's no need to go into anymore detail do not get drawn into their discussion about it.

BabyGiraffes · 30/01/2012 23:07

Go with your instincts! Our local outstanding faith school quite frankly gave me the creeps... dd is incredibly happy at her current school and I am glad that I have grown a thicker skin and will no longer justify my decision to anyone!

mummytime · 31/01/2012 06:57

My kids go to an Outstanding school, and its great. But I totally rejected sending them to another local school which was always outstanding (a I didn't like the atmosphere), it has now gone down to a good. Another school has recently gone up to Outstanding, and I would rather not send my kids there, although it is perfectly acceptable, I just find it a bit formal and I don't like proper ties on 5 year olds.

A fieind of mine moved her bright son from the star Outstanding school in her town to a "rougher" one, and her son went from being miserable to thriving.

School choice is a very emotional thing, and you do have to learn not to listern to others.

nmason · 31/01/2012 08:50

I work in a satisfactory school that has just come out of special measures, it isn't just the bright children who succeed it can be any child in a 'bad' school it depends on the teaching. We were a good school before special measures, our problem was we concentrated on the whole child not sats, and yes there were a couple of teachers who were ready to retire, however most of the teachers were and still are very good (which makes me laugh when I hear the govt thinks teachers can keep teaching until 68!). Children do best when they are happy and the parents work together with the school to help learning. I would say 'I visited the schools and this is the one I know she will be happiest at and so will learn best'. As for your friend abroad it sounds like she has a person issue with the teacher and it's clouding her judgement! And I'd say that to her too!

Becaroooo · 31/01/2012 08:55

Always go with your gut instinct OP.

My son was at an "outstanding" primary school where he was miserable, bullied and made to feel stupid for 3 years.

He is now at a - gasp! - "satisfactory" local villlage primary where he is happy and progressing.

OFSTED are a pile of crap IMHO.

Becaroooo · 31/01/2012 08:58

namson is spot on...the best schools are those where the parents work with the teaching body to make sure the pupils get the best educational experience they can...the PTA that I am a member of subsidises trips, plays, eduational visitors, improvements to the school playground, sports equipment etc.

3duracellbunnies · 31/01/2012 09:50

It is a good school, an outstanding school can easily go down to a good school and vice versa. I would want some specifics from her about which teachers it is that you need to 'watch out for', she probably can't name any. I would say 'well it's too late now, forms are in, if if doesn't work out and she is unhappy I will move her.' Is she applying for her child now too? People do sometimes put down someone else's choice to make them feel that theirs is a better choice. Once your daughter starts school you can make a whole new bunch of friends who also like your school. Am sorry to hear about your father.

AThingInYourLife · 31/01/2012 10:01

Sorry about your Dad :(

I am very suspicious of the things Ofsted can measure and whether they have anything to do with what I consider to be a good education.

I think you are entirely reasonable to have your own ideas about the kind of school you want for your DD.

I've just done the application process too, so I know how it feels to be second guessing yourself.

If you feel good about the school, then hold onto that.

I'm surprised so many people you know take box-ticking reports so seriously.

strictlovingmum · 31/01/2012 10:12

Happy children make for happy and receptive learners, caring and accepting environment will instil security and confidence into a child regardless of OFSTED status, follow you instinct and don't pay attention to what your friend is saying, these first primary years are very important for any child and not only in academic sense, pastoral care, in tune teachers with well being of all children as their primary concern, that is a paramount IMO.
DS went to "satisfactory then good" school for six years, happy playful, intelligent child who did not "fail" at anything, opposite in fact, his needs were met in every sense by teachers who worked hard and differentiated work among their pupils very successfully, in turn DS passed his 11+ for a local Grammar school and gained 12 GCSE's, rest is history.
Children don't "fail" because they go to OFSTED inspected "good" school, if they are going to fail (I am not sure if there is such thing as failed child) it is usually combination of factors, most important being lack of parental input and interest IME.
Follow your gut feeling, good luck

areyoutheregoditsmemargaret · 31/01/2012 10:41

Did the same as everyone else on here, in my instance chose "good" primary - that had previously had a very poor reputation, over several private schools we could afford. I liked the vibe best. Three years on my dcs are thriving there and the school is improving in leaps and bounds. Most stupid remarks you hear will come from people who have never visited the school and have no idea what they're talking about.

Almostfifty · 31/01/2012 10:42

I did this. Went to both the local Junior schools. The first one (the OFSTED 'outstanding' one) I was shown around by some of the children, who were very pleasant, but couldn't answer my questions. I asked about a chat with the Head, but was told that she didn't do interviews. (I think this was because she was assured of a full intake no matter what.)

I then went to the other one, that was only rated 'good'. The Head took me round, answered all my questions and it was clear to me that the children absolutely adored him. He knew every child and they looked up to him.

My son went to the second one and it was the best one for him.

Go with your gut instinct, it rarely fails.

nlondondad · 31/01/2012 11:11

By the way OFSTED is not "bollocks" it just has, like any system of assessment, a degree of unreliability. Also it measures a limited range of things and is accountable to Government on what it measures. The whole area highly, and unhelpfully, political.
A OFSTED should, like SATS results, only be used as some of the evidence.

An anxious, hypervigilent mother visiting a school can collect more and wider information in an hour than OFSTED can collect in a few days which may have been a few years ago.

Am I just saying, in a longwinded way go with gut feeling? Perhaps. But actually there is no reason why you should not have an informed gut and the recent Ofsted can be used as an element in that.

Becaroooo · 31/01/2012 12:57

ahem.

I didnt say "bollocks". I said "pile of crap" and I stand by that remark.

I have many friends/family members who are teachers and I am directly quoting 2 of them.

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