Am i being unreasonable to consider changing schools because of this?

[twinmummy24]

Ok, firstly please don't flame me i really want to know if i am being to sensitive or if i have reason to be worried,

My twins started school in september and we had a really tough time choosing a school for them, after much soul serching we decided on a school which is not in the best social area but we really like the school ethos, teaching style and feel and felt the girls would be happy there, supported and encouraged without the whole focus being on achademic achievement.
Any way, fast forward a few months and the girls have settled well, i am happy with the school and teachers and the girls are enjoying school and have made a few friends.

My problem is some of the other parents, at almost every drop off and pick up there are numerous other parents who shout and hollar at each other often swearing and being abusive, alot of the comments are racial in nature as there is a large multicultural background at the school and now on a couple of occasions i have seen alcohol being drunk outside of school by parents who then pick up there kids, on one occasion a obviously drunk parent picked up a child from the girls class and the teachers had to say something.

i am trying really hard not to judge i know people come from all different backgrounds, one of the reasons we chose this school was because of the diverse backgrounds of the pupils thinking it would benefit the girls but i am starting to think we have made a huge error in sending the girls to this school, the girls have even commented that they don't like the adults shouting and swearing,

so, am i being to sensitive or would you move your children from this school?
Dons hard hat in preparation!

on a couple of occasions i have seen alcohol being drunk outside of school by parents

Oh. Was it a small hip-flask engraved with my granny's initials, and was I also necking mood-modifying tablets? Sorry to have brought the tone down... I find some of the other parents terrifically harsh tbh. And sometimes wavery grammar makes me nervous.

I would be moving my children and making sure I never applied for a job there either. Seriously. Sounds hideous. We have lots of children with horrible home lives but there's no swearing/drinking on the premises (mostly no swearing, anyway).

I think for me there would be two issues that would make me consider moving;

1. Are your children at risk of picking up anti-social behaviour (such as racism), with you as parents there is a strong likelihood not.

1. Are your children at risk? That's something only you can answer really. but if they are, then move.

I don't think you are being overly sensitive. The racism and alcohol issues would be more than enough to drive me away!

You always have to look at the 'whole package'. For me, I'd like to think I had enough confidence in my feeling at the start, that the whole school ethos was clearly so much more appealing to you than the negative points, but it's difficult for us to say, as I also think a big consideration is that there are lots of other nice families for the children to become friends with other nice dc. It depends how much you liked this school better than the others.
Also, would thy have 2 spaces avaialbe if you did decide to move ?

MeSugar, not hip flasks no, cans of larger being glugged down at the school gates and on one accasion a bottle of whisky being drank out of, unless of course they had emptied the contents and substituted it with apple juice, just to make sure i am not being to judgemental!

I'm with ladybaabaa and feenie. the alocohol drinking strikes me as creating an unsafe environment for your children. The racism would make my sking crawl.
Have you spoken to the Head teacher at all about your concerns?

alcohol and skin...obviously

I would be looking for a new school too.

My children used to go to a school where there was a lot of swearing and smoking at the school gates. I was so happy to get them out of there.

My children are my biggest priority, I would never put them in a school with this type of environment.

Change schools quickly.

No question: look for another school.
This is sending some negative messages to your DC about acceptable behaviour.
Don't make themistake of persevering because there's a diverse social mix. A diverse social, economic and ethnic mix can be a positive thing for all and whilst tolerance and acceptance of difference is an important lesson for kids, they do not have to be tolerant of alcohol-drinking and verbal abuse atthe school gate.

I would be looking for a new school quickly.
School is more than four walls or the teaching staff. Are there enough nice families to invite to parties/playdates? Drinking aside (clearly a no-no but a very small minority), the racial overtones and swearing would clinch it for me.

I also would look for another school. Swearing and racist language is awful anywhere and is not something I would want my children to listen to from adults in a playground. I would worry that they would eventually think it's acceptable behaviour.

I think I would initially request a meeting with the Head. The presence

Oops

The presence of a nice, friendly police person should knock these things on the head sharpish.

If they persist, yes I'd be off pronto.

It sounds as though the school is doing well in encompassing the mix of children and their needs. But it isn't fair that children get good care within their school but have to run the gauntlet of abusive behaviour on their way in and out.

As your children are being upset by the poor behaviour of other parents, it's more than reasonable to move them to another school. But in the meantime, could you have a chat with the headteacher about the situation, and see if the school is getting enough/any community support, maybe from the police community support people? Or other local agencies? It may be that the school have asked for assistance but haven't got anywhere, so could welcome support from parents like yourself in pushing for better behaviour around the school.

Is it actually just a tiny group of the same parents behaving in this way? I would raise the issue with the Head, as per EnjoyResponsibly's suggestion, and see how the school responds.

Organise a meeting with the head. Can't you get other likeminded parents on side - you can't be the only one who is disturbed by this surely? Hopefully you can get this sort of behaviour stopped. It's a shame if your DTs are forced to leave a school that you are otherwise very happy with because some parents do not know how to behave.

I agree speak to the head, I'm sure they are aware of it but ask what is being done. We've had to involve family support workers in the past as well as having the head on the playground or near the gates to deter this sort of behaviour. Unfortunately language used by parents is becoming quite a problem at a lot of schools these days (from a variety of catchment areas) so you wouldn't necessarily escape it if you moved them.