Feeling very frustrated I can't help her

[Nicky38]

can any1 help me I'm so frustrated & can't help my daughter. Her school uses Read Write Inc & she is a fab reader - no problems there-in fact teacher says she's shocked how good her reading is but not her spelling. Some of her words are not spelt correctly but they can guess them however she is also spelling words which make no sense at all & they can't even guess them....teacher says she may not learnt her speed sounds 2, & given her extra homework to do with me, this week her sounds are EAR & ARE ..... this is my problem how do I explain the difference in spelling PEAR & STARE or BEAR or CARE when they sound the same..... I'm could just cry as I can't help her... Any advise would be appreciated..

How old is your daughter? Try not to panic, some children can only learn by whole words, not phonics (not that the govt would agree but after 14 years of teaching I have seen it many a time!). Do you think this could be the case? If so use flash cards to help her, get her copying the whole word. I'm very surprised you are having to teach homophones if this an issue? Get her grouping the words by spelling pattern and using the words in sentences. Hths

Thanks nmason, my daughter will be 7 in May, she is pretty good at memorising words, but I feel just memorising them isn't going to help her spell in the future... Her words this weekend are pear, bear, wear, their, tear ........ Plus ....... Stare, scare, care, share & square.... I feel so frustrated I can't help her because to me they all sound the same !!! I just don't no how 2 explain to her....she as been writing them out over & over but still getting them mixed up...thxs for your advise, I'll try the sentences 2mo.

Hi Nicky38

Have been there and done that with both DDs.

With DD2 (in Y1 with similar spellings) we now take the approach of breaking down the spelling lists into groups. If you have -ear/ -are/ -eir words then teach them in blocks.

So let's start with the -ear words - and teach bear, wear (with the 'air' sound).
anything with the 'ear' sound (as in hearing sound) is easy - because you can hear the ear. So there is an 'ear' in 'hear'. Then teaching 'tear' can be a mnemonic - she can hear the baby cry (use the ear to hear the tear).

Then teach -are words, -air words, etc... - obviously your child is learning words most likely for short-term gain of doing well on the test - but much less stressful (and see below we're starting to see improved spelling).

With homonymns - there - their - they're - My teacher taught us this when I was little:

There is a here in there - so the place word 'there' is spelled T - HERE

Their - the pronoun- is about two or more people - there is a he and i in T HE I R - so mnemonic - he and i bought that house - that's THEIR house.

They're - is two words squashed together - THEY ARE forming THEY'RE - so just remind your DD that They're = they are - so check the meaning in the sentence. When you want to say They are - you can use THEY'RE.

The other trick we play is to make up sentences with the group of words: The bOIsterous chOIr sang nOIsily or the annOYing OYsters clang to the buOY. DD1 memorized the sentences and used them to help sort out which spellings on the test.

To be honest initially DD1 & DD2 would memorize words to do well on spelling tests and then would absolutely forget spellings. But what I'm finding is that gradually over time these things seem to be sinking in and spelling is now improving for both girls. I've also made a point of having girls write sentences using the word & copy out spellings (say 6 times each and say the letters as the write the words) - the school doesn't require this and it is extremely old fashioned, but my DDs seem to learn their spellings better that way.

Thanks pastsellbydnate, I will try getting her to put words into sentences, I also get her to copy word out several times. Think the there, their & they're is fab haven't heard that one b4 so will teach her that.. Thanks again.

"I feel so frustrated I can't help her because to me they all sound the same !!!"

That's the trouble. They do sound the same. It's a mad language.

How bad is her spelling? I ask, because when my daughter was at a similar stage in RWI, her teacher wasn't too bothered whether she used the right spelling, as long as the sound was right. So it would have been regarded as good that she wrote "I ate a pair" instead of "I ate a pear", because it did show that she'd heard and remembered the sound correctly. Her teacher was of the view that the correct spelling would fall into place soon enough, with lots of reading and writing.

However, if her spelling is so bad that they can't see what sound she's trying to use, that does suggest that she's not really grasping the phonics. Which might be just the way that she learns, as nmason says. And that might mean doing some work with her at home that helps her learn the "whole word", while still towing the party line at school about using phonics.

There's loads of good advice above so almost embarrassed to add this. Our DD is quite musical and so is DP (I'm not). DP sings out the individual letters of the words and gets dd to join in and they do seem to sink in that way

soandsosmummy I love that and am going to try it!

Wonder if it would also work for times tables. DD1 very into her music atm, but rubbish at times tables. But if I challenged her to set the 8 x table to music ......

another thing- try to relax over this- she has the rest of her life to figure out the spellings and she will get them eventually. People just learn at different speeds. The more you anguish over this, the more she will panic about getting them right to make you happy. Just do as the others say- simple copying out and putting them in her own sentences. Also try using coloured inks/felt tips etc for different spelling patterns and drawings.
Remember English spelling is bizarre and can take a while to "get".
Finally, you could check she is not seeing letters a bit 3D and no hearing difficulties (to be absolutely thorough!)

I've also made a point of having girls write sentences using the word & copy out spellings (say 6 times each and say the letters as the write the words) - the school doesn't require this and it is extremely old fashioned, but my DDs seem to learn their spellings better that way.

Writing out the spellings and saying , preferably, the sounds as they are written is an excellent way to reinforce the kinaesthetic memory which plays a very big part in good spelling (every word has a unique 'feel' and rhythm to it). Those old teachers of my youth (but we had to write it out 10 times...) knew what they were doing

I'm sorry but I get an irresistably daft image any time any one talks of 'towing' the party line...How on earth do you tow a line and what do you tow it with?

Thanks maizieD for your support of my old fashioned approach to spellings.

I am sure that spell checking itself isn't advocated, but I learnt to read by sight at 3, then had to relearn ita at school (mad 60's change the world to phonics), whilst reading 'normal' books at home. My reading was good but my spelling remained poor well into adult life.

The thing which has really helped me is spell checker in word, and not just because it has all the answers! (though am sure it helps). There is something to me very visual about it, all those red lines, which makes me aware of where I go wrong and remember the next time. I can see with a child that it might not be great as it could make them lazy, but if you can find some other way to help them visualise it, it might help.

Duracellbunnies. Someone at Ds,s school did research a while back, which showed boys retained spellings far better when using a pc and spell checker, over a dictionary and handwriting.
Ds can't spell, he is on sn register for literacy problems, but is doing really well and forecast A/A*s.

Thanks everyone... I'm sure she's just memorising her spellings, after spending hours & hours last weekend on ear/are sound, while doing a quick spelling test over breakfast Monday morning she proudly said "mommy I know them because all the words that start with 'S' I remember they end in 'are' ...share/stare/square all the others end in ear .... Tear/pear/bear"..... To be honest I'm still frustrated with it. I've spent all weekend looking into private schools/private tuition/Kumon/computer programms to help her... (by the way can anyone recommend anything I could buy for iPad 2 help her like wordshark or apples & pears - I have know knowledge of either)..... What I do no is I need to back off a little, She did 2 hours of English stuff Saturday then again Sunday think I'm becoming obsessed.... & I no she tries so very hard & to please me, At the mo she loves reading & writing & I don't think I'm doing much for her confidence nagging her to do English all the time...feeling very guilty tonite......maybe I need to make it more fun.... If anyone as used wordshark or apples & pears on pc to help with spelling could you let me know if it worked . Thanks again.

Nicky38:

I think you DD had a great way of recalling the correct spelling. Yes it's learning for the test - but what I've found is that gradually, because of familiarity with the vocabularly they really do start to more frequently spell correctly.

2 hours (hopefully not at one go) is a lot of work at age 7, Nicky38. I certain do more than just the recommended with my DDs - so I'm not saying this is wrong - but do please ensure it isn't all at one go. That really is very hard on a child. We try to build a routine of little 15 minute or 1/2 hour blocks in the week & at the weekend when things get done. So reading school book or library book every evening after bath. Letting the girls play educational video games whilst we prepare dinner. Doing maths homework in the 1/2 hour each sister has to wait for the other to finish their ballet lesson. Practicing spellings at the table with a snack, right after school. We started this 'homework routine' approach about 18 months ago, when we realised DD1 was seriously struggling and well behind her peers from nursery. It has made a huge difference - but it has been slow and steady and we're all only really noticing the improvement 18 months on now.

Try looking at Campaign for Real Education website info about what children should be achieving/ learning at various ages: www.cre.org.uk/primary_contents.html. This is a statement of 'ideal world' education aspirations - but it helps to reality check your ideas on what a child should know at each stage.