Bed wetting + school residential trip = need help!

[VonHerrBurton]

DS is 9. Residential trip for three nights looming in April. He's excited beyond belief, however, he bed wets. Most nights. We have been seeing an enuresis nurse for ages and have tried all their suggestions and the desmomelts - nothing works.

I guess it's not advice about how to stop it happening before April - we've banged on about how it doesn't matter, the teachers know, his friends will be fine about it (they're a nice bunch of boys and would be surprised if anyone was mean to him) it's just I want to make sure there's not some little golden nugget of advice out there that would make the whole thing less, well, obvious and embarrassing for him.

A Mum who's son went on the same trip last year said she actually sewed the pull-up into his pjs so he could just pull them on like anyone else putting theirs on - that's the plan so far.

Any other suggestions would be fantastic, thank you in advance!

Go and see your GP about desmopressin nasal spray. This doesn't work for all kids - so try it out before he goes, but it worked for DS, and he was able to go on school trips/sleepovers with confidence.

He could administer it himself too (he was 10 when we discovered it), so nobody needed to know at all.

Hi VonHerrBurton

DD went on 2 night residential at start of Y4. One of her friends who shared the room clearly also had this problem. The school handled it in two ways.

1. They let the girl get dressed in the loo, so she cut put on her pull-ups without everyone seeing.

2. They told everyone in the room that this girl had a condition with her bladder, so needed to be on a lower bunk, so she could get to the loo easily.

Several noticed that she had pull ups - but they all assumed it was part of her 'condition' and didn't tease or even comment about it.

My ds went on a 3 night residential trip last year and wore pull ups. He got dressed and undressed separately (he has mobility issues and the others are used to him having help changing for PE). No children commented at all and the teachers assured me there are always one or two each year. He had a great time! Since then (he is now 9) we have used this bed-wetting alarm with amazing success. He used to wet practically every night, and now he hasn't wet once since we used it in September/October (took about 6 weeks of training, but for some it takes less apparently).

We used the same alarm as fairy, also with great success-took 2 weeks. It was expensive, have a look on e bay, that's where I sold ours when we finished with it.

Been there, done that, got that T-shirt - though with Cub camps where it tends to be even worse as a) they have sleeping bags which are impossible to dry, and b) there is nowhere private to change in a tent....

Tbh, DS never had a nasty word from anyone, the other boys seemed wholly oblivious. The leaders organised his sleeping position so that he was right next to the tent flap, ensured that he went to the toilet twice before going to bed, and didn't include him in the evening cocoa round (they have at least 1 bedwetter all the time, often more than 1, so it was a well-oiled process).

The main issue for DS was having a discreet place to put wet things, rather than when changing for bed. We provided a large drawstring plastic bag, into which DS just shoved anything that got wet. He obviously had enough pjs to have 2 pairs each night, and for camp he took 2 sleeping bags and a waterproof liner - make sure that your DS understands any process for getting dry bedding if tat's something that he's likely to need in the middle of the night (DS wet so heavily that despite pull-ups he also soaked sheets and duvet every night, though 'lifting' him last thing at night did help with that though it of course makes no difference to the cause of the wetting).

Also, DS took a tiny alwarm clock that was set a few minutes before everyone else woke for the day. That gave him a few private minutes to sort himself out before anyone else was up (he HATED having to ask an adult for help, hated it much more than the being wet itself, so I had to make it possible for him to manage alone - this may not be the case for your DS).

On the positive side, DS has nothing but positive things to say about his Cub camps ...

Talk to the school. They will already have done previous trips with bedwetters and will be able to suggest ways of your DS best dealing with the situation.

Im taking 30 Y4's on a 4 night residential this year and i agree with all the posters who say there are always a few for whom this is still a bedtime problem. We are always very discrete and never tell the other children. Everything is orgainised to allow the child room to change on thier own without it looking suspicious and they know a quiet word to an adult will get everything sorted. Just make sure you tell the adults well before he goes so they can think through how they can best handle it on the trip. He'll have a great time!

Everyone who's taken the time to post - thanks so much.

That's a couple of thumbs up for that particular alarm, so I think we will order that today.

I am sure everything will be done discreetly, I have spoken to the teachers and they have pretty much said what you have said fourcats.

I suppose I should be thankful he's not worried as a friend's dd is consumed with what if, what if, instead of looking forward to all the activities and spending time with their friends.

Thanks again.

The other thing I thought of - though it may be particular to my mildly ASD son - is to get the teachers to talk to your son directly about how they're going to handle it, how he signals a problem to them etc.

However much I told DS that he could tell the Cub leaders if he needed help, he could ask for help, they knew about it, he would not approach them as the instruction and reassurance only came from me.

It was only when the Cub leader spoke to him directly before camp and they arranged a private 'code word' to use that DS felt confident that he genuinely could approach them for help.

coldethyl thanks a lot for your input. Yep - nurse has mentioned the dark-drink thing and I have to admit that over the years we haven't been as vigilant with it as we should have been, although when we were vigilant (for a year or so from age 6 or so) it didn't really make a difference.

Short of hypnotherapy (eeek!) and aromatherapy (hmmm) the alarm pants thing is all we haven't tried. Have held off the alarm pants - they always seemed a bit, I don't know, mean maybe?! I know they're not! But we need to get on with trying them now I think. It has worked for lots of people so we have to try it.

It did feel a little mean using the alarm, but mainly because it woke me up 2 rooms away before it woke ds up! He is such a deep sleeper (probably the reason he bed wet), and it took a few nights and a change of melody to wake him.
Then over 2 weeks, he went from waking soaking wet, to waking damp and finishing his wee in the toilet, waking almost dry, to not needing to get up for a wee at all at night. It's like the alarm got him out of a habit that he had no control of.
I bought mine new, it was expensive, but I sold it on e bay and recuperated half the cost, plus what I saved on pull ups and washing!

There are also vibrating alarm pads (e.g. for deaf children) if you don't want to wake up the whole house.

we used both aural alarms (the 8 alternating sounds one) and the vibrating ones (malem). ds slept through both, or unplugged them in his sleep. they worked like a dream for his older sister though.

desmo doesn't work with ds either.

i feel your pain, but i'm marking place for any other ideas. cub camp in two weeks.

hmmmm, those rodgers alarms - how easy is it for a child to pop the sensor off? is that all it takes to stop the noise, or do you have to do something else? (get out of bed and push button on the receiver?)

it was just two weeks with dd1 and the alarm. wet every night before and dry ever since.

We tried the sensors and the alarms woke everyone in the house up except DD who was wearing it.

We asked for a referral from the GP to the local aneuresis clinic who then prescribed desmomelts. They helped but were still not foolproof.

When my DD was 10 she went on a residential. We hid 2 pull ups of the quietest variety we could find into the bottom of her sleeping bag and she practised snuggling into them once in her sleeping bag. We packed a plastic bag in case she needed to stash a wet one in there in the morning.

As ut happens, she was dry as she was concerned about embarrassing herself and went to the loo plenty of times.

Hi there,

There's a brilliant charity - ERIC - who give loads of info about bedwetting to parents and others. They have a leaflet about how to cope with trips away with lots of tips on how to cope. Give them a call - 0845 370 8008 - or visit their website - www.eric.org.uk - you can download their leaflets for free!

Hope this helps & good luck!

Jayne