how do i help year one DD cope with conflict

[TrollopDollop]

DD in year 1 is not getting along with another girl. She says the girl is mean to her and doesn't want her to play with other girls etc. Nothing serious but DD gets into trouble when she speaks back as she gets wound up. She complained a while ago that the girl kept following her. My answer was she couldn't do much about that but to try and play with other children. DD has take this and told the girl to leave her alone and she wants to play with new friends! I spoke to her tonight about being kind and not saying nasty things and to walk away when this girl says she can't play with someone. I need some simple guidelines to give her to help. I know I have many years of this!

Speak to her teacher, he/she will know the other child well and can support your DD in dealing with her more effectively.

There is a self confidence aspect at the heart of this problem. Your daughter should not be listening to accusations that she should not be playing with other children in the first place. If this happened to my daughter, then I'd invent a game called:

No, no, no! I'll play with whoever I want to play with.......

And me and my daughter would play it together at home until my daughter really enjoyed playing it just for its own sake.

DS had this issue last year when he was also in Yr 1. The school were not helpful at dealing with it. I agree there is a self confidence issue - my DS didnt know how to extricate himself tactfully from the situation and there usually ended up being issues which (not so) funnily enough the school then dealt with. It's better now partly because (sadly) I ended up having a falling out with the mother and I think they have "persuaded" their child to play elsewhere