8yo DD being called 'gypsy' at school...

[QueenOfFeckingEverything]

The 'big boys' at DD's school have started calling her 'gypsy' (as an insult) and on one occasion 'gyppo', because we live in a caravan [sigh]

We aren't gypsies btw (not that it matters, just for clarification), just slightly itinerant by choice, though we have basically settled now DD is at school (she was HE until 7 so has only been going just over a year).

Its a tiny school, only 35 children, 2 teachers, and 2 TAs, so I am surprised that the teachers haven't picked up on it as DD says she was called it in class today and when she tried to tell the teacher was told to put her hand down and get on with her work. She has named the three boys she says are responsible, and says they keep shouting it at her even though she has told them to stop it.

DD is annoyed but not overly upset - I am quite cross though. Any suggestions for how to approach school and what is reasonable to expect from them in response?

I'm a school governor, and at our place, things like these have to be recorded as racist incidents. The fact that you aren't gypsy or Irish traveller is by-the-by - that is is being used as an insult is rascist in itself. I'd speak to the head, if the teacher isn't listening to your daughter. If the head isn't responsive, write to the chair of governors. Speaking to the head should do it, though.

That is horrible.

That's horrendous, although the children may not realise that it's so wrong to use it as such an insult (not that that's any excuse). You should definitely go ahead and speak to the head ASAP.

That is horrible. I'd say something to the school. It is bullying whether you're gypsy or not. (BTW I am gypsy and I was called 'paki', as were the black children in school - young racists are not very accurate. Our teachers did nothing and it made me )

Thank you - I know its irelevant whether we are or aren't Gypsies, I was just clarifying before anyone ignorant posted saying 'Yes but if you are Gypsies then the children are just making an observation, you should stop being so sensitive and looking for offence yada yada'

I am considering writing a letter actually rather than just speaking to teacher (head is shared with another small local school so only here for the first half of the week, and want to get it dealt with before then really)

It is a racist remark so the school should handle it as such.

Choosing to live in a caravan is different to the norm and children enjoy picking out differences and using them as a weapon if they can get a rise. Knowing this it is worth role playing ways she can handle this sort of bullying. Perhaps she could suggest to the boys that they'd better watch out as if she is a gypsy maybe she's learnt how to put curses on people... Maybe not?! But find a way for her to brush off these sorts of comments so that it just makes the bully look stupid. Like it or not, she can expect more of this sort of teasing so it's important you teach her how to deal with it as well as making sure the school deal with it.

Racist incident. It needs to be reported every time it happens.

Nothing to add except that I had a non-gypsy school friend who lived in a caravan and we were all . I can still remember the absolute joy of sitting in her caravan in the winter with the gas fire and whistling kettle.

We reported an anti-semitic name calling incident to the head and it did get dealt with.

So I agree with all the others, this is totally unacceptable language and the HT needs to deal with it - and she will.

Well, a letter went to DD's teacher (who is also the deputy head) this morning. Will see what she says at hometime...

Good luck - I am sure you are also coaching your DD in good responses and a staunch reaction? Tell her to say stuff along the lines of 'so what if I was a gypsy?' and "shame you don't know what you are talking about - not everyone who happens to live in a 'van is a gypsy - just the lucky ones!".
And talk to her about how pathetic they are in trying to make themselves feel better by pretending that someone else is worse, and that strong intelligent people don't need to do that. Etc.

I'm sure the headteacher will sort this one out for you.

Can you let us know how it turns out?

See you have written to the teacher /deputy head and you obviously need to see what now happens. If you do not receive a sensible reply very quickly (especially give they are in this teacher's class!) then you should write to the head teacher, explain the situation and indicate that you believe that this should be classed as a racist incident then the head teacher will have to record it as such and will have to investigate. If they do not then you need to take it further to the Chair of Governors and if necessary the Local Authority.
Is there a Traveller community in the locality or is this something that these boys have picked up from elsewhere.

The head herself spoke to me after school.

They have spoken to DD and she named the boys responsible, who were all spoken to as well. One of them admitted saying it straight away but the others denied it. They were all given a lecture on why it is unacceptable and the parents of the boy who said he had done it have been contacted. The school also logged it as a racist incident (which I know they have to do but it feels quite 'big' iyswim?)

Thing is, I know they were just saying it out of ignorance and bravado. I did say in the letter to the school that I was sure the children concerned were not being intentionally racist and that I doubted very much they understood the full implications of saying it. I just wanted it nipped in the bud - ignorance needs challenging wherever it rears its head. But now, one boy has taken a letter home saying he has been involved in a racist incident, and the school is so small that I am now worrying it will make things uncomfortable with the other parents. Hey ho...

admission - there is no significant Traveller presence round here. Most of the boys involved have older siblings so I suspect it has come from there tbh.