school related anxiety

[sunnymom]

Hi there, just looking for someone who has had a similar problem and could offer some hope to me. one of my 10 year old twin girls is having a terrible time with school related anxiety. they both repeated a year (due to them being too young ) but one of them has developed the most awful anxiety. It started one week into the new class. The principal reacted by shouting at her which made it worse so I got a diagnosis from a child psycologist of severe anxiety disorder, she wrote to the school and advised us on how to solve this, luckily it resolved quickly but after the summer holidays this year going back was terrible, the principal has since left but the new principal has the same attitude that we just have a stubborn child who needs to be punished if she doesnt stop crying. We luckily got camhs (child and adolescent mental health service)involved and the principal is now following their instructions, but it is slowly getting worse, she is now refusing to go inside the door of the school since seeing camhs, whilst before we were getting her in, I am really getting very worried that this is not going to end , i would love to hear from anyone who has been thru this and get some encouragement that it will get sorted

I don't have any experience if this, but I'd be moving school if I could.

The most important person in the school is the HT, in that they have a huge effect on the culture and ethos of the school.

So if the HT is the problem, there is no way I'd be staying.

you are on a major loser here with HT you wont change a HT I know ds on 3rd one .... you need to find a school that is more 'nurturing' my ds was off school for nearly a year with anxiety because they refused to meet ds needs. I found a lovely smaller nurturing school a yer ago and have not looked back

I agree with the first two posters - sounds like the school is at fault here. Your poor DD. And poor you - it is so stressful.

My son (12) is also refusing to go to school at the moment - he suffers from OCD and social anxiety. This school refusal has happened twice before. The first time, I managed to get him back to school with the support of a CBT counsellor at CAMHS and a TA to support DS at school. The second time it happened (thanks to bullying and a poor teacher) I took him out of school. I home educated him for most of Year 6, which was good for both of us.

He started secondary school last term and had a good first term on the whole, although having good days and bad days. However, he missed the last few days of term because of stress and exhaustion, then it was the holidays, then he was ill and now he just can't face going back. He has stomach pains and feels sick whenever he is going to school. The difference from your case is that the school are being fantastic. They are being incredibly sympathetic and working closely with us and DS to try to help him come back. We also have the support of a CBT counsellor through CAMHS who is trying to help DS learn strategies to deal with his anxieties. DS was also taking fluoxetine for several months, which really helped lower his anxiety levels, but he has just stopped taking this because it makes him feel queasy.

In your case, I would consider changing school or home educating as the unsympathetic response of the HT is doubtless a contributory factor to your DD's anxiety. It's also worth knowing that Year 6 is often spent just revising for the SATS, so it's not a bad year to miss.