I need some help with perspective here.
Basically, DS (Y2) joined a new school in September. The boys he was drawn to becoming friends with are a pretty tight-knit group with one obvious leader of the pack.
The Mums are also a close group, but I was welcomed in and we have all (with DSs) socialised outside of school. DS has had numerous playdates with one boy in particular (not the leader of the pack), and they play really nicely and often confer on what toy to take into school the following day to play with.
Now - here's the issue I need guidance on:
The 'leader' has been deliberately excluding DS from playing - especially with 'playdate friend'. When DS & 'playdate friend' are getting their toys out to play with during playtime, 'leader' comes across and tells 'playdate' he should play with him instead (which he does...), justifying his actions with certain 'rules'.
DS stands up to him to a certain extent but mostly goes off to find someone else to play with. The other boys in the group have also recently been excluded, so it's not always just my DS, and they seem more ready to take the rejection.
When DS tells the teacher, she tells him to find someone else to play with. We have also been encouraging DS to branch out and find other friends, but he's determined to be friends with 'playdate'.
Their teacher admits it is a tight clique and that there are always playtime/friendship issues. She told us this towards the start of DS's time at the school when he was finding it difficult to settle in and was initially being excluded by all of these boys.
SO,
Are we over-reacting by speaking to the teacher and complaining about this 'leader' boy? Or is this just normal playground behaviour? I remember it from my school days, but DH thinks that it's just girls who can be nasty in that way.