Deadline for primary school apps is hours away and I still can't decide – anyone there to talk some sense into me?

[Bitzer]

i can't believe it is the night before I'm due to put the form in and i just still can't decide but that's the situation so hoping MNetters may be able to help me see straight.

We're very fortunate in having 2 decent primary schools close by to choose from. DD1 is in the nursery class of one, it was in special measures until recently following quite a few leadership issues but has turned around v quickly, got a good ofsted report last year and looks set to continue improving. The other is a bit further along the road, in terms of SATs results it's considerably better and sits about 20 places above the school DD is currently at in the borough league tables. It gives the impression of being a bit more sound academically and a bit more traditional in its approach but has a slightly less friendly vibe about it. DD1 is very happy where she is and her best friend is there too, which would completely take the edge of any difficulties settling into reception, whereas I've no idea how she'll settle at a new school where she doesn't know anyone.

Choosing the school that, out of the two, with significantly worse academic performance feels really counter-intuitive. But as this is my first child to start school I've no idea what a big deal starting reception is and how valuable her being happy where she is could be.

People keep telling me to go with my gut instinct but I just don't have one. Would be v v grateful indeed for any guidance

I'd go for the closer one. As she is there already seems to make sense - is she happy there? do you like the nursery she is in? If yes to both go for that one

I can only say what I would do which would be to send her to the school she is already at (in the nursery)

This is what I have done with my DS (now yr2) and have applied to do for DD also in nursery atm.

The schools ofsted is also not fantastic (but improving)

The thing that stands out from your op is the less friendly feel about the other school.

THanks both. To clarify, they are both equally close. And yes, Little Tyga, I like the place she's at because she's happy there and seems to have fun. And I have friends there. But I feel I've got to make the choice that will give her the best education and wonder if she might thrive better in a more structured environment. It sometimes feels a bit chaotic at her current school and I worry a bit that going forwards that will mean she'll not have very much focused attention i.e. the other school seems to be quite good at personal goal-setting with the kids, which of course doesn't matter much when they're 4(!) but will matter more in a few years time.

Are you certain you will get into both? Only one school can be your nearest school. And the nearest school admission rule is ahead of the distance thing. Which LEA are you in?

We've v v close to both and I'm confident (having spoken to both schools) that we'll get into the one we put first. But if we didn't and got our second choice it would make the decision for us, which would be easier in many ways. We're in Islington

Are they your two nearest schools?

I think I like th esound of the one she is in at Nursery. Education is about the whole child, not just about academic success (although that is important).

My DC are currently in an outstanding school with fab SATs results. However, at the moment one of them isn't happy and I am thinking of moving her.

Hi, just read your post. My daughter is now at secondary school so I have a slightly difference perspective - but you could consider the following: you start off by saying you are fortunate and have the choice of two decent schools, so perhaps that answers your question. The thing that really kills you as a parent is when your child is unhappy at school. So if she stayed at the first one and it didn't improve as much as the second one - what would be the consequences? She might do ok academically it shes bright, or is born in the autumn. What are the secondary schools like - will she have to pass the 11 plus to get into the one she likes. Then what do you thinks shes like socially, i.e does she make friends easily (ie. could change schools without too much trouble). sometimes schools with poor ofsted also have problems with discipline and so teaching is a problem- I would think thats more of a concern. dont't know if any of this helps

My thoughts when I was choosing my dd's primary wasn't so much academic but how friendly/polite/happy the school was. As their mum I would be keeping an eye on their academic achievement and would push the school if I felt it was required. In fact even though their school has 'Good' Ofsted they are good at dealing with my dd's abilities and have organised extra activities for them. At this stage they need to feel safe and cared for and their little school does that brilliantly. It's a case of raising any doubts with the teachers and making sure they are doing their best for your lo.

Maps for distances last year here

Are your child's friends staying put?

Without a doubt the one she is at now at nursery. Closer, friendlier etc. I did the same and didn't look back.

Thanks v much for all your responses.

Re secondary schools, i've got no idea where we'll be by then (might well move out of London later on) so not really including that in my calculations.

MrsJAP - yes friend is staying put because she likes the more relaxed approach of current school but wants to know my final decision tomorrow am because hasn't ruled out changing her application if we go for the other school.

Re the friendlier aspect, I'm just not sure whether to trust my own judgement. That's the way it feels but that's based largely on views of parents at current school and perhaps that just feels friendlier because I already know it. DH is erring on side of the new school. Just feels desperately important not to get it wrong for DD's sake.

Thanks v much for that map by the way mrsPF - v useful. We're well within boundaries for both schools in question

Without ever having met your DD or seen the schools I wouldn't claim to know the "right" answer, but some thoughts that may help:

If your long-term hopes are that your DD will go to a secondary school for which she needs to pass an entrance exam, I would see that as an argument for choosing the more academic school.

I would be wary of choosing a school at which a high proportion of the pupils come from unstable home environments. I think that this could give rise to a higher level of disruptive behaviour further up the school even if behaviour isn't a big issue at nursery. Obviously, I've no idea whether this is the case at your DD's current school. You must have formed some impression of what the other parents at pick up time are like.

Is your daughter reasonably OK at making friends or does she struggle? Eg If you take her to a playground does she seek out other children to play with, or does she not approach other children but respond in a friendly way when they approach her, or would she only ever tend to play alone or with a child she already knows? If she finds it difficult to make friends, or if she tends to find it difficult to cope with change, those could be arguments for keeping at existing school. If there are no major issues with making friends or coping with change then I wouldn't see changing school at this age as a big issue. I wouldn't pick a school on the basis of one best friend alone - people move areas, friendships change. Is best friend also in nursery now? If so, are you 100% sure she will stay at same school anyway?

I know it's a really tricky question to answer at this stage, but do you have any feel for whether your DD is one of the brighter ones academically? If yes, that would point to the school with the better academic results. On the flip side, I think a not very academic child can end up feeling like a square peg in a round hole if she goes to a highly academic school.

Is your daughter an Autumn birthday or Summer or in the middle? I think Autumn birthday children tend to find starting school easier simply because the extra year makes so much difference at that age. If she is one of the older ones in the year, she may find it easier to cope with changing school. On the other hand, if you anticipate your daughter finding it particularly difficult (more so than the average child) to cope with the more rigid routines of school, it sounds like the school she is currently at might be more forgiving!

Finally, is there a trend of nearly all the pupils from the primary going to the same secondary school? If so, are you likely to get a place at that secondary school?

Hope the above helps!!

Any vibe on the HT at each of these, if you had to pick which head teacher you liked more when u did the tour where would point?

That really does help, thank you nonickname:

• I don't think current school has significant 'disruptive' elements though hard to say
• she doesn't thus far seem to struggle making friends but she is particularly attached to this one friend. However, went to another nursery before this one and made friends there
• She has a December b'day, so she'll be 4.9 when she starts school. I suppose she seems at this stage to be quite 'academic' if you can say that about a just-4-year-old. She can write a fair few amount already and recognise quite a lot of words already but then I know that sort of thing can change so quickly at her age.
• I don't know enough about the secondary schools and who goes where purely because I'd assumed we'd probably consider moving somewhere with better secondary schools by that stage but who knows.

Just seen the time, must finish this for and get to bed but thank you very much for helping me to rationalise it all. Much appreciated.

excuse typos/weird syntax. Must be tired.

Catastrophe - head at current school more immediately likeable. head at other school v efficient but perhaps less personable

Reading between the lines - stay where you are.

Going to a school with better results does not transform a child into a genius, it's all about "added value", i.e. which school will enrich her life and allow her to develop the best. This is not always the school with the best results!

Remember you aren't signing her life away for ever. I imagine Islington has some turnover of children, if you find that the school really doesn't work out longer term, you can apply for waiting list for the other school. I think it is important most of all that they are happy at school, you can do extra support work at home with them. Having said that, dd2 made no friends at nursery (attached to school) and hated it, but loves reception and has two best friends one of which she spends all her time with. The TAs who also taught her in nursery say is like different child, so can't always predict how they will settle.

Thanks v much everyone. I think I'm erring on the side of the school she's at although I do still have some misgivings. Still concerned that new school might be a bit more academically methodical and thorough, which sounds like a pretty good thing. Anyway, just filled in my form online but have realised it can be amended up until Sunday night so there's still some time left to agonise over the decision!

Is it WT and C?
The thing about SATS results is that they only show you how the whole school does not how your child will do. It doesn't make a huge difference whether 80% or 90% get level 4s so long as your child is doing the best that they can (whichever level that may be - it might be that a level 4 would be an underperformance for your child). I really wouldn't set much store by them without knowing the raw data and even then you never know.

PP - have just asked you same question on another thread before seeing this response! Feel free to ignore that

The thing I'm dwelling on is less the SATs results and more the ethos. I.e. feel WT may be closer to Thornhill in its v structured approach. Then again, it's a v small point but I agree with you about how useful uniforms can be! And in all honestly I'm not sure I fully understand implications of WT becoming an academy

And yes, it's WT and C!

I did a pros and cons sheet which I found really helped me focus. The I pulled out the top three things for me and awarded marks for each. Then gave marks for other important things. Then fixed it so that one of the schools won That way I realised which school I preferred after all.

If this helps today I used my last chance to visit my 2 school options, one academic, another not so but lovely, and have chosen the less academic and more lovely in the end.