Please give me some advice about my reception dd learning to read

[yellowparrot]

I have 2 dc. My ds is now in year 2 and was very complient when it came to learning to read. He happily read his books every night and read fluently within a few months. Now my smugness is cathching up with me! My dd is now in reception and learning to read. She has done very well with phonics and can read any word that can be sounded out phonically as well as some tricky words. The problem is that she really messes about when doing her reading books. She often won't even look at the words. With lots of perserverence from me eventually she reads the book, but what should take a few minutes takes much longer. It is very frustrating but i know i have to keep calm so sometimes end up getting my dh to finish off the book with her so i don't get cross with her.
School are really pleased with her - i know she doesn't mess about there. She was the same with learning to write letters - wouldn't let me show her, but easily learnt at school.

I just don't know what approach to take. It is very frustrating and i worry it will delay her learning to read. By the way we have tried bribing and reward charts but it changes nothing!

OK - firstly are the reading books she gets, phonic ones? (are the words in them ones she can sound out using the sounds she has learnt). They may not be (standard ORT aren't). If she is being given non-phonic reading books, this may be her way of "protesting" that she can't use her phonic skills to read the books she has been given.

If the books are phonic ones and appropriate for her, and she really is just messing about, then I might try the following. Explain to her that you are only going to spend 5 or 10 minutes reading (whatever time you think appropriate). You could set a kitchen timer. Tell her that if she messes around during that time, you aren't going to spend any extra time helping her but you will write in her reading record that she messed around instead of reading and she will have to explain this to her teacher! You could prime the teacher about this so she knows your cunning plan and will "have words" if appropriate. You may have to carry through on this once or twice but it is likely she will then get on with it I think as it sounds like she behaves well in school and has a desire to please the teacher. You could also add a sticker reward if she gets on without messing if you wanted it to be "carrot" as well as "stick"!

If you're getting frustrated and she's not interested, I would back off. Read the books to her, or let her pick out odd words or read alternating sentences with you. See if she wants to read signs/leaflets that come through the door/the back of cereal packets/anything instead. Go the library and get books that you think will enthuse her (or get her to pick).

When do you read with her? possibly a different time of day she might be more receptive?

It sounds like she is doing well and she's still young ... you really don't need to push hard at this stage.

Read the book through to her first, then read it with her, and if she gets stuck or frustrated just calmly say the word for her and go on to the next word. Otherwise they lose the sense of the meaning and story, and any pleasure. So do you!

Thanks for the great advice. She brings home a mixture of phonic and non phonic books. We have also had phonic books from the library but she is the same with all books! Also tried reading at different times of day and she remains the same. I like the idea of setting a timer and writing in her book as i think she would hate the teacher to think she has been messing about. I will definately give that a go.

My DD is the same, likes to do headstands during reading practise! Tried timer, sticker chart etc... she just doesn't seem to enjoy reading. i'm at a loss, talked to the school but made no progress.

DS2 in reception messes around when he reads with me, but I know he is doing fine in school. He messes for 2 reasons - generally because he has read the book in school first and is protesting (slightly) at having to read it again, or sometimes he is worrying after reading the book in school that it is a bit hard (usually after he has just gone up a reading level).
It might not work with your DD, and I guess it depends how she is messing, but I found with DS that if I let him mess with words he is confident about e.g. he now always reads Floppy as Flops, and Kipper as Kips (at home not at school) and often inserts a rhyming word for the one that is there, that he will read the book quite happily. He loves reading with lots of expression e.g. any exclamation mark he has to shout, his current book has different size texts before them so he shouts at different loudnesses depending on text size (we both sit there drawing in a bigger and bigger breath ready to shout, which he finds really funny), BUT when we get to a page with a new word, or where he has struggled before he has to read that page properly. If he starts to mess I remind him that the deal is when I say to read properly he has to read all the words as written.

I could have written your post dd1 fab loved sitting to practice reading, dd2 differnet ball game.

I have worked out that for best results we get to school early and read in the car. so she is fresh, contained and more focused!

It doesn't always work as sometimes there just isn't enough time but at least it helps a little.

Do you think a hands off approach could work? If you stop telling tell her to read for a bit? She is only in Reception and her teacher says she is doing okay,so I do not think a break at home will do any harm. Feign non-chalance for a bit-for your good and hers.

I agree with TheRoundTable; if she is doing fine at school, it seems best to give it a break at home. After all, sending reading books home didn't even happen before the 1970s.

Hi yellowparrot:

I also found with DD2 that reading at night was sometimes just too much at the end of the long day.

Agree with DorisIsWaiting - that reading in the morning may be a solution.

I decided to turn off the tv in the morning. We eat, get dressed and my DDs can colour/ play/ get organised as they chose. With DD2 - not every morning, but if she's looking cheerful, I ask if she'd like to read. I also give her the choice of school book or one of our books. We find that we get at least 3 reads in the school week and usually 1 or 2 at the weekend this way.

I've also taken advantage of e-books. For whatever reason DD2 prefers them. Bug club (if your school subscribes) is particularly good. But keep an eye on Mumsnet learning pages - they offered free e-books over Christmas, and may do so over Easter (fingers crossed - hopefully Pearson people are reading!).

Also don't forget sneaky reading. Magazines, comics and annuals - all have lots of reading as well as fun games and stories. My DD2 is very interested in moshi monsters - and their magazine is actually pretty good.

Just to add my dd was like this in yr r but has much improved in yr 1. I almost gave up reading with her last academic year as none of my strategies worked; this year she is bit older, more able to focus and we are getting on much better.

It worked! Thank you so much. I told her that i had to write how well she concentrated in her reading diary and she was 100% better and read the book in a few minutes. When she started to go off track i reminded her about the diary and that was enough to make her concentrate again. I really hope it carries on like this. I actually enjoyed her reading to me for the first time in ages.

I would agree with some of the PP that YR children are often tired in the evenings and concentration is a struggle especially as the term progresses. I find reading in the morning worked better with DS1 and judging by DS2 behaviour last night I think it might work better for him too.

The best tip I had was to tell my dc to nudge me when they wanted me to read, and to nudge me again when they wanted to have a go. Worked amazingly well with mine.