Don't know whether to go state or private for Reception - September 2012

[HappyAsEyeAm]

We have a nearly 4 yo DS (think PFB, but I am trying to move on!) who will start Reception in September 2012. I am also pg with baby number 2. DS currently goes to a lovely little pre-school, without a primary school attached.

We are toying between starting him in state school or private school. We have applied for both to keep our options open. We don't have experience of either school, as all of our friends have first born children the same age as him or younger, so nobody we can ask for first hand opinions really. We don't know any children going to either school. Both schools are within walking distance of our house.

State - 2 form entry for the past 10 years, so a fairly big school. Excellent results, and Ofsted rate it as Good with many Outstanding features. We went to an open morning and we were impressed by the facilities, indoors and out, the children were very personable and confident, lots of intersting activities going on there, very recent artwork etc on the walls. Very impressive overall. It is very oversubscribed, and there will be 30 children per class.

Private - Ofsted rate it as Outstanding, the facilities are better indoors (science lab, kitchens to do cookery in, amazing IT facilities), not as much outdoor space (but definitely still enough), maximum 20 children per class, impressive teaching staff and resources, I liked the headteacher very much, very happy children, lots of children going on to state grammars from there at 11.

The private school costs £9,500 a year for reception plus whatever extras the children are signed up for eg music lessons. We can afford to pay this, and we could afford it for baby number 2 in 5 years time too. We would have to make sacrifices (like cheap holidays and having one older car), but we could afford it. It would mean that our mortgage would take longer to pay off though.

I am horribly torn. DS is timid, sweet and sensitive. But he also loves other children, making friends and is very imaginative. My heart says that he will be far better suited to a small setting (smaller class size), but I also know that he has been protected from a lot of rough and tumble, and maybe he needs to learn to survive in a less sheltered environment.

I am also conscious that if we start him at private school, it would be more difficult to transfer him to the state school as it is so oversubscribed. But if he started at state school, I can't see the private school being so full as to turrn him away.

I can't seem to make a decision.

Hi

I am going to go against the grain here and see start with private if you can. DS also shy and sensitive and we started him at local prep, I work to pay fees. He loves it and has grown so much in confidence. Expectation is high, pupils behave well and being so shy and sensitive I feel he would have struggled in a class of 30. I think confident children will do well anywhere, its the others that seem to get lost in big classes.

Also, a shaky start to school can upset their confidence (perhaps because I had such a hard time at school I feel sensitive about it).The early years are so important and I often think of the saying 'give me a boy untill 7 and I'll show you the man.' Having said that, we do only have one child so it is easier and we are already saving for secondary.

The other thing is that ds joined in reception and didn't go to nusery, all the other pupils were way ahead in phonics and number recogintion, and so the school (and us) and to work hard to get him to catch up, that is only in reception and their was already a difference in learning.
A huge emotional decision and one that if you go private, is hard to transfer into state. I work at a state secondary, girls seem to do fine from private but many boys seem to struggle in adjusting. Good luck with your decision.

It's a good decision. You can use that money to provide other educational experiences for him as you go, and tutor if you need/want as time goes by. You get the best of both worlds this way if your local state school is one you like.

Personally in the current climate of government cut backs, I'd opt for private over state as I wouldn't want my child's education to be at risk of budget cuts.

The concern I have with the recommendations to go state and use money to tutor is that your child will not necessarily understand that he needs tutoring. You are basically asking a child to go to school ; do homework from school and then tutoring above and beyond that. If you feel that the state sector cannot provide to the level you require go private.

I had the same dilemma - I although it disadvantages us financially we did decide that it is unfair to ask a child to undergo extra tutoring because in retrospect we didn't choose the right school.

Would you be able to do a trial day at either? That might help you to decide. I think a big part of it is where where you and your DS feel happy and comfortable.

(Regarding later on I think, if you will go private at secondary, then you're better starting off at a prep school tbh. They have the experience of preparing for the entrance exams in your area, which a primary probably wouldn't. And of course, from a prep, your more likely to move to a senior private school with some of your classmates and friends.

In my experience, people who came to my secondary from state schools took a bit longer to settle in, because they weren't used to the amount of work/attitude. I don't know how to explain it, because that doesn't sound quite how I meant it! I mean prep girls were already used to 'juggling' homework, extra-curricular, vocab tests etc. BUT, it all evened out after a term or so.)

Sorry to hijack the thread but has anyone gone private for nursery and then changed to state school for reception? Any views? Thanks

stopthinkingsomuch. Some do at DD's school - maybe 1/3 of nursery class leave and go into state for reception.

Think depends on state school you want. If it has an attached pre school i'd opt for that. If children come from a wide variety of pre schools then no reason you can't use the private school pre school.

If your local state school is good, then why would you pay?

Our closest school is not catchment for us (borough boundaries) and our allocated school did not have good reports at all. We have gone private for 2 children and can afford it, but it is still a huge amount of money to pay each year (currently totals £30k... for both of them). If we could get a decent education for free instead of paying that amount then I would jump at it.

Aah, I see you've decided - that seems a sensible way to go for the moment. I hope he's very happy.

I had the same dilemma. I chose the oustanding state school. Within a term I realised it was like comparing apples and pears. I moved her private and i am pleased i did.

stopthinking - some (a minority, but a reasonably sizeable one) of the DC from the nursery class at DC's school go into local state primaries for Reception - seems to work fine from what I can gather.

wobblypig I have children being tutored in Maths and English. They don't need it in other subjects, so I'm saving a lot of money by just doing the subjects they need a push in.

They didn't need any tutoring till they were in their exam years.

Almostfifty - why do they tutoring and what do you tell them about why they need tutoring?

wobblypig They're having tutoring for their exams. One is doing Standard Grades so is being tutored in English as I don't think he'll do well with just the school. The elder one is doing Advanced Higher Maths and just wants a bit of a boost to try to get an A.

Their primary school was fabulous and they all came out very well from it. If they'd needed it, I'd have done extra work with them myself. I do know of people who've had their children tutored when they were at primary school, but I don't know how they've explained it to them.

:)

almostfifty - I would say that is a different circumstance than for instance the tutoring needed e.g for 11+ or common entrance or because the state school is not living up to expectation.I was tutored in maths and biopogy at A level for a brief time because I went to a poor/mediocre school and it was a lot to contend with and also made me feel like I was destined for fail my A levels becasue the teaching was so much better at other schools.

My parents couldn't afford private school so that was the next best option but OP's position sounds much more fortunate.

I also think it depends on the age wrt tutoring. Some feel it necessary to tkae kids along to Kumon etc after school / at weekends when they are 5 or 6. It just feels wrong to me .

wobbly It sounds like the school the OP has chosen is a good one, so hopefully there wouldn't be any need for tutors.

I agree that things like Kumon aren't the thing for little ones. When do they get time to play and be children?

I've four, and not one of them has needed such hot housing.