DD starting a new school next week - year 4 - any tips?

[Amaris]

That's it really, she might recognise a couple of children but she doesn't really know anyone as we have just moved. I'm looking for anything that has worked for anyone else, and any experience of how long it takes to settle in? She's been quite matter of fact up until now, but she's now saying she feels really nervous. She's generally good at making friends etc.

Thanks!

DS1 moved in the middle of year4, we moved areas, he didn't know anyone and it was to a big school from a small school.
She is bound to be nervous, anyone would be. DS was fine.
Just be supportive. I expect the school will get someone to look after her to start with.

My son is in year 4 and started his new school on Thursday.
He was really nervous and he had to have ahefty little shove to get him through the gates but he came out beaming.
He was treated like a shiny new toy in the playground, His teacher picked a boy with similar interests to show him round and that helped alot.

Thanks for the support! It's good to know that other people are going through it at the same time. I think what I'm wondering, though not quite sure why, is that she'll be a novelty for the first week or so, but then she might have a period just after that when the novelty wears off and she needs to establish herself into friendships groups.

I'm going to make sure I invite people round if she's friendly with them, and get involved with the school as far as I can to get to know other parents, and I know there are some girls her age on our street, which I'm always happy to have round. She will start dancing classes and hopefully Brownies to try to make some friends out of school too. She had very good friends though at her old school and I do occasionally think what have I done? Although I guess that should make me feel more confident that she can do it again.

We moved in January a few years back - DD in reception DS year 3 we were concerned about DD more as she was less outgoing than DS who had always been very popular - DD took to it like a duck to water, DS took longer to settle in, in fact it was awful as he was so unhappy and my heart bled for him - BUT it was only for a few weeks - it seemed like forever at the time - but he did eventually settle in just fine and you'd never know it now. I'm sure your DD will be fine but if not straight away know that it will be absolutely fine eventually and that you are doing all the right things to help her. Good luck.

When my daughter started school in Year Five, she found that the other girls were keen to label her and put her into one group or other. Everyone was vying to have her in their own clique.

I advised her to resist this, be nice to everybody and spread herself around while buying some time to decide on her allegiances. After a few weeks it may be a bit more clear who is nice and who is not. It'll be easier to associate with the kids she likes if she hasn't already been sucked into an opposing group.

She was also under pressure to declare a "best friend" within days but she ignored it and insisted that she liked lots of people and actually her closest friends were not at the school anyway!

Very sensible advice from Saracen.

Girls do seem to be much more ready than boys in my experience to do the group thing, so thanks saracen, I will remind her of that, and also clutteredup for the stuff about it will settle down eventually. We have been lodging with family for a few weeks between sale and purchase, and I keep having to remind myself that this too will end, and I know we have to go through a period of adjustment and at this stage difficult to know how long that will take.

I said to DD a couple of days ago that she could ask around to find out where girls go to Brownies, but she said that in the first few days you didn't ask questions, your role was to answer them, and didn't I know anything, so she clearly has some strategy for settling in! She hasn't mentioned it at all today so we are all remaining in denial for a few more hours!

You also have to remember that although it is uncommon for you, it is very common for a class to have new members arriving in the middle of the term. Your DD sounds level headed and even the most confident person imaginable would be nervous. I have gone to strange schools on supply and even as a teacher it makes you nervous if everyone and everything is strange to you and completely familiar to everyone else!
Come back and let us know how it went.

Will be without internet for a few days but will come back and update middle of the week, thanks! In the school that DD left there was very little movement in and out just because we lived in a settled suburban area - her class only had two new children since reception, so we don't have a lot of experience of it, which probably hasn't helped - though I think there will have been more movement in and out of this new school. Funny that the teacher might be more nervous than the kids though - there is a new headteacher!

An update, we're two days in and everything seems great! DD came out with a new best friend yesterday (I thought of your post saracen!) and today has invited another girl round for a playdate, so quick work! Exoticfruits we met the new head teacher on the morning we arrived so I pointed out to DD that he was probably more nervous than her, which helped me to think I was really hilarious. Don't know what I worried about really - thanks for the advice everyone!

fantastic - thanks for the update :o

Thanks for letting us know-I like a happy ending.