In your opinion - what's essential for children to be able to do BEFORE they start primary school?

[EggsOvaryZee]

DS starts September 2012.

Any ideas of what you think is essential/useful for me teaching him before he goes...?! Practical, emotional etc...

We are working more on dressing himself - can do bottom pants/trousers but nothing else.

Any other ideas?
Thanks

Nothing is essential. They won't turn your child away because he can't wipe his own nose properly. But there are things which help...

Dressing themselves including putting on outdoor clothes, zipping coats, shoes etc

Waiting turns, being patient, sharing etc and all those things which make a class of many a more pleasant place

Taking themselves to the toilet, wiping, washing hands etc

Asking for help and not being afraid to do so (we had a problem that dd wouldn't put up her hand and ask to use the loo in the first few days because she thought it 'wasn't allowed' and she had a couple of accidents)

Putting things in the right place ie purse back in your bag/tray after lunch. They'll practise this at school but it doesn't hurt to get them to tidy up their own toys in readiness

Using the loo independently and having confidence to tell a teacher they need to go.

And what soh said!

Oh and opening and accessing packed lunch items is encouraged or they might sit there without saying anything and not be able to get into whatever they have. So opening juice cartons or packets of raisins etc.

Good idea to practise changing into PE kit and opening/eating packed lunch if they haven't had them at nursery.

Dressing and eating with cutlery/managing packed lunch.

I also taught all three of mine to write their own names, purely because I thought it would be a useful skill and good for their confidence.

Buy school uniform, shoes and pe kit which are easy.

Maybe explain a few key words, like register and assembly, so they're not new.

And the toilet stuff others have mentioned.

Maybe practice going up to other children and saying" Hi. My name's..."

I agree to focus on the practical things. I also think it's useful if they can recognise their own name so they can see which peg/drawer/jumper is theirs.

in dressing themselves I'd include being able to dress themselves from clothes that are inside out and scrumpled into a ball (which is how they will end up when they are changing for PE :) )

We practised packed lunches in the week or 2 before the DC started school i.e. I gave them their lunch in their lunchboxes to see if they could independently eat them - you find out all sorts of things that you thought they could do that they actually struggle with. (opening yogurt pots was a problem here!).

I also think it's good to ask the child themselves if there is anything they are worrying about - with DS he wanted to know the "routine" was so he could mentally tick it off during the day, so I found this out and let him know - with DD she was worried that no one would play with her so I suggested friend making strategies e.g. saying "My name is X, what's your name, do you want to play with me?"

Identify their own stuff from a pile of similar stuff. If they don't recognise their own name (most probably don't at this age) you could use a symbol like a star alongside their name in their shoes, coat, hat, jumper. It could save you a small fortune in money/ hassle trying to locate their stuff.

If you're planing on sending with packed lunches how to open snacks/crisps and drinks. How to peel a banana etc.

What everyone else said :)

The main things they'll be expected to do are:

Get into their PE kit, and then back into their uniforms.

Eat their lunch without help.

Use the toilet by themselves.

Say good bye to you.

They also need to listen to adults and do what they're told. :)

I put a keyring on dd's bookbag and pe kit bag so that she could spot hers in a pile of identical bags without spending an hour reading each name. She could pick out the pink dinosaur and green turtle in a flash. That helped a lot with the getting her stuff together after pe scramble.

At least recognising their name is very helpful too. We played schools a lot before dd started and we did pretend registers and queueing for lunch and taking turns and putting up hands and all that sort of stuff. Also waiting to be allowed out by the teacher as it's hard for some children to see their Mum in the playground and not be allowed to rush straight out. Tell them they can wave/give thumbs up etc and ask them for other ideas of things they can do that involves waving, giving (non rude ) gestures etc so they can fill the time in the queue before doing the chasing across the playground at you, scarf flapping in the breeze thing.

Wipe own bottom. I will never forget the day when, as a very young teacher, a child backed out of the loo, her bare bottom exposed, and said "Am I clean?" I had no TA in those days and was completely thrown!
Plus all the other things people have said about getting changed for PE and choosing easy clothes so the child can manage independently.

Come on! This is Mumsnet! I would add to the list:

• Be a Free Reader (At the very least on lime level),
• Have a good knowledge of algebra
• Have completed Independent science investigations to show the teacher on the first day
• Be used to being told that reception is going to be boring because they can already do everything.

If you search there will be a few really long threads on this.

Good tips I got (DD now yr1) is the name everything -gloves, pots they take fruit in, shoes, pumps - the lot. You can get sticky labels that survive the dishwasher.

If you have a day out buy a few of those personalised keyrings in the gift shop for reading folder, pe bag, coat zip etc. Much easier for child to spot in a pile of identical bags.

Do check they can eat their packed lunch - if they always have food on a plate suddenly having things wrapped in clingfilm is hard. I personally use little pots for DD as she finds it easier (those tomee tippee weaning pots about the size of a yoghurt pot) so a pot of grapes, pot of cucumber.

Make sure you get all info you need before the school shuts for summer - uniform list, do they need fruit for a snack etc.

Do not leave uniform buying late especially if it has to come from school/authorised stockist.

If possible maybe go to any school events eg sports day, school fair so it is all a bit less stange for you both.

Don't stress if he can't fully dress/fold his clothes etc - that is what they practice in reception. I was so worried about DD as she has a disability (born without left arm). At first parents evening I was asking her teacher - and she reassured me DD was the best in the class - lots just stood there waiting to be dressed.

We also read a few starting school books - topsy and tim etc

Also check what intro arrangements are so a month of half days is not a shock (some schools seem to have widely different policies) and sort chilcare early if you need it - some aftercare/childminders have wait lists etc.

Not sure if this is something you can teach but I am a little worried that dd2 will be the last one sitting at the table eating her lunch every day - at the moment it usually takes her about 45 minutes to eat every meal, so I would like her to be able to eat a little faster before September.....

With DS2, we settled for breathing and walking.

I'll add something to all the above good advice - but they're not essential at all, just perhaps useful to know.

DCs nanny used to be a primary school teacher and she told me about some of the things Reception class teachers are looking out for when children start, which helps them place the children on the right table/ ability group.

One thing was being able to use scissors - it shows good manual dexterity, useful for writing skills, apparently. Another thing was being able to make a good stab at writing their own name, even if they couldn't write the other letters of the alphabet, and also being able to count up to 20 but also back from 10.

Sure enough, the second day that DC1 started school the teacher commented completely out of the blue on how good he'd been doing crafts and using scissors - so it seems it was something they were on the look out for.

I'm sure a Reception teacher will be along in a minute to tell me how that's not true at all

Not essential but desired:

• be able to put own coat, hat, gloves on with minimal assistance
• be able to go to the toilet independently, inc wiping bottom and washing hands
• be confident to ask to go to the toilet
• to practise putting socks and shoes on - only use laces if they can tie them!
• to be able to change in and out of PE clothes
• to be able to eat using cutlery
• if having packed lunch, to be able to access food items from their packaging
• to follow simple instructions
• to recognise their own name written down (and write it if at all possible)
• to be able to share with other children, and ideally to be able to play nicely with other children
• to know not to hit/kick/bite/pull hair (obviously some will do it anyway, but actually understanding it isn't the right choice is important)
• to have used pencils/crayons/glue/scissors before
• to have been shown how to put their hand up to say something and to wait for their turn to do so
• to listen to others

Obviously if there are learning delays/special needs this list would vary massively. But in that case - making sure the teacher knows, don't rely on schools having passed information on sadly - a parent thing though, not a child thing.

DD's school gave us a list of stuff to work on over the summer before she started:
Using knife & fork when eating (she's school dinners though we'd done lunch club with pack ups at preschool)
Going to the loo independently
Recognising own name and writing it if possible
Putting coat & shoes on independently (indeed she now has a certificate from the teacher saying she can do this, she's very proud :o )

That was about it - anything else they considered a bonus tbh.

Make sure you tell them they'll be going every day, not just one: dd was most perturbed when she felt she had done the school thing after a day. Was not impressed when she realised

DD won't be going through all this till Sept 2013, but seeing these posts is making me realise how little they all still are when they start school. I'm not normally sappy like this, but it's making me feel a bit teary. I should say, DD goes to nursery three days a week from 8-6 and loves it (and I work full time), so it's not as if she's never left my side, but this all seems so much more grown up!

I think most kids have been at some sort of pre-school/nursery setting before school and most of these settings give good introduction to expectations of school. Bit waffly, but basically it felt like a natural progression rather than a "now you are starting school so you must be able to....!"

I would say it is different for them and you going all day everday so watch out for this change affecting them (and you ), also the toilet thing re wiping bottom is more of an issue when going all day everyday- think it's important they know it's their responsibility and they feel happy doing this, the actual skill will improve with time........

Other than that the biggest "problem" DS had was the change in how lunchtimes worked in reception compared with nursery (same site primary school). In Reception they were with the older kids and the dinner ladies were looking after them, there were procedures they were expected to follow when finishing lunch etc but clearly it was all a bit much for quite a few of them in the first couple of weeks and caused distress. They all settle but would have been something the school could possibly have done better. When DD starts I will explain it to her, forewarned is forearmed to a certain degree .

I'm so glad dd1's reception teacher didn't think she was thick because she couldn't use scissors!!