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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

1st choice place has come up!!!

19 replies

Sofiamum · 05/01/2012 17:50

My dd is in reception. She got offered our 3rd choice, we were 33rd on the waiting list for our 1st choice. I got a phone call today saying that there is a place for her if we still want it. Have to let them know by tomorrow.

My dd is very happy at her current school, she loves it. The school got a good ofsted. According to some people it's a rough school but we've had no problems with bullying/behaviour/etc.

The other school is outstanding and in a more affluent area and it was our first choice because my dd had some friends going there and we thought at the time was the better school for her.

Now, we're just confused and don't know what to do. Have any of you been in a similar situation? What did you do? Or what would you do if you were?

Thank you so much.

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Iamnotminterested · 05/01/2012 18:02

Stay Put.

2BoysTooLoud · 05/01/2012 18:05

Is the school she is in more local and convenient? If she is happy I would let her stay rather than unsettle her.

Moomoomie · 05/01/2012 18:14

I think you have got to think long term here, tbh there should not be bullying etc in Reception, so that is a difficult one.
How would you feel about her walking to school on her own when she is older?
Is she still friends with the children at the school you wanted first?
Which school is more convenient for you?

FurryFox · 05/01/2012 18:18

We were in a similar position and decided to stay put. DD is now in yr 2, very very happy, some lovely friends. We like the school, her teacher this year is just fab but also year 1 teacher was great equally. She's doing very well and is settled and we are glad we stayed put but everyones situation is different.

Original poster

Sofiamum · 05/01/2012 18:24

The school she is in now is more covenient for me. It's 20minutes walk from our house and only 10 minutes walk from my work. The other school is 30minutes walk from our house and not near my work. The current school has got great breakfast and afterschool clubs, which we use on the days that I work.

I would be happy for her to walk to either of the schools. I'm still friends with the mums but she is not friends with them anymore.

Do you think things might change in year 1? Is that when I'll regret not changing to the "better" school?

OP posts:

Moomoomie · 05/01/2012 18:39

It is a tough call.
Whatever you decide to do, stick with it and don't beat yourself up if things are not going right.
Have you spoken to your friends at the other school? Are they happy with the school. What is the communication like between home and school, how approachable are the staff?

PollyMorfic · 05/01/2012 18:58

If you like the current school (regardless of it not having been your first choice), your child is happy and doing well, it is convenient for your work and home, and has after-school childcare, then you would be taking a big risk to give all that up for a school which may look better on paper but is actually an unknown quantity. Bear in mind that ofsted reports are not a good reflection of what the school is actually like, and she may not easily slot back in with her former friends.

If the current school is working well for her now, there's no reason to assume it will all suddenly go wrong in Y1, surely? And if in a few years' time problems do develop, then places will still come up in alternative schools if you still want to change then.

Honestly, some popular m/c schools manage to build an aura around them which leads people to think that this school alone is the holy grail of education and everywhere else is full of feral children and chain-smoking staff. You've seen for yourself that that isn't true, so why switch now if there isn't a problem? If anything, schools that are not the local honeypot school are much more likely to be prepared to deal with problems if they arise - some very popular schools can get a bit arrogant and have an attitude of, "Well if you don't like it, you know where the door is."

I really can't see why you'd want to try and fix something that isn't broken. And FWIW we have twice turned down places at a nearby school which people sell their grandmothers/move house/fake addresses etc for in favour of a scruffier and barely oversubscribed school that has real heart and warmth. The former school is the league-table topper, with its intake of white m/c children of professional parents from the catchment of £1M+ houses. Ours is a few notches lower in the tables but has an intake which mainly consist of kids off the local estates and a few random m/c kids of slightly left-field parents who didn't like the first school: which school is actually doing a better job, bearing in mind the raw material?

MigratingCoconutsInTheNewYear · 05/01/2012 19:20

I think you should stay too. But if you do, you need to be certain of your choice and not be looking over your shoulder each time there is a flat point at your current school. That's just going to torture you!

No school is perfect all of the time but if she is generally happy and making good progress then all is well

chocolatespiders · 05/01/2012 19:25

This happened to my dd when she was 5 (14 now) I decided to stay put, the school wasnt the nearest and the school was also in what is deemed a rough area but the teaching standards were top class.
DD2 went to the more local ofsted outstanding school and in hindsight i wish dd2 had also gone to the other school as I think it would have suited her better. If dd 1 had of still been there she would have but dd1 was allready at middle school

CecilyP · 05/01/2012 19:44

I would be inclined to stay put as well. The school that wasn't really your choice has not only turned out OK for your DD, but she actually loves it. It may have a reputation for being rough but you now know that the majority of children are not rough. You also have the advantage of the current school being more local and providing breakfast and after school clubs which fit in with your work pattern. I agree with moomoomie that whatever you decide to do, you should stick with it and don't look back.

3duracellbunnies · 05/01/2012 19:46

If you do decide to move her she probably won't really remember her current school in a few years, and some reception children start in jan anyway, plus she will be a novelty. Three children have joined dd's class since r (now yr 2); and they all seemed to integrate v quickly. Having said that your current school sounds convienient and she seems happy. Do you know anyone with children in juniors? Do the parents seem nice? If so then maybe you would be better staying where you are.

jamdonut · 05/01/2012 19:56

If she's happy , leave her where she is. Or do you somehow feel you are not doing your best for her if she doesn't go to the "outstanding" school ? I would say if it is more convenient for home and work, regardless of the area it is considered to be in, that HAS to be better for both of you. Why put yourselves through all the upheaval, emotional and otherwise, if everything is ok? Who is to say that the "outstanding " school may only be deemed "good" at its next OFSTED, and the school you are in now may have become outstanding?

MrsJAlfredPrufrock · 06/01/2012 09:01

I would leave her. There is a thread kicking about on Mumsnet about ofsted Outstanding schools. They are very often not outstanding. Read it.

Your child is happy, the school is convenient, it all sounds ideal. It might be hard for her to leave her friends and attempt to penetrate established friendship groups at a new school. The fact that you are now being offered the place after being so low down the waiting list means others don't want it. You are only considering it because you remember the feelings of disappointment when you didn't get it, not because you really want it.

StealthPolarBear · 06/01/2012 09:18

What have you decided op?

TheOldestCat · 06/01/2012 09:25

The same happened to us - we got our third choice, and then were offered our second choice school once DD had settled happily in reception. DD's school (third choice) is also apparently 'rougher' while second-choice school is more sought after and 'academic' long term (everyone passes the 11+ apparently etc etc).

But we're sticking with her current school. She loves it and is thriving. The new head is taking the school places and has made loads of positive changes in his first year. It's not perfect, but it's a happy place and DD is doing well.

I wouldn't swap her, even if a place came up at what was our first choice, but wouldn't be knowing what we know now. Have I got enough knows/nows in that sentence?

Will we regret it in later years? I don't know. But I'm sure we're doing the right thing for the short term and mostly sure it's the correct choice long term. We'll see!

Good luck.

Hullygully · 06/01/2012 09:28

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Children being happy where they are far far outweighs anything else. Unless you like nights lying awake churning with anxiety.

TuftyFinch · 06/01/2012 09:43

I wouldn't move her if she is happy. I completely agree with Hully. If she's happy she will learn. I would place pastoral care over Ofsted grade and place in league tables every time.

Original poster

Sofiamum · 06/01/2012 21:37

Well, we rang our first choice school this morning and declined their offer. We have decided to keep dd at our third choice school, because she is happy. Surely that is the most imprortant thing at this stage. She is also making progress and has a couple of good friends. So I guess you were all right, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". Thanks. xxx

OP posts:

MigratingCoconuts · 07/01/2012 09:02

good news!

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