Y1 child under stress

[RoxanaB]

Hello everyone,

I need your opinions on how to deal with a situation my DD is confronted at school.

She is in Y1, she is in a phonics group, very good at maths and reading but not so good at letters formation/size.

We started exercising with her at home and in our opinion the size of the letters is smaller but it isn?t good enough in the opinion of the teacher. We attended a writing day at school and we discovered that my DD?s teacher has a terrible handwriting, letters are not equal size and not all positioned on the same line, etc ? so, not a good example for DD if you ask me.

However, during this winter holidays when exercising writing, my DD told me that when she asked the teacher to check her writing, obviously my DD was proud of her progress, she was told by the teacher that ?I am getting fed up with your writing?!!!!!!

My daughter doesn?t lie and when I asked if this is true and that I will discuss the above with the teacher tomorrow she asked me if I could send her an email today :)

This writing issue puts her under unnecessary stress as she cannot get into the ?Gold Book?. Basically every week or so, the child that is doing very well in all areas - reading, writing, maths, attendance, being kind with each other, etc get his/her name in the Gold Book and gets a certificate.

My DD ticks all the boxes except the writing. Every time we discuss about this she is said and worried that she will never have her name in there. Other children in her class, one girl in particular, teases her about not getting into the gold book and this seems to me like bullying.

DD does not want to exercise writing at home any more and honestly I see that all our efforts at home are futile as she is not getting any support from her teacher. I?ve been told by other parents that the teacher looses her temper and starts shouting at them so I strongly believe that she made the affirmation above about my DD?s writing.

I would like to talk to the teacher about her affirmation and other children teasing my DD and also about putting the child under unnecessary stress, as this gold book is not an exam after all. I have never ever told my child that I am fed up with what she is doing so I don?t believe a teacher has the right to say that.

Do you think I am too sensitive about this issue? Do you believe I am unreasonable if I would like to discuss this with the teacher? What would you do?

I forgot to say that English is not native language for me but it is for my DD as she was born and raised here. Maybe the teacher affirmation is not as strong as it looks, so please just let me know if I am wrong.

So, to get a certificate, they have to be good at everything? What a terrible way to motivate 5 and 6 year olds ! Your daughter should be being praised for the things that she is good at, not being made to feel terrible about her handwriting. And if it's truly below standard, she should be getting help at school, not criticism.

I've just been through my 9yo's old school books. When she was in year 1, her writing was absolutely ENORMOUS and fairly scruffy. Now it's very small, very neat and easy to read. There's been no stress or extra practice involved - she just grew up a few years.

In other words, no, I don't think you are being over-sensitive. But I think your daughter's teacher sounds highly insensitive and not very kind. I'm not sure what you do about that .

Thanks - AChickenCalledKorma

We decided to speak to the teacher tomorrow to see how she explains her statement.

This is the problem with rewarding children and segregating them with stuff like a gold book! Is this the best learning environment for your child? ask the teacher what she is doing to help and so that you can mirror her steps at home (cough cough!). What exactly is she doing, techniques she uses etc
Life and success is NOT about neat handwriting! (some educationalists argue that this is actually becoming defunct in an age of technology.) celebrate what she is good at and explain that everyone struggles with some things (check out Howard Gardener's Multiple Intelligences and see if that throws her at the next parents evening!). This is her LEARNING CHALLENGE whereas other children will have other learning challenges. Sad story and I hope she continues to be creative and inventive and that she isnt turned of learning at such a young age.

If you really want to blow her idea of the GOLD Book read Alfie Kohn!

Any luck today?