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Original poster

Just wanting your opinions on this game please?

20 replies

PippiLongBottom · 21/12/2011 23:19

Dd is 9 and in year 5. It was their Christmas party today and apparently they had played a game that she didn't like. It was a bit like musical chairs and the boys were sitting in a circle and then when the music stopped the girls had to sit on the boys laps. Dd said that she and her friends didn't like it. What do you think?

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RosemaryandThyme · 21/12/2011 23:27

I wouldn't have wanted to play this at 9 (maybe OK at 4), I also wouldn't be keen on my daughter being coaxed into any game she wasn't keen on.

Probably utterly harmless but I would use this as an oppotunity to build her defences against pressure, including pressure from authority figures.

Original poster
PippiLongBottom · 21/12/2011 23:32

This may or may not have any bearing on your answer but the teacher is male.

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RosemaryandThyme · 21/12/2011 23:42

ummm yeah, fealing potenitally creepy - I wouldn't rush into school but I would be quizzing my daughter - were there other adults around during the game? could she draw a room plan of where each person was from memory? I'd be jogging her memory as to what music was playing to get a feel for how long game lasted, names of others friends who didn't like it, asking if she made it clear to teacher she was unwilling to play etc, then go from there.

LEttletownofBOFlehem · 21/12/2011 23:51

Musical Bumps. I remember it from school. It wasn't necessarily girls on boys' knees though, could be either. Worth saying that you think it's not what you'd expect though, as you are uncomfortable.

Prolesworth · 21/12/2011 23:54

It's creepy and totally inappropriate. I mean, why separate the children by sex like that and get the girls to sit on the boys' laps? Creepy.

EleanorRathbone · 22/12/2011 00:02

What?

That is fucking creepy

Sorry am wierded out by that, that's an instant gut reaction. I will ask my dd (9) tomorrow, how she would feel about that game and report back.

HoneyandHaycorns · 22/12/2011 01:06

I think the fact that your dd was uncomfortable about this game is reason enough to mention it to the teacher - regardless of what you or I might think. I do think they are getting a bit old for stuff like this, and the teacher ought to be aware that it makes some kids feel awkward.

sashh · 22/12/2011 02:23

Musicle bumps is when you sit on the floor.

I can remember this from school (girls on boys) but I don't think it was my class.

I don't think it is appropriate on so many levels

sexualisation of children
gender stereotyping
or even just WTF

pizzatheaction · 22/12/2011 02:45

i'm going with wtf.

ds1 is that age and he would just have thought it was a hilarious game (he wouldn't have picked up on the segregation and specific gendered activities, just that they were 'the rules'.)
but that's what's so insidious.
he would have assumed it was all fine and dandy, and i don't really want him being taught at 9 that all he has to do is sit around and when the music stops a girl will land in his lap. it is a bit creepy.

Original poster
PippiLongBottom · 22/12/2011 07:31

It's the last day today so should I say something? In person? To the head?

I'm so glad you all think 'WTF?' that was my first reaction. I just glossed over it with dd. There is a female teaching assistant I will check if she was present.

Weird.

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gorionine · 22/12/2011 07:47

I agree it is a bit creepy.

I remember once DD1 who was 9 at the time, went for a "drama tester session" and came back saying that she would never go there again because one of the exercise involved walking in the hall with the drama teacher (male) standing in the middle of it and when they were close to him they had to say "I love you" in different tones or funny voices to him. Made her feel very uncomfortable. I thought it was really inappropriate too.

IndigoBell · 22/12/2011 08:10

I would not be happy with that, and I'm fairly laid back.

And if my DD wanted to sit in a boys lap any other time I wouldn't allow it.

mrz · 22/12/2011 08:17

I think any game that makes the players uncomfortable shouldn't be played ... was it compulsory to join in?

Original poster
PippiLongBottom · 22/12/2011 08:31

I have more info: It was a young female teacher that instigated it (joint year 5 & 6 party) and firstly it was supposed to be year 6 boys and year 5 girls but the girls refused so they changed it to year 5 boys. Yes, it was compulsory.

Am making a phone appointment with the deputy head for after school.

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Original poster
PippiLongBottom · 22/12/2011 10:13

Good news! The deputy head has just rang me back and was aware of the game having been played yesterday. He said that the two teachers concerned had been discussing it after the event and weren't really sure of its success and given that I had told him how uncomfortable the children were it will not be played again. Result.

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StewieGriffinsMom · 22/12/2011 10:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontletthebellsend · 22/12/2011 10:52

My 8yo ds would have been mortified by that.

breadandbutterfly · 22/12/2011 10:52

Yeuuuch. Definitely inappropriate.

NotJustForClassic · 22/12/2011 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flippinada · 22/12/2011 20:22

Yuck yes that is really inappropriate! Glad they aren't doing it again.

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