Should I email the teacher?

[MollieO]

Not sure if I'm being a bit PFB so need a bit of perspective.

Ds got his school report last week. Yr 3. First time he had effort grades. Mostly fine or as we were expecting (eg C for games - ds hates it with a passion).

He somewhat unexpectedly got a C for music. The comment from the head teacher mentioned it was a disappointment and unexpected. The music teacher said he is a very musical child, did very well playing an instrument but she would like to see him in the school choir (he has an exceptional singing voice).

I'm wondering if he has been marked down because he refuses to join the choir (he tried it at the start of term, hated it and refused to go back). He sings in the church choir (admission by audition - he was the youngest boy ever to be admitted). He loves it and is happy to attend two choir practices a week plus Sunday service (every Sunday during term time so a real commitment and he misses other activities to attend).

As this is something he does outside school his music teacher wouldn't know anything about it (he would never mention what he does outside school in school).

Should I say something or let it go? I walked into church tonight to collect ds from extra choir practice (they have a service on Christmas Day) and I heard him singing. It was so lovely that it made me feel really about his report.

But it is worth worrying about if he is distracting the rest of the class.

Chicken I think you've hit the nail on the head. He won't make an effort where he sees there is no reason to. He got Bs in subjects where I would have expected As (at parents' evening the teacher said he was vg at science and maths and very enthusiastic). I reckon his distracted/distracting behaviour got him marked down.

I wrote a long email to the music teacher and cc to the head and included a link to the parish music diary (so she could see the music ds is doing over the next couple of weeks). I didn't send it as the more I thought about it the more PFB I thought I was .

I will let things lie and try to see the music teacher at parents' evening. He is due to audition at a choir school next term and it is becoming more and more apparent that he would be very happy there if he were lucky enough to gain a place.

Rather than worrying about his c grade for effort in one subject I think I would be more concerned that he is easily distracted in all lessons.

That is certainly worth talking to the teacher about.

From what I can gather he distracts another boy and that other boy distracts him. New boy in his class and fortunately they are no longer sitting together. Ds complains the other boy gets him into trouble. I've told ds he is old enough to ensure that others don't distract him and he must ensure he doesn't distract others.

Usually he gets a small reward for a good report. He hasn't this term as I didn't think it was good enough. I fully agree about rewarding effort not achievement.

He regularly gets all his spellings right even though he refuses to sit and learn them. I don't think that is acceptable behaviour but of course he is rewarded at school for doing well in tests (his teacher complained that he is 'one of those children that does very well in tests' when he seemingly hasn't been paying attention). Tricky one to resolve.

I had hoped the work level would step up in year 3 and ds would find it more interesting but so far that hasn't happened.

cece I think he is bored with the work. Difficult to say to the teacher that he finds her lessons boring. When he tells me about a topic that interests him I ask him where he learnt about it and he will always say he read it, saw a programme on it, read it on the internet. He never ever talks about school topics.

Sounds similar to my DS1. He is also Y3 and was distracting others and getting into trouble - in particular Maths which is his thing.

I had a meeting with the teacher and did tell her that I was surprised to hear he was in toruble in Maths as he usually loves it. I think she hadn't realised how good he was at it and so was giving him the same work as the rest of the class. Now he gets work set at his own level and she keeps telling me how happy she is with his behaviour.

Difficult. Ds is one of those children who needs a spark. He did an art course in the summer which completely inspired him. The art teacher loved him and said how focussed he was all day every day. So much so that she insisted he did the next course this holiday even though it was targetted at an older age group (and the school holiday club said he couldn't do it). Same in choir. Just nothing, so far, at school. I did say to his teacher that if she sparked his interest he would be her most attentive and interested pupil but if she didn't I reckon he'd be a nightmare to teach. Unfortunately it seems to be the latter at present.

What happens if their behaviour isn't satisfactory? Do they not get a grade?
There must be children (at least in theory) who are not satisfactory unless the level is set very low.

With the comments C sounds perfectly reasonable grading. If the comments are consistant it could be the others are being generous rather than music being mean (just to be play devil's advocate). It could be that she has a poor view of him for giving up choir and that has coloured her assessment, or it could be that she generally assesses lower than other teachers.

I'd suspect that as the Head has commented on it particularly he may well have asked her about it and is trying to let you know that he feels it is something that needs to be pulled up on.

Grades go D below average (insufficient effort) and E poor (little or not effort).

I'll see what next term brings. I doubt the music teacher even knows ds tried the choir. He only went the first week and she was a new teacher to the school so wouldn't have known any of the pupils at that stage.

as a teacher, reading the report, I think the messing about is the cause of the mark to be honest. he is not settling down and getting on with work and is distracting others. that is the source of the problem, not the choir. he needs to learn to sit down and get on with what he is suppposed to be doing and let everybody else get on with learning too.

I've since found out that she has problems with other children in both the yr 3 classes she teaches so probably more to do with her being new and not sufficiently strict.

Not much I can do about ds's behaviour when he doesn't replicate it in other similar settings, eg church choir. He knows he should behave but if he's bored and uninterested it is hard to pay attention. I can't do it and I'm considerably older than 7!

'distracting' = PITA.

You need to be concerned that he isn't behaving himself, and not worry about this choir red herring.

So a C is in the middle ie he falls in the 3rd 20% for effort. How many in the class , 20? There will be others (perhaps 8 or so on that basis) who are more enthusiastic and readily get on with the lesson. Given his reluctance to join the choir and participate in her choice of music he may lack a rapport with the music teacher and this reflects it , talent alone not being enough - that's life I'm afraid. In fact there are some rather similar in dd's year who when they choose to apply themselves can excel and be engaging, but when not can be disruptive influences.

15 in his class.

I'm sure he is a pita for teachers but I expect them to make an effort to engage him. It works both ways. I remember the teachers that inspired and engaged me and I also remember the ones that didn't and those lessons that I thought would never end.

classic excusing poor behaviour.

Agree it works both ways but maybe he is particularly stubborn with her and she feels frustrated. He evidently doesn't readily demonstrate his enthusiasm for music to her and bearing in mind that is a rather important element of performing arts, perhaps that is something he needs to work on.

Loopy I completely agree but what do I do with a child who is so focused and engaged in similar settings but not with her in her lessons? The only difference between both settings is the teacher.

Bollock him and make sure he knows that, whatever the teacher is like, it is not acceptable to mess around. Ask the teacher to keep in contact regularly with updates. He needs to learn that not everything in life is fun/inspiring.

And you said the 'distracted/ing' was a common theme throughout the report? He needs to learn some manners.

Believe me I have. We've had words about it and I've told him that anything less than an A grade is not acceptable. He usually gets a treat for a good school report. He got nothing for this. School mum friends think I'm too hard on him but he needs to understand that effort is key, not achievement.

None of that changes the fact that he is bored. I don't know about you but I'm in my 40s and struggle to stay focused when I'm bored. However, being in my 40s I tend to just switch off. If I were 7 I'd no doubt be doing the same as him.

I do think it is a teacher's job to engage her class and if she is struggling to do so in such a small class teaching a subject that is supposed to be fun then it doesn't bode well for the rest of the academic year.

I wonder if it is partially due to the teacher being new.
At my children's school, effort is graded A-D, A= excellent, B= good, C= satisfactory, D= improvement required. A is very rarely awarded, and children who are focused and working well still get Cs for effort, which acceptable. Does she come from a particularly academically driven school previously?

So is this a private school? Is this a case of paying for something that you are not happy with?
If it is a state school I would just wait until the start of term and pop in to discuss. If you have opted out and are paying 'because you think it is better' I would email my concerns.

It's private but ds is only there because local schools offer no wraparound care and I have to work.

I think I will just wait and see how things go and encourage ds in his out of school singing .

:)

but if he behaves like this in a subject he knows he can easily do well in then he should learn to capitalise on his strengths to compensate for those lessons he is weaker in and demonstrate his skill. iirc you are looking for a musical environment for him at his next school, even a music scholarship, and he/you will need to get the teacher onside with his ambition. She evidently hasn't given up on him yet so there is time for his to display his enthusiasm and talent. Music scholars are normally expected to throw themselves into all manner of musical activites including a choir. However he needs to recognise that sometimes it won't be music and groups of his choice and learn to treat them with equal respect and discipline.