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Feeling sad at break/lunch time

3 replies

mummyosaurus · 14/12/2011 06:53

DD is 6 1/2, yr 2, so quite young in her year.

She has made friends in her class well, and although the girls have sort of gone into 2 groups (older and younger girls), they are all quite nice and DD is friendly with all. She doesn't have a "best friend" particularly.

She is more friendly with the younger group, particularly 2 girls (whose mum's I am friendly with). These 2 girls really hit it off and like doing the same things.

DD has been saying to me for a little while that she feels sad and can't say why. Last night at bed time she told me it's because she doesn't have a special friend and at breaktimes, she listens to everyone else ideas and play them, but they will never listen to her ideas.

Now, I know that is probably not quite true, most little girls like to be "boss" and DD is no exception. She has to learn she can't be in charge all the time. But I can't help it, I now have a sinking, sad feeling thinking about her when she's at school.

I have done lots of work with her, about taking turns and listening to others ideas (she has a DS almost 5 yrs), I think she gets that. She is quite sensitive. Perhaps I should say to her she has to be patience and wait for her friends to get the idea about being what a good friend means.

Any other ideas what I could say to her? Any magic advice on what to do? I know she has to work this out, but it's so horrible not being able to wade in and sort out all her problems. WWYD?

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fuzzypeach1750 · 14/12/2011 07:13

No magic advice but I sympathise. My DD has just turned 7, also yr 2, and has been finding the same. Shed normally such a strong confident girl but this has made her so sad Sad it's awful to listen to and feel utterly helpless about. I've found that lots and lots of home for tea has started to work for us. Even children she's not mad about. It's all about helping her to widen her social circle but these things do come in time. Smile

moonwalk · 14/12/2011 13:04

not there quite yet with my kids, but I understand that you want to wade in and sort this out.

i have some thoughts though:

  • some schools have buddy systems, making sure every child has a buddy to play with during break time (while i understand that your DD is friendly and hangs out with the two other girls maybe it would be good to mix up the friendship groups while they are so young, from the official school side)
  • you write that your daughter is friendly with the girls whose Mum's you are friendly with, so maybe it is time for you to make more friends with all the other Mums, that way your daughter might copy you
  • i totally empathise because when i was that age, i lots of issues with my group of girlfriends, but in the grand scheme of things these issues helped me grow an i am all the happier for it now :-)
  • maybe find some new friends/activities outside school, that way relationships in class don't become the "be all and end all"

hope this helps, hugs ;-)

mummyosaurus · 14/12/2011 18:32

Thank you ladies.

I have made some arrangements to meet up with a little girl DD was friendly with in year 1 over Christmas.

They had rainy day play inside today, so she is happier.

Moon walk, I think I know what you mean and I have confidence that DD will come through fine. I am comforted.

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