which school do i choose?

[crazygal]

hello everyone,
i was on here not long ago and got great advice,thank you!
i seen a post on here recently that ive been watching thats similar,
but i thought my choice was made,end of!
but then you here people give you there perpective on thing and you end up very confused......

ds moves to middle school next yr,ive a choice of 2 schools,same distance apart,oppisit directions,
the 1st school,i had pretty much decided that altho,id heard it was a good school,he probably wont go there,as ds has had a bad year so far,and is seemly getting worse behaviour wise,(ds is adhd)
plus this school is next door to the 1st school hes at now,and ds has a terrible name there :( plus ive had 4 parent complain about him hitting there kids......

i went to this schools open eve and it seemed very large,very professonal,very friendly,with lots of after school activities etc,i spoke to the ht that eve about ds,and he really didnt answer alot of my concerns,
that school has 1 ta in each class in the mornings only.

the other school,again was lovely,very friendly,alittle smaller with similar stuff to the other school,the difference was they seemed alittle more set up for kids with sn,
they had adhd toys,they had special time out rooms if children are stuggling,they have 1 ta in each class all day
i was more impressed,i thought they will know how to deal with ds
at the open eve at this school told me they have 17 statemented children and more then that that are not,its a school of 230 children.
that didnt bother me at all,it just made me think this is right as they must know how to deal with sn

im going to see both schools again myself on tuesday,
last nite when i was out my friend who live next to the 2nd school didnt send her ds there,i asked why?she said she hears theres lots of bullying there,and altho her ds is also adhd,she felt they foucused to much on the sn children,and thatthey have to many areas of the school for "struggling" children,eg:thinking room,the"stream" room,time out rooms etc,she felt they must have big problems to have all that in there,
my other friend whos ds is as then said she felt the same about that school.and thats why hers didnt go there....

mmmm so confused now...
ive had lots of chats with the ht of ds school hes in now,but havent discussed schools,shes assumed ds is going next door and prewarned me that hes highly likely to be sent to the short stay school if he goes next door,
thats a behavior school........
oh......dont know what to do,
thanks for reading this looooooong post,xxxxxxxxx

bump x

Ask to speak to the head of the second school and ask them about bullying and SN again. It does sound like they would be better geared up from you son and that he would also benefit from having a fresh start. Don't worry too much about other peoples decisions you have to do what's right for your son.

yes that just what my husband said!
im going to see the head later,ill have a chat then,but you know,sometimes people make you rethink! when we were pretty made up about the 2nd one!
im so focused on making the right choice,
thank you,

I hope the head is able to reassure you. It's hard as you want to do the right thing and you can't know for sure until DS starts. Try not to let other people influence you too much - they are probably trying to justify their own decisions in the minds.

I wonder how is the Ofsted report and KS2 results for the 2nd school? One of my school choices has a large number of SEN pupils, and I have seen them in separate areas during the open day visit, but eventually Ofsted report is brilliant and KS2 results are above National average. If they have resources to focus on SN that's great, I think.
Bullying seems more of a problem but make sure you clarify with HT if there is really such problem.

went to see the 2nd school today and as i remembered it was lovely,
the ht showed me around and told me again about the school,i found her very warming,
in the office i told her of my ds problems,she seemed very interested in trying to help,and told me of there "chill" out rooms where they can go to talk to a pastoral teacher about whats happened etc,
she told me they are in close contact with an autism group that come in to help the teachers,and give advice,
thety are also in contact with a local "short stay school" thats for children with behaviour probs, they also give advise to them,
i asked about bullying,she said,theres always people spreading rumors,and all i can say is that anything like that is dealt with,we talk to parents etc.
she then moved onto another subject..
the ofstead report is good,and it said they need to bring the childrens writing up to scratch,and that the majority by leaving that school are average,and those who started there below average,leave as average,
the 1st school was similar,probably a tad better ofstead on the average bit.
hope ive made sense there!

I always find it "interesting" when parents have such good knowledge of schools their children don't even attend. So I'd personally ignore any such hearsay.

I think in your heart you want to send your child to school 2 and your reasons for wanting that are good ones.

thank you redsky,
and thats true,there children dont go there,
but they also made me think,have i missed something! and you know i havent,my son needs a new start,it going to be hard for him to go there as none of his class will be going to that school,its hard,
the ht told me there will always be a 1-1 around if he needs it,and that there is a high percentage of statement children there,and they dont need them every hr,so some time can be given to ds if he needs it,

the other school have 1-1s but only in the mornings,and that worries me,im waiting to see that one again,it was canceled today,im hoping to see it this week,
and i know they send behaviour prob children to the short stay school,which apparently is an amazing school!
but no garentee he will be sent there either,
mmmm i will know by the end of this week what im to do,x

That's good that you still like the school and the head addressed your concerns. I imagine that there is scope for bullying in all schools and how it is dealt with is more important that the fact that it can occasionally happen.