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Primary education

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Original poster

School nativity plays - no younger siblings allowed in the audience!

51 replies

TamsinG · 03/12/2011 21:50

Rather ironic I feel, given that these are Nativity plays! Have other parents encountered this? And how do other parents feel about such a rule?

The rationale is that badly behaved younger children can drown out the voices of the children actually supposed to be performing ( rather than your toddler who is bawling and beating the floor because he has dropped his biscuit -providing a good example of how to make one's voice heard without amplification). So I understand the point...but surely we can just leave when the toddlers start dismantling the electrical equipment? Just kidding. I'd leave before then, honest. There is always the chance that you get that magical moment where your toddler gazes adoringly at the DC1 now elevated to stardom, while DC1 basks in the attention....Also, for me it creates quite a difficult situation as DH works away, and not many other family members around to look after DC2 while I admire and applaud DC1.

Parents, teachers - any comments?

Should I shut up and start investigating childcare, or am I right to feel somewhat aggrieved at the exclusion of DS2?

OP posts:
scaevola · 03/12/2011 21:52

By the time the toddler has yelled, the child who has been practising For Weeks to say that One Line has had her moment spoiled.

I support a No Toddlers rule - clear, unambiguous, and nicest for the performers.

RustyBear · 03/12/2011 21:52

Yes, you can just leave if your toddler starts playing up, or your baby starts screaming. But you'd be amazed how many people don't....

RaspberryLemonPavlova · 03/12/2011 21:56

DS2s Junior School suggests that parents attend with pre-school siblings attend the dress rehearsal to minimise disruption, but this isn't a hard and fast rule.

I can see both sides though, I've been to performances where all I could hear were the babies/toddlers in the audience. Their parents/carers didn't feel it necessary to leave either.

Do they do more than one performance, maybe you could suggest that siblings can be admitted to one performance only?

oooggs · 03/12/2011 21:58

Our school has 3 performances over 2 days and one of them is child free but the school provide a creshe (sp) run by parents

SandStorm · 03/12/2011 21:59

I think it's a fabulous idea. Maybe you could ask the school if they could run a creche in one of the unused classrooms?

tallulah · 03/12/2011 22:01

After suffering many school performances completely spoiled by parents ignoring the HTs request not to bring toddlers and then ignoring said toddlers I also agree wholeheartedly with that rule. It isn't fair on the children who are performing. The parents never remove the noisy toddlers.

cat64 · 03/12/2011 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

treas · 03/12/2011 22:04

Excellent rule - fully support it and RustyBeaer is right.

Our school does an afternoon dress rehearsal which parents and toddlers can go to, followed by an evening performance the following day with no toddlers. Works really well.

2littlecherubs · 03/12/2011 22:41

In ds and dd school younger sibblings not allowed at any school production. They have a creche facility you can use. It's great as the performing kids are not disturbed and the parents can enjoy the performance rather than worrying their young children will play up and cause a disturbance.

Original poster
TamsinG · 03/12/2011 22:45

Interesting. Thank you all for your replies.

I like the idea of being able to attend a dress rehearsal, or a separate performance - this way siblings still get to watch and be watched by each other, and the actual performance is not disrupted. I did ask our HT about this, but this wasn't possible on this occasion.

I do feel that if the school makes such a rule, it should have in place a creche, or should have worked with the parents on a 'buddying' scheme - or some viable alternative for parents not fortunate enough to have friends or family available for childcare.

Also, I think that toddlers are not necessarily always disruptive. They can be among the most appreciative audience members - and I think that some of their comments 'That's my big brother' or 'Why are they all looking like sheep?' can add to a performance rather than detract from it. But then, as we all know it so much depends on whether they actually ate breakfast this morning or have decided that right now simply is the only time they must have a nap and cry themselves to sleep...so I would go for the separate performance option if it were possible. Seems a shame for them to miss out on the shows entirely!

OP posts:
Sidge · 03/12/2011 23:00

Given that recently DD3s first school assembly was ruined by a toddler creating chaos in front of me whose ineffectual mother didn't/wouldn't take him out, I am fully in agreement with a no-children rule for at least one of the performances.

If you KNOW your toddler is likely to get bored and kick off then for crying out loud either be prepared to remove them from the hall, or bring a book/packet of toffee to weld their jaw shut/game of solitaire for them to lose all the pieces to. Please don't just sit there whispering (loudly) "sssshh" to a demonic toddler that is completely ignoring you...

Original poster
TamsinG · 03/12/2011 23:06

But that is precisely the point. I don't KNOW this. Last year he was completely absorbed by the sight of big brother on stage, applauded most gratifyingly and was a lot less disruptive than the adults wielding video cameras...

OP posts:
CocktailQueen · 03/12/2011 23:10

Yup, our school does that too. Because you cannot depend on parents to remove their noisy offspring before half the play is over (from experience!). But our school has a creche for all younger sibs.

DownbytheRiverside · 03/12/2011 23:13

A creche is a good idea.
I have removed toddlers from the stage before now, and one angel did her bit beautifully whilst sobbing with embarrassment at her sibling screeching her name over and over whilst mummy smiled lovingly oblivious.
Some parents are idiotic about the disruption their refusal to leave causes.

'I think that some of their comments 'That's my big brother' or 'Why are they all looking like sheep?' can add to a performance rather than detract from it.'

Ah bless, yes.
The shepherds start sniggering, the narrator doesn't know whether to keep going or wait for the racket to stop. The dancers lose focus and children miss their cues.
It adds to the performance alright. Angry

TarquinGyrfalcon · 03/12/2011 23:21

Having had a lovingly prepared (by the children) Leavers' Assembley absolutley ruined by an unruly toddler (screaming, jumping on the stage, ripping up work that the children were displaying and talking about) I would fully support a no toddlers rule.

The mother in question didn't leave even after the Head halted proceedings and politely suggested that her child may like a but of fresh air in other words take him out now She just shrugged and siad 'nah, it's OK I don't mind'

Sidge · 03/12/2011 23:23

Tamsin IME all toddlers get bored at some point so go prepared!

If yours was entranced for the whole performance then it must have been a good one Grin

Original poster
TamsinG · 04/12/2011 09:46

Hi Sidge - well it was a pretty short performance. Toffee you mention sounds good though. Do you have suppliers?

OP posts:
Angelswings · 04/12/2011 10:01

Fully support the no toddler rule
Here the school has 3 options, day one toddlers allowed
Day 2 and 3 no toddlers.

BrigitBigKnickers · 04/12/2011 10:15

At DDs infant school they used to have one performance where little ones were allowed to attend but strictly banned from the others (and the head used to police the doors and refuse entry from any parent disobeying the rules!)

As a music teacher who has organised many a school concert and play- I can say that the weeks and weeks of preparation can be totally be ruined by just one baby/ toddler and a selfish parent who won't take them out (and when they do it's often too late for the child on stage whose only line had been drowned out.)

My other bug bear is parents who talk all the way through the bits where their PFB is not on the stage or those who leave immediately their child's starring moment is over. Angry

DuchessofMalfi · 04/12/2011 10:20

At DD's school they have a no toddlers/younger siblings rule because they don't want the performances ruined. Their reasoning was that the children had all been working hard for many weeks preparing for the show and it would be extremely upsetting for everyone if it was ruined by a screaming toddler.

The solution they have come up with is to invite all the younger siblings etc to a special performance (the dress rehearsal) so they get to see their older brothers & sisters. If they are at a local nursery then the nursery brings them with all the other children. I'm really glad this arrangement is on offer because DS would be the one to spoil it for everyone - he is very loud and disruptive and then I would have had to take him out and then miss DD's performance. He will be at nursery on the day DD of the performances for parents, so I'm happy.

CovMum · 04/12/2011 10:22

I so wish our school had that rule. Every play, assembly and concert is usually ruined by some child causing a problem. My DD2 had her assembly last week. She worked so hard to learn her lines as she is not super confident. On the day two toddlers shouted and screamed and screwed up their crisp packets the whole way through. We couldn't hear a thing. It is so unfair on the children and the staff who put so much effort in to it.

TheBolter · 04/12/2011 10:25

At the dd's school, there is a no under-10s rule for the evening performance, due to number of seats available. Little ones can attend the matinee, as does the rest of the school.

It's a bit of a pain as my ks2 dd cannot go to the evening performance, (not because she doesn't get to see it - she goes to the matinee anyway) but because dh and i usually have to find childcare / go to each performance on our own with me taking time out of work.

Still, hey ho. I do think no toddler rules are a good thing - while you may be a conscientious parent at such events, sadly there are many that aren't.

DownbytheRiverside · 04/12/2011 10:29

'The solution they have come up with is to invite all the younger siblings etc to a special performance (the dress rehearsal) so they get to see their older brothers & sisters.'

We have that, the nursery and EY come, plus any parents with babies, buggies etc.
Gives the children practice at using big voices and ignoring distractions, without them thinking it's the real thing.

coccyx · 04/12/2011 10:31

NO TODDLERS all the way for me.
Sadly even when they do start kicking off its parent is often oblivious!

lljkk · 04/12/2011 10:40

I must be living in lala land or be one of those with awful toddlers (actually, I know neither is true), coz I just don't perceive the problem (7 years and counting of Nativity play performances).

Tiny babies, sometimes squawk, but even those are swiftly removed ime.

Usually the children are coached so badly and speak too quietly & fast & not clearly, plus the hall accoustics are terrible -- those are the real problems trying to hear what the performers say.

The odd exclamation from a toddler is nothing, less distracting than some adults who like to chat thru the performance, too.

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