5yo ds "struggling" with school

[camilla2010]

DS is in a british circ school but not in UK. I know this school is academic and he is really struggling and I was called into school. Basically he is not "getting it". He is not recognising high frequency words even if they are next to each other he can't see they are the same. He is getting some phonics but not reliably. Miles away from blending. Can't hold pencil and not interested to write. Is interested to read but can't.
Is this normal for 5 yo boys?
Is it an early sign for dyslexia or similar?
Should I get extra tuition (he is having extra at school) or just see how it goes?
I am worried but logically know he is only 5!!
Thanks for any help

Are they teaching him phonics? Does he know his sounds? Can he recognise his letters?
I would be having his eyesight checked, and more than a normal eye test.
Does he hear the sounds in words eg. if you said "c" "a" "t" (sounds not letter names) would he know they merge to form "cat"?

He may not be quite ready yet. he is still very young.

i would focus on keeping him enjoying school.

However, the not being able to hold a pencil might be worth investigating. Others on here would be able to say if I am right about that and also to suggest what to do.

The readin thing sounds like my DD at 5. She has very severe problems learning to read and write. She's now 8.

The unable to hold a pencil will be due to fine motor skills problems, not dyslexia.

This is not normal 5 year old behaviour.

Extra tutoring won't help - if it was an educational problem school school would be able to help him.

He needs to be seen by an occupational therapist to find out why he can't hold a pencil. she should also check his visual perception.

And he needs to be seen by a behaviour optometrist to check how his eyes work.

Seeing two words next to each other and not recognising they're the same is a vision problem. So hopefully either the OT or the optometrist will work out exactly which bit of his vision is wrong.

An optician only checks for long and short sightedness, and wont test for the kind of problems he's likely to have.

When you say not interested in writing, it sounds like our son.

School said fine motor skills need to be addressed, so we got a OT but it did not help at all.Advise like make him cut, play with theraputty - was so hard he would never do it. Our son who is 9, still cannot write.

We just started on the RRT and for the first time ever, son is asking to write. Still mostly illegible but amazing considering how unwilling he used to be.

My advise would be don't stop with a OT if things don't seem to get better.

I'm assuming your ds is in Y1, rather than having just started Reception in September (ie he has been in school for about a year).

He sounds a lot like a little boy in ds1's class - he just isn't "getting" it. The school do a bit of extra phonics etc with him but using the same techniques they use with the rest of the class and it isn't helping. As far as I can tell (I am a parent helper) he cannot 'see' the differences b/w letters (although if you describe them verbally it helps).

In this little boys case I sincerely hope the school/his parents are seeking further referrals (obviously they wouldn't tell me and I wouldn't ask) because he is the only child in the class who makes no progress at all and he is beginning to be aware of it . It's not an academic school so v. mixed ability but even the youngest and least interested are learning to read and he just isn't.

Anyway, in your position I would definitely be getting things checked out (see IndigoBells post) rather than just doing more of the same.

Thanks for all advise - sorry I should have mentioned he actually does have vision issues but seems to be under control with glasses at mo.
I think I will look into the ocupational therapy route.
What is RRT? - sorry not heard of that?
He is the oldest in his school year at 5 - the other kids are mostly 4 and coming up for 5 so it is not an age issue although I would say he is very immature for his age probably by about a year and used to have very challenging behavioural issues but that side of him has improved alot since school.
I feel sorry for him because he is so keen but just doesn't seem to understand. With the word c-a-t he may be able to sound out the words (they are learning phonics) but would not be able to blend.
If you then showed him cat on the next page he would not recognise it as the same word.
Thanks so much for your posts!

Camilla - I don't know what kind of vision issues he has, or what kind of glasses - but if he has 'normal' glasses and his issues is 'short-sightedness' or something like that - then that is not what we are talking about.

AFAIK only an OT will test for visual discrimination / visual perception issues. An OT was certainly the person who told me DS1 had these issues.

Glasses won't help with visual discrimination problems.

And again there is quite a high chance he has eye tracking issues. Opticians don't test for this, so it's very possible he hasn't been tested for it. And again glasses don't help with it.

RRT is Retained Reflex Therapy, and is very good. However therapies like this take a while to get your head round and are not normally the place people start.

When you're ready for alternative therapies like RRT, these are the kind of places me and Debbie and others on the SN board have found have really helped our children:

Tinsley House
INPP
Hemispheres
Sound Learning Centre

All of these places are excellent - particularly Tinsley House. But don't go to them till you've got your head a bit more round his problems, and are prepared to do therapy with him every day for a year.......

An OT and a behaviour optometrist are a good place to start. But that's all they are - a starting place. If your DS is as bad as he sounds, it'll take you a couple of years and quite a few different therapies to get him to where he needs to be.

It can be done. But it takes a lot of time, patience and money. And most of all determination and utter faith. You have to believe he's capable of far more and that you will move heaven and earth to help him.

Once you've got your head there, the rest's easy :)

I agree with IB when she says You have to believe he's capable of far more....

In my experience, school will give up on him and make you believe he is not capable of much more. Harsh truth is teaching a child with a difficulty is no joy, it's easier to write off than persevere and find a way of getting thru.

Thanks IB and debbie!
I wonder if it's the eye thing as he actually does have a genetic condition I will email his specialist and ask if he has had these eye tests - he has had alot and his sight seems OKish but...
I will look into this other stuff as well.
Maybe I will post on sn boards about his condition and ask the quesdtion also.
Thanks so much for your help I really appreciate it!

I would say that at 5 his behaviour is fairly "normal". As a Year 1/Reception teacher I usually have around 2/3 children (nearly always boys) like this in the average class.

Out of the three, one will eventually be diagnosed with some sort of SN but usually for the other two, the penny will "drop" at some later point usually by the end of Yr2/3.

The problem is preventing a " I can't do it" attitude until they reach that point.

GetOut - You mean they don't learn to read until the end of Y3 - yet you don't consider them to have SEN?