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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

teachers , how do your children react to you missing school performances etc?

23 replies

ggirl · 02/12/2011 21:32

I am not a teacher , but am unable to attend a music thing at school that ds (yr4) is doing due to work. It's at 10:30am so obviously I cannot be alone in being unable to attend.

Ds seems to think it is completely unreasonable and I was trying to explain that loads of parents work , like his teacher .

So how do your dc react?

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MindtheGappp · 02/12/2011 21:34

My DC aren't fazed.

IndigoBell · 02/12/2011 21:37

As long as they know I won't be there they're fine.

The one time I said I would be and wasn't she never forgave me

ninah · 02/12/2011 21:38

they aren't half as bothered as I am!
last time I sent a friend in for dd's star of the week, dd didn't even notice her in the sea of faces
how old is your ds?

Feenie · 02/12/2011 21:39

My Y1 ds is in bits, mostly

Our lovely, lovely childminder went to see his Harvest Festival for us - on her morning off! She is ace. But it's upsetting sometimes.

Thank Christ play and learn sessions are over. They ran all through Reception and I couldn't go to a single one. We live in a very SAHM area, so he was practically on his own in having parents who both teach and can't be there. We have fixed it so we can see his Xmas performance, but now they've suddenly moved the time to an earlier one at a week's notice - will have to beg someone to cover for me for an extra 15 minutes.

Original poster

ggirl · 02/12/2011 21:39

Think ds is used to me being there until this new job so he'll have to get used to it

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Original poster

ggirl · 02/12/2011 21:41

ninah he's 9 , yr 4

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MollieO · 02/12/2011 21:44

Can't you take a half day holiday? That is what I do for these sort of things.

Feenie · 02/12/2011 21:45

You can't mean teachers, MollieO?

Original poster

ggirl · 02/12/2011 21:46

already taking half a day off for another xmas school thing in the same week so can't take anymore off
unfortunately we are severely understaffed as it is anyway

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Original poster

ggirl · 02/12/2011 21:47

and had to take wed morning off last week cos of school strike

OP posts:

MollieO · 02/12/2011 21:48

I was answering the OP who specifically said she wasn't a teacher. Most teachers I know teach at the school where their children go so don't have the problem of not being able to attend school functions.

I always book days off as far in advance as I can although there is no one to cover my work when I take the day off for ds's school concert (date booked off months ago). No idea what will happen then.

defineme · 02/12/2011 21:51

I send grandparents or friends and dc are sad but accept it. I am gutted every time. However, they have all the holidays with me.

ninah · 02/12/2011 21:55

oh, same age as my ds! (who is even less bothered than dd)
then again, they are fairly used to me not being there as working in a school has it's good points, but day time availability is not one of them, and I have been doing it a few years now.
I think it must be, as you say, because it's a new thing for your ds. He'll get used to it ... you never will, though!

Feenie · 02/12/2011 21:55

Oh thank goodness, MollieO Was because the title was addressed to teachers.

Yama · 02/12/2011 22:05

Can I tell you a story?

I teach in a secondary school. One of my pupils once told me how her mother told lies about her. It turned out that her during an apology for not attending a school performance the Mum said something along the lines of "I know how disappointed you are that I can't attend". The girl was

I told her that I bet she was disappointed when she was little. The girl couldn't remember being so and certainly didn't want her Mum to feel bad.

My dc can be disappointed sometimes. They understand though that people work.

Original poster

ggirl · 02/12/2011 22:07

nice to know yama ..thanks

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bigTillyMint · 02/12/2011 22:10

I am a teacher and am lucky that my "boss" is very flexible and I work close to home/my DC's school so I have not really missed anything remotely important.

I do think that schools could be a bit more sympathetic to working parents though - an assembly at 9.15 means that you miss less work-time than one at 10.30. Sadly many schools don't think about this.

Yama · 02/12/2011 22:12

You are welcome Ggirl.

You are trying your best. One day your ds will realise this. He is still very young.

DownbytheRiverside · 02/12/2011 22:17

Mine were resigned to it, sooner rather than later, as I never dropped them off, picked them up or saw anything they were in. So they learned very quickly.
I compensated by being a very hands-on and fun mummy all the times we were together.
Absent but cool!

Appuskidu · 02/12/2011 22:54

Mine hate it, but I can nearly always arrange it so that my mum or dad (or DH) is there which is nearly as good. On the odd occasion that nobody can be there-they smile/look for a friend's mum who has been asked to kindly look out for them!

mrz · 03/12/2011 12:31

Mine only hated it if the head said they could go home early after a performance ... if their parents were there usually my friend who had a daughter in the same class stood in for me.

Mum2be79 · 03/12/2011 13:54

For teachers, it is hard trying to decide on the times for performances. Whatever time we do it during school hours, there will always be some children who don't have someone there to watch. Although we do hope grandparents, childminders and other friends and relatives can make it as a means to support them. We did try to schedule a performance after school at 6pm (which meant teachers themselves were spending time away from their own families) but we found 1/3 of the children didn't turn up because they couldn't be bothered or the parents couldn't. :(

I'm about to become a parent myself in 4 weeks and trying to juggle a full time job as well as thinking about taking DC to and from school and making it to special assemblies is already bothering me. I have a boss who has small children herself and hoping that she'll be flexible. Although with me living an hour away from work, that may be tricky.

cat64 · 03/12/2011 20:01

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