Any teachers willing to give an honest answer?

[nikos]

Do the kids of mums who help in school (PTA, reading) get the best parts in school plays?

Lady word- my daughter is mixed white/afro caribbean and has been cast as Mary twice.

'I don't know, but what does get my goat is that in the ones I've seen, Mary is always blonde and simpering, because that's what is defined as pretty. (embittered dark-haired person here!) Mary, IF she existed, was not blonde FFS!

Is your school population white?
We have a very mixed catchment, Mary and Joseph have been all varieties of ethnicity. This year she's Chinese and he's ginger and very white. The simpering needs training out of her!

But yes, they can both sit still and not chatter, gurn and squeak for 30 minutes.

A wonderful attitude, cory. I don't think that some parents are in the least interested in the play- or celebrating a DC who is excellent in the part-they want one thing only-to see their DC. My DCs could appreciate other DCs who were really good. It can be a really shy DC, my nephew was like that but he could lose himself in a part-he ended up getting accepted by the National Youth Theatre. DS1 was usually chosen to dance.
Why parents think other parents can influence, is a mystery to me.

I have seen many, many, nativity plays and have seen many Marys -with just about every shade of skin colour. The only thing that matters is that she is confident, has a clear voice and ,above all, is reliable-that narrows the choice.

I honestly have only seen the blonde simpering variety but I live in hope. not an all-white school, though not as mixed as many perhaps.

That's odd because every little Mary I have ever seen has been a brunette. The blondes tend to get firmly type cast as angels.

It's that old causation/correlation thing again.

As someone said upthread, why on earth would this be the case anyway? What would the teachers get out of it? Obviously schools (i.e. the children) benefit enormously from the funds raised by PTAs, but why would the teachers themselves need to "pay back" any parents in this way? Apart from being an insulting slur on the professional integrity of teachers, there's nothing to be gained by it at all.
Except to perpetuate the myth that some people insisit on believing. Ridiculous.

I have asked the question at least twice clam and no one has answered. I can't see what the teacher gets out of it.

My dd appears to be one of those "golden" children who is picked for everything. I am not on the PTA and i don't volunteer regularly in the school, as I have a very demanding FT job which makes this impossible.

I think she is often picked because she follows instructions well and tends to be very confident. She gets picked for stuff by her peers, too, like school council, and she is also chosen a lot for stuff that she does out of school. For some reason, she just seems to stand out.

I was one of those kids at school who worked hard and did very well, but never really got picked for anything. I can see why other parents might find it annoying when the same kids are always picked, and I wish opportunities were shared out a bit more fairly, but I wish people wouldn't jump to conclusions about why certain children are always chosen. And am :( at some of the vitriol I see on here at times towards the children who do get picked. They don't make tge decisions and it isn't their fault.

We are all power-crazed harridans, revelling in the impotence of those who try and get in the way of our God complex.
We see school like The Sims, with us directing all actions.
We can be swayed by tributes to look upon individuals with favour, but they have to be quality bribes.
Otherwise we will always pick our favourites and leave the rest gnashing and wailing in the outer darkness.

I've seen threads like this before and quietly laughed to myself when the after school club choices were handed out recently .

Three clubs, children put 1st and 2nd choice. I'm PTA treasurer, my DS got the third club he hadn't put down, the same with the Chair's child. And as for the play none of the PTA members' children have leading roles, exactly as it should be.

It's because nobody ever volunteers to help in a school or be on the PTA or be a governor unless they are evil pushy cliquey women who bully the Head and the teachers to get their own way, and so they can demand that their child is Mary every year and wins the Easter egg raffle. And insist that the children of anyone who "has a life" and "can't be bothered with the school gate stuff" and "finds mothers in the playground really really boring" and "has enough friends already so doesn't want to talk to mind numbing drones" are relegated to the back row of the angel choir (no halo) or are 5th sheep in q flock of 5,

Surely you know that, exoticfruits- you've been told often enough!

I can't quite reconcile it to the hard working conscientious bunch I know seeker, who generally do it because no one else will!
A lot of teachers haven't a clue who is on PTA anyway-except perhaps the chair.

It still goes down to 3 things.
Confidence, clear voice and reliability.

There are quite a few who have the first and second but not the third. We all know the endearing DC who genuinely cocks it up, but along side that there are the silly who know exactly what they are doing and play for a laugh and their own parents may think it 'endearing' but the rest of us are irritated. You miss them for a main part.

I'll be gutted if DS gets a main part next year when he's one of the oldest in school. He doesn't like the plays and will find it really stressful if he had words to learn. And I'm totally close to the edge after the fair last week and toy sale not long before that which between them have taken days of my life I can't really spare and definitely won't be able to next year when I start work again in January.

If he has words to learn I will have a complete breakdown . And I don't want to be on the PTA let alone Treasurer. But the Chair, Vice Chair and Treasurer left last year do it was either the three of left do it or it folded. And there's no way I was going to stand by and let it fold whilst the School's budget is being cut, so am now in my own personal PTA hell until I can step down.

I do exactly the same odds and sods for the PTA I've always done.
DD1 didn't get a reasonable part in any play, even though she'd actually of been ok. She is a bit socially inept and dyslexic so her readings poor. I don't think people realised she would have learnt every word no problem.
However, she would get sing because she does lessons.
People must be sick of the sight of DD2. She had a big part in the brownie play and is forever up reading or narrating things.
Even when she was little and meant to be a star, she managed to become The Star and lead the kings all round the audience.
Outwardly she very confident, inwardly she really needs approval and praise that being in the lime light brings.

DS3 was a shepherd aged 4, not that anyone would know, he was sitting in the audience on his grandad's knee with his thumb in his mouth! It didn't really matter being one shepherd down, but it is hardly surprising that he wasn't considered for a main part the next year.

My DD nearly didn't get a leading part in the nativity just because I teach at the school. Luckily I am in ks2 so had nothing to do with the casting. Her part required her to sing and act 6 different verses throughout the play completely on her own. I was told she had been chosen because she was confident, had a clear voice and they knew I would help her learn her part properly. They have just done the same version again - 8 years after the original - and had to rearrange the piece as this years y2's are lovely but a bit shy. It was still lovely, even when Mary stood on her dress as she got up and flashed her chest at us!
There have been plenty of things she hasn't been involved with just because I am there, but I dont mind.

DC's school does 4 plays per year, 3 involving 2 year groups, 1 involving just Year 6.

For all of them, children get to put down their choices - to have a big speaking part, a small speaking part, to do a dance or to play a musical instrument. Everybody sings, the classes work in big groups to make props / scenery. Every child except those playing musical instruments (so perhaps 100 - 110 of the 120 kids involved) appears on the stage in a group or on their own to 'do their bit' whether 'their bit' is part of the narrative, a dance or a verse of a song.

'Speakers' of both kinds audition, the best get given the parts.

DS's first option is always a small speaking part, which he generally gets, so he tends to have a couple of lines.

DD changes her options every year - she's been a dancer 3 times, a small speaking part once and a HUGE speaking part once.

I teach elsewhere, and can't get to PTA stuff so it's definitely not because I'm 'involved'.

Definately at my dc's school.

Last year they gave the part of Joseph in the nativity to a very shy boy whose mom is very involved with the school. According to my DD he cried whenever they rehearsed and he also cried uncontrollably during the actual performance. Poor boy. There were other willing and able boys who could have done it.

I have many other examples.

As others have said do you really, really believe teachers sit there and say 'oh let's make X Joseph because his mum is head of the PTA. I know Y would be better but we must go with X'?

It is a coincidence and those of you who believe this happens because parents are involved in the school are putting two and two together and making about 200 imho.

Ds has had good roles in two class assembly performances and has a decent one in the nativity. One was before I started helping in school anyway. Other kids who have had strong parts in things don't have parents involved in the school at all. That's just our experience and it might seem different elsewhere but I don't believe it really is. Sorry.

I suspect that they gave it to a shy boy to raise his self confidence and it had nothing to do with his mother. Speaking as a once shy child I didn't like people trying to force me out of my shell so I can see why it was too much.

I bet there is many a pushy parent who wants a main part when the DC hasn't even asked to be considered for it-they just don't like to tell mum that actually they didn't volunteer and they didn't audition-much simpler to tell her that they were not chosen!

Our are allocated on a 'put your hand up if you want to be a chicken' basis. Seems to work well.

Blimey, what a pathetic, bitchy waste of emotional energy, to sit there wondering why someone has or hasn't got a particular part in a school play and suspecting it isn't for the right reasons.