Grrr....just had to write a letter of complaint to my DDs teacher.

[2kidsintow]

Today my y6 DD was told to go for dinner straight away instead of waiting and lining up with her year group so she could go to a lunchtime practise for the school play. When she got to the dinner hall she asked one of the dinner ladies who told her she didn't need to go early and had plenty of time. Apparently by the time her year went in for dinner, she had 5 minutes left to eat. She has burn marks on her tongue where she tried to eat the hot food and she tells me that after about 5 mouthfulls she gave in and ditched her dinner so as not to be late for the practice. She didn't complain to her teacher as she doesn't like to make a fuss for teachers.
After school her first words to me were that she didn't want to be in the play any more and then she got upset.

I've written a polite letter to her teacher asking that she be allowed to have dinner next time.

Wow. Impressive that when serving a few hundred children the food can be so hot as to leave burn marks!

How is this the teacher's fault? The teacher let ehr out and told her what to do. Surely the complaint should be directed towards the member of staff that did not allow her to skip the queue.

I work in a school and also know the system set up in their too as have also worked there.

Yousank...they cook in batches and her bring new food out of the heating units when each new year group come in and she was first in line in her year group. She clearly has marks on her tongue from eating too hot food.

Nothruroad, the letter of complaint is about the lack of communication and politely asks that my DD be allowed to have time to have dinner before the practise. In my school, if I want any of my class to have an early dinner I let the dinner ladies know that they need to go in for one of the first sittings so that they know to let them and don't think the child is trying to pull the wool over their eyes. Other children in the practice from other classes were allowed to 'skip the queue' but she wasn't even though she explained she had a practise to go to.

It is not a happy moment when your child comes home to say they don't want to be in the play any more and that they only ate very little today.

How was she allowed to ditch her dinner? Aren't they supervised?
Think if others were let through, the communication was probably ok. You don't know why it didn't work with your dd but need clarification. She also needs to know to go back and check with the teacher if a dinner lady is saying something different; then she'll be able to relay the correct message and make sure she gets where she needs to be at the correct time.
It's a shame she's considering giving up after one mishap. Perhaps she's being a little over-dramatic, and is well suited to the thespian path?!

Is it that easy to find a teacher at lunch? Usually they are having their own lunch so time I took to find and sort this with teacher surely lunch would be over.

Think it is issue for teacher to take up with dinner lady as teacher seemed to have done right thing - it was dinner lady who bounced her off early sitting.

She has been called a bit of a drama queen in the past, but has grown out of it mostly. :) She is rather timid of doing or saying anything to the adults at school that isn't completely positive so didn't tell the teacher that she had been told to wait for her dinner. She also panicked about being late as was worried she'd be told off. I've told her to try and stand up for herself a bit more.
The children who were let through were from another class and their teacher did pass on the message she says.
I too have wondered how she was allowed to ditch her uneaten dinner, but I think that they do not supervise the older children as much as the younger ones in the same way. The school has more than 400 pupils and they try to get through all of them in an hour. My infant DD has told me about being told to try and eat more food when she was going to leave it, so not sure what happened there.

Doesn't she know to blow her food before she eats it ?

I've had that conversation with her too today, but she was rushing to not be late so gave in on trying to eat...which I've told her I'm not happy with. I would rather she was late than didn't eat.

Gigondas, the main reason for my letter is exactly that, that the teacher is asked to make the dinner ladies aware next time of the arrangements that she wants. It is certainly my responsibility where I work to let the busy dinner staff know what is going on rather than them coming to find me.

I also know of other children's parents who have had to contact the school when their children, in another year, have been expected to turn up to lunchtime clubs, but not allowed to change the sitting they go into the hall for, so it seems they don't have effective communication procedures for this.

I would write too. I had a problem that my son would skip dinner at school (actually he still does, we just try to work around it as he's now in year 11), his made him unable to concentrate on afternoon school.

Why dont you just have a friendly chat with the teacher rather than writing a letter?

If she was an infant that would be a lot easier, but in their school the junior teachers are much more difficult to get hold of. I also work in a different school and don't get to go to their school every day.

She took in the note today and when she came out of school she told me that her teacher hadn't been there today anyway....but she was allowed early dinner today with the rest of the kids who were asked to have it.

Hope your dd is ok. People shud be more sympathetic where burn marks are concerned. Goodness sake! What does the poor child have to do to prove it's true?

y6?

sorry, i read it as age 6 the first time.

i would be expecting my y6 dd to be a little more resilient tbh, and to explain to the dinner lady that the class teacher had told her what to do, and that the rest of the play cast were doing the same. or to find a teacher.

but one day of missing lunch isn't going to kill her - it might teach her to be a bit more confident next time. this time of year is always ridiculous. my lot only have 15 minutes every day of the year to eat lunch - when there are extra murals or plays or choir paractice on they usually only manage a granola bar. just feed her up when she gets in on practice days, and make sure she has a snack in her pocket.

oh, i see she did manage to stand up for herself today! fab.

MDS are too busy supervising the EY and making sure they eat everything to also worry about KS2 finishing their lunch. Your DD does seem to lack basic confidence, and I'd be more concerned about that, especially if she's moving on at the end of the year.
If I was the teacher, I'd be buddying her up with a more independent and confident member of the class, on a rotation schedule if necessary. That way she has her developing independence scaffolded rather than always looking to an adult to resolve things. She needs coping strategies and resilience, neither of which she will acquire if she's expecting the support you give a much younger child.