How to motivate DS at school and other worries.

[TheRepublicOfDreams]

Ds said to me today that he finds school ' too long and too boring and I just want to be at home'. Not unusual probably for a reception child.

HOWEVER, he always also says he has noone to play with, teachers assure me this is true although cant name specific people he plays with. I do know he ofen goes to his older brother who tells him to buzz off and who then sees him sitting on the bench alone (I have told him to be nicer to his brother, btw, but he understandably wants to play with children his own age!)

Last years teacher said that he was secure in his phonics knowledge and was getting him to read cvc words and he was happy and loving school and skipping off each morning with a smile. Starting this year he seemed to have a mental blank when it came to his sounds, and has only just been put on books because she said he didnt know the sounds, even though he did six weeks prior. He says he hates reading to her. When he reads with me, he is reluctant if I push it, but if I encourage him and say show me your great reading he does well. He will sound out in his head the words and then say them, although he obviously needs to get better with speed/fluency etc which comes with time. He also needs to recognise when a word he has just decoded is repeated a sentence later. When he reads to her he just mucks around and say she doesnt know things.

He has such low confidence and I do try to build it up and praise him for effort rather than acheivement.

Re the boredom thing, he appears to be having fun running around and playing which is great, what four year old wouldnt! but when it comes to lessons, the teacher says that he behaves as if she is the most boring thing on earth ()

There are also some odd toileting behaviours (which I wont identify for fear of outing myself to his teacher!) that have presented a few times at school but never at home, which is a worry, yes? They say they are pretty sure it is deliberate.

He is also super cross when he gets home, lashes out physically and verbally at me and his brother and is rude and back chatty to the extreme. I know this is probably due to tiredness more than anything else, but how do I deal with this and when will it get better? (ds1 never went through it at all)

Does this all sound normal or do I need to check things out further? Any ideas?

Bump :)

Bump

He is only 4 so maybe feeling very tired and even restricted by the school structure. He possibly does find the teacher boring at the moment as he wants to play!
Does he have time just to chill out and watch cbeebies [or whatever] when he gets home?
Over tiredness can cause shocking tantrums in my year 2 ds!

2boystooloud makes sense (both in name and advice!) He is probably struggling with the increased structure into reception where they actually have to sit down and do some work. Lots of children struggle with this when they reach reception and are suddenly reluctant to go into school and say it's boring etc. Often children use boring as a word when actually it is too difficult (but have no idea whether this actually applies to your son at all).

If you are concerned about your son's social side within school and who (and how) he plays with then you need to speak to the teacher(s) and ask them to monitor it. It is no good, having brought this up, that they can't report back to you on it. At this age it is a teacher's responsibility to help instigate positive friendships and whilst they can't be forced they can be encouraged and activities set up to help integrate your son.

Can you set up some rewards at home for his achievements at school?

Do you have time to volunteer for a morning or afternoon session a week? You can then see what's going on, how he interacts etc. listen to lots of kids read, including your son, who by the way for a reception child sounds like he is doing well with his reading, even if he is a little more resistant, keep at it at home and reward him for improvements.

Can you organise some play time with a child(ren) he does like outside school. Playing on a one to one basis can significantly improve friendships.

Lastly, it does sound like there might be a bit of a personality clash between your son and his teacher. Whether it is simply because she expects him to work or something more it is hard to say. Unfortunately, as long as she is doing her job properly, there isn't much you can do about that.