Before and after school routine

[MerryMarigold]

I know this is slightly 'off' primary school topic, but thought this would be a good place to catch parents of the right age group. My ds1 is 6 and in Y1. He has a fair bit of catching up to do on reading and writing. He's very tired after school/ evening, so not sure that is a good time to do stuff (although that is when we do it now). His homework (once a week) generally takes a few 'sessions' and I'm really struggling to fit in anything more. He goes to a laidback school and I am a laidback parent but I think the teacher is pushing for him to do a bit more at home on a daily basis - reading books, high frequency words, spelling, maths etc. (Not all on one day!!)

I'm really bad at routine so I'm coming to the lovely MN people to ask: WDYD? What's your morning and post-school routine and when do you fit 'work' in? I also have younger twins (aged 3). I'd love to know rough times for eating/ cooking/ getting dressed in morning etc. as to how you manage to fit it all in, because I am rubbish at this. TIA

Interesting,
7 am alarm goes off, all up by 7.20 am brushed teeth, washed and dressed, breakfast from 7.55 to 8.15, out of the house by 8.20 at the school doors 8.35.
Pick up time 4.45 pm home by 5.00 pm, tv time till 5.45, dinner 6.00, home work 6.45 to 7.05, warm drink shower, story time, bed for DD Y1 8.00 lights off.
Home work every day at 6.45 includes reading school book, spelling, few sentences of writing, maths three times a week, nothing ever gets done on weekends, this a very rigid routine, but it works for us, both me and dh work full time and we need to have lot of structure.

I do 30 mins of school type work everyday with DS and more games type stuff if I have time. In Reception he cannot go to after school activity clubs. I take him the library every other week to do crafts and DH takes him the park on Sat and Sun to burn off energy. He occasionally goes to football - we need to find a better physical activity to tire him out.

Like you Merry my DS was behind. I find 30 mins most days really does help consolidate what he has learnt during the day and makes a massive difference to how well he can retain and demonstrate skills. The main thing is that he seems so much happier and confident.

Eggrules, wow it's amazing that with the extra work he is actually happier and more confident. My ds had such a hard time in Reception. He didn't even get a reading book the WHOLE year when all his friends were moving up levels etc. He is well chuffed now as he has a good teacher and she kind of mixes up the levels so it's not so obvious what they're on (to the kids at least).

I tried to do food earlier. Was 5.30, which is an improvement on 6.15 I guess. Ds did a few minutes (literally) of homework (he had two word left to write on his list of light sources).

DD yr 1

Couple of things that have jumped out at me - one how early you are all up.

DD gets up 7.45/8 ish - we leave 8.35pm. Neither of us are morning people - I have everything laid out the night before DD's clothes on the landing rail inc underwar/shoes and same for me, bags by door - then there is no where is my shoe? I need a £1 for x - all done night before.

DD sometimes eats breakfast in car if we are up later and I always eat breakfast at work.

Other thing that jumped out was time spend cooking - 45 mins/1hr. If you are looking to find an extra 30 mins cut that. I cook from scratch but batch cook at weekend so midweek meals consist of me taking a dish of bolognaise/casserole/chilli/cottage pie out of the freezer and defrosting overnight in the fridge. Then when we get in I make pasta or rice to accompany and microwave the meal - so 15 mins max cooking.

DD then tends to do her homework after tea whilst I clear up/load dishwasher make her lunch for the next day. (I also batch make her sandwiches and freeze them so making lunch box is also quick)

She has a bath every other night and she showers after swimming at the pool on swimming lessons day.

I aim for an 8pm bedtime for her.

Merry... My dcs go to bed about 7pm

This thread is an interesting read. My DP leaves for work at 7am and does not get home until 8.15pm ish, so the morning and evening routine with my DC 4yrs (in reception) and 6yrs (yr 2) is just the three of us.

I am glad I am not alone in encouraging daily time spent around the kitchen table doing spellings, reading, timetables and music practise. I am trying to build it into our daily routine and encourage little and often rather than a mad panic the night before.

I recently declined another afterschool club (we do them tuesday, friday and sunday already) with a friend as l felt it left is too little time to 'do homework' and chill out a bit without the pressure. We do evenings by the way mornings just don't work for us.

Out of interest my FIL told me today I had a very 'middle class' attitude to homework with the DC ... and he approved !

Yes, good ideas for cutting meal prep time. I try and batch cook a few meals, but with 5 mouths to feed (and 6 or 7 once a week when my parents are over) we just go through it v quickly. Today was burger and chips and frozen veg! Need to do that every so often.

MY DH couldn't hold a pencil in June never mind understand letter formation. He started very late in nursery and was in a group with very capable girls. It really knocked his confidence to be so far behind. Five months later, he brought home a sentence he had written from memory today. The change in HIM has been the best bit as he really is much happier. I find he grumbles less if we do it every school night as it is snack & homework. His reception teacher is fab and suggests specific things to do with him.

That's fantastic. Our nursery don't do anything, so he started reception without being able to hold a pencil. By Christmas he could hold it, but only to draw. He left YR only being able to write his name. I'm amazed at how much you've done. Well done!

Little and often works for him. Like your DS, he always seemed bright to me, but didn't meet the scales expected (which didn't worry me btw). If your DS is happy, then I would be less worried. My DS was upset and so I felt like I needed to do something.

His teacher uses Oxford University Press and this teaches the letter sound and how to write it. For example: d-d-d-d dinosaur - around the dinosaurs bottom and up his tall neck. This has clicked more than anything else and I am glad I have found something that makes it stick in his mind. I'm glad I tried a few things because I understand better how his mind works.

I found it very frustrating at times. C-A-T spells cat - ask him two minutes and the same question would be met with a totally blank look. It takes a while for things to click; once it does it seems to stay with him.

Our routine isn't ideal at ths moment - we live in the middle of nowhere and only have one car. DD is 4 (Yr R) and DS is 6mo. Our day goes as follows:

5:30am DH wakes, has quick shower, gets dressed, makes breakfast for him and snack for DD.
5:45am The rest of the house wakes, DH changes DS's nappy and DD and I wash faces, brush teeth and I quickly throw on some clothes and feed DS if he's hungry.
6:10am Bundle us all into the car to drop DH off to work, DD eats her snack on the way.
6:40am Get back home, make coffee for myself, get DD's breakfast ready and do a bit of housework. I often read with DD now, or we do done sums together (she loves doing addition and subtractions together and is really very good - strange child)
7:20am Dress DD, do her hair, change DS's nappy, give him a quick feed.
7:50am DD gets on the school bus and I finally have my shower and breakfast.
4:10pm Collect DD from school bus, pick up DH, come home and eat dinner.
5:30pm DD does whatever homework she has with me - usually phonics work/ORT books.
6:00pm Bath for DD and DS.
6:45pm Bedtime story and lights out by 7pm.

Am usually in bed by 9:30pm during the week as DS is teething and wakes every goddamn bloody hour a few times a night!

My ds was very unhappy last year. I didn't know why. Some of it may have been being 'behind' compared to some friends, but it's hard to guage. He seems a lot happier this year and he's still behind! So today, after doing reading book with Grandad and finishing up homework, at bedtime we started looking at a book about Space/ planets and he insisted on reading it to me. I was absolutely gobsmacked. It was almost like he'd got on a roll. He has never, ever done this. It's usually a bit of cajoling to get him to read. Of course some of it was too hard, but he had a jolly good go and I helped him with the hard words. It was a bit of a fight to get him to put it down. I am well, well, well chuffed. Thanks for all your insights peeps.

Well done to your DS MerryMarigold! That's brilliant!

You must be , fecking marvellous. If he is happy, then you should be. There is more to being clever than meeting targets.

BTW my ds seems to plateau for ages and then jump massively to another level.

What a lovely end to the night

Wow, reading all these is amazing - I too can't believe what times you are geting up along with the children.

Bunnyjo - I bow to you getting up at 5.30 and doing all that and running your DH to work!

Merry Marigold - Great about your son, my dd has just been doing something similar, a wonderful feeling isn't it.

It was comforting to see that I am not the only one that sits and does the homework!

Marigold, you are not crap or rubbish, you are brilliant to manage twins and your ds. Have some It took me a long time to stumble on a system that worked for me.

I have 4dcs, all two years apart, now ranging from 13 to 6. I made a list of morning things to do, and after school things to do, one for myself and one for the the dcs years ago. They didn't have times specified, but the idea was that when you'd done your list you could do whatever you want, (except screen time which we limit depending on the day and no screen time in the morning).

We had them on the wall for years, it worked so well that they don't need any input in the morning at all now, and the main homework support I do is to ask spellings or time tables at random times. Once it is routine, and one thing leads to another, it doesn't feel like a lot to do, just what you do in the morning.

So for Dcs

Breakfast
Wash
teeth
dressed
Pack lunch in bag
School bag ready
Check tidy room
Music practice -short

for me

Breakfast
Make lunches
Plan dinner
Dishwasher on
Washing on
Dress /wash

After school

Dcs
Lunch box to kitchen
School letters to kitchen
Snack
Homework
Longer music practice
Dinner 6.15 all family

me

Snack
Deal with school letters
Help if necessary with homework
Dishwasher
Washing
Dinner

The older ones do some of my list now, like the dishwasher and producing washing. They see me doing it and just join in.

Ooops, that was long, but you did ask...

year 1 late summer born
7.45 Breakfast schools coats book bags fruit lunch in hall by front door
Practise key words and spellings
8 am dressed creamed teeth then playtime until we leave for school

Mondays playdates and reading books key words something we do as soon as we get in from school.

Tuesdays park free play crafts bath tea more play

Wednesdays stay at school at school with friends in the payground in the summer play outside winter bath then play in side dinner more play.

Thursdays get changed for ballet do homework practise spellings watch tv if time. Ballet then tea.

Friday reading key words spellings free play bath tea.

It works for us to do things this way we always sit in the same corner of the kitchen to read.

I have just read this thread with interest. I particularly like the idea of cultivating lists for everyone, especially as DDs get older.

Routine in our house:
5.00am DP gets up - coffee/tea, breakfast, makes lunches for DDs, usually empties dishwasher (also watches TV or plays in X-box if time allows)
6.00am DP shaves, uses bathroom; I get up - breakfast, sort laundry,
6.30am DD1 and DD2 get up (sometimes have to be woken); DP leaves to catch boat to work; breakfast in front of TV whilst I wash and dress
7.00am DD1 and DD2 start dressing - DD1 is 5 and can do most by herself but aren't tights tricky! DD2 is 2 and mostly needs to be dressed
7.20am bags packed, check lunches, check letters/cheques in book bag pockets
7.25am out of the door
7.30am DD1 and DD2 dropped at childminders and I go to work

In the afternoon

5.30pm I collect DD1 and DD2 from childminder's (some days I manage to get out of work and collect them by 5pm and on Fridays I collect at 4pm)
5.35pm home - I start tea whilst DD1 gets changed. DD2 usually turns on TV. DD1 might put computer on and use mathletics/reading eggs/bin weevils/moshi monsters
6.00pm DP arrives home (as long as he caught the 'right' boat - if he missed it we carry on and he heats up his tea when he gets in)
6.15pm tea for everyone (sometimes a bit earlier - DP has been known to walk in as it hits the table)
6.45pm Reading with DD1. DD2 usually either listens along or will do some colouring or playing with DP after he has loaded dishwasher
7.00pm DP runs bath whilst I play with DDs in playroom
7.15pm bathtime done by DP whilst I sort clothes for tomorrow and check bookbag/backpack
7.35pm in bed for stories
7.45pm lights out - we take it in turns to do stories/bed

We are usually both sorted by 8.15pm although DP starts thinking about bed by 10pm (unless he falls asleep with DDs when he does bedtime!)

I have no idea how we will do homework, spellings etc when girls are older and both in school. We might have to see what can be done at the childminder's - currently DD2 does 2 days at pre-school and the rest of the time I think they both 'chill and play' when they are with the childminder. DD1 is the oldest child there so not sure what to suggest once homework starts.

Love the lists Original Poster. I think I'll be copying verbatim. I certainly need the list for myself, let alone the kids. Dh will be delighted! I am rubbish at routine. My strength is having fun and being a bit mad, but consistency and routine is a huge weakness - which has major drawbacks with 3 kids. I am learning tho and you guys are helping.

Can't wait till the twins are a bit more independent. Mind you ds2 is a bit more independent than ds1 already!! I think he just had to be.

The original dcs list ended with

Then....play!!

Mine ended with

Then coffee and RELAX....

glad if it helps anyone

In RL I don't give advice, it is social suicide..

Hee hee. I think COFFEE has to be first on my morning list, I'm afraid. How do you get through that list without coffee? Maybe this is where I'm going wrong. I relax first and then have no time!!

Reading this thread with (as in amazed, not shocked) at how organised you all are. I am new to the school run thing with my oldest in reception and I wonder if I should start making a list or at least set my alam clock... I still rely on 'the baby' (nearly 2) to wake me which is getting more hit and miss and she quite fancies a lie in every so often . Then it's breakfast in pyjamas and a very large coffee for me around 7.30 to 8ish. dd1 is getting quite good at putting her uniform on herself but we then have a lengthy discussion about how she would like her very long very stubborn hair that day. I also have to dress dd2 who at that point is running riot upstairs. And wash and dress myself -can't remember when I last managed a shower in the morning... Then teeth, coats, try to locate toothbrushes. Leave house at 8.20 and make sure I am wearing shoes, not slippers . After school and bed time is just as bad and I haven't quite worked out how to fit homework in...
Right. Must make lists.

Our morning routine (solo mum f/t self-employed - with twins in Yr 6 plus puppy dog!):
4.45am DT2 wakes but reads quietly in his room
5.00am I wake and have cup of tea in bed
5.30am I get up and shower dress etc.
6.00am Go in to DT2 and let him get up and go downstairs and he has time to go on his PC. I feed dog and cats and DT2 and ensure DTs have clothes for the day and all bags packed.
6.20am Start trying to wake DT1!
6.40am Take dog for a walk whilst DTs shower and dress.
7.15am Back home, chivvy on DT1, try to get him to have b/fast.
7.30am Leave for school run - back 8.10am to start working day.

After school - back home with twins by 4.15pm.

DTs do HW (they get about one hr a night) and maybe music practices.
I cook supper and feed and attend to dog.
5.00pm Feed twins.
5.00pm till 5.50pm - Twins finish HW and/or go on PCs whilst I check emails/ work calls etc.
5.50pm till 7.10pm All drive off with dog for dog's main walk of the day.
7.10pm till 7.50pm - DTs on PCs (again!!!)
8.00am crate dog and everyone heads upstairs for bedtime hugs/reading etc.
8.40pm lights out for DTs and not long after that - for me too!

Always feel as if we barely fit everything in and always up and running the entire day - but still easier now twins are 10. (Puppy dog's another whole story!)

Wow Solo that's an early start. I am not technically human before at least 6.45!

BabyGiraffes, I am barely human most of the time! If I don't wake early enough to get the cup of tea in bed, I'm like the 'Monster from the Black Lagoon' all day. I go to bed really early though (no life outside of work and DCs for yrs now - but too busy to bother!). Every single morning is always a panic to get everything done in time. So I should really get up even earlier but it's too hard in winter...