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Primary education

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Original poster

What is the etiquette re buying teachers a Christmas present/contributing to a collection?

49 replies

suebfg · 22/11/2011 20:32

I've been asked to contribute a set amount to a collection for vouchers for DS's teacher and teaching assistants for Christmas. Obviously over 30 kids, it tots up to quite a bit of money per teacher/assistant. I think I'll have to become a teacher!

Is this the done thing? I thought a box of chocs or some home made mince pies for the staff would be a bit more personal.

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Fairenuff · 22/11/2011 21:20

Just say, I won't give to the collection as I'm planning on giving individual presents from ds, but thanks for the thought. Job done. They won't know that in reality you're not giving anything .

Original poster

suebfg · 22/11/2011 21:22

I don't object to giving anything - I'd just like DS to give a little present as opposed to a whopping bunch of vouchers so teacher can buy a pair of new shoes or pay her gas bill or whatever

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whoopeecushion · 22/11/2011 21:24

Now I do object to huge bunches of flowers, but the gas bill is OK with me. Shoes are OK too - they are useful.

but, sue, I just want to ask you, how do you decide what gift your DS will give or how do you know it won't be totally unappreciated/not what the recipient would use/like/need?

Clawdy · 22/11/2011 21:25

I'm a teacher and wish I finished at 3.15..... Incidentally,I would be very happy with 30 lots of chocs or mince pies! . The collection idea is fairly new,I think and usually organised by one or two parents. Sure quite a few other parents just do their own thing. Personally,like most teachers,I just love to get a card signed by the child.

passthechocolates · 22/11/2011 21:27

I totally agree with honey a personal gift would be remembered more I'm sure, and then the kids actually get involved in the making of it.

Original poster

suebfg · 22/11/2011 21:27

My DS will be entitled to choose and if the teacher doesn't like it/appreciate it, then so be it. It is the thought that counts i.e. the thought from my DS.

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whoopeecushion · 22/11/2011 21:30

oh right, your DS must be older than mine. Because he would get his teacher a lightning mcqueen car or somesuch if given the choice. Because of course nobody on earth could fail to love lightning mcqueen!

Zumbawumba · 22/11/2011 21:30

I'm collecting for DS's teachers/teaching assistants this Xmas.

I expect many people to not contribute, some to contribute a bit more than others and I couldn't care less who gives what. I think the teachers would not like the fact that there is any pressure to contribute as gifts should be given willingly or not at all. i.e. in the spirit of Christmas!

I know I will probably do personal gifts at the end of the year myself.

NonnoMum · 22/11/2011 21:32

If it helps, it's all over by secondary school and once they are over 11, then their teachers get bugger all...

Apart from people harping on about all those pressies at Christmas...er... no - that only happens when the kids are still at the sweet stage parents remember on their behalf.

Unless you get the John Lewis kid in your class. He'd remember.

passthechocolates · 22/11/2011 21:32

It is the thought that counts is'nt it? and the childs smile and pleasure in making some sort of effort in the making of the card/present.
I can't see how putting money in a collection helps your child learn from the experience... teaching children to be thoughtful and think of others is big on my list.
I would never give in to the school gate pressure of having to contribute, but then I am stubborn and don't give a toss what someone like that thinks!

weevilswobble · 22/11/2011 21:36

I'm very generously giving them all a nice day off next week. On top of being nice and saying thank you when i get the chance. And i also very kindly do not clutter up their houses with 'teacher' presents.

mrz · 22/11/2011 21:36

As a teacher I hate the idea of collections ... sorry everyone but it's embarrassing I'd rather have a thank you without the cost

whoopeecushion · 22/11/2011 21:36

Nonno - I met the John Lewis kid - aged 4.

4yo to me: What is your favourite shop
Me (trying to think age appropriately): Well, I really like toys r us
4yo to me: do you not go to John Lewis
me: unable to speak due to the urge to PMSL.

soph252 · 23/11/2011 07:34

We always do a collection here for teachers and TA's. We can give any amount we wish, some people just give 50p each others a few pounds each and it is then spent on a couple of gifts and a voucher of a nice amount for the teacher to get something for themselves.

At the end of last year all of the children drew pics of themselves and wrote their name underneath and this was all scanned to make a lovely card. The only names that go in the card are those who contributed though, which I think is fair. Then there is the option of getting a separate gift instead or as well as this. I normally do both and my son writes a nice card - purely because we have felt so grateful for all that the teachers have done and think this is a nice moment to show this.

We normally have lots of tears & hugs from parents and teachers/ TAs at the end of year presentation. We have been very lucky with our teachers and TA's so far though and I think we have all wanted to show our appreciation. I think people should just do what feels right for them though.

BabyGiraffes · 23/11/2011 09:48

I've just been asked to contribute 10 pounds to a Christmas collection for two teachers and a TA (kind of 'shared' class and I don't even know one of the teachers) . I'm just thinking £10 adds up to an awful lot of vouchers... To be repeated at the end of the summer term. Not trying to be too cynical but I never had a job where I got a bonus of £200 a year just for doing my job.

Groovee · 23/11/2011 10:02

We do £3 in our class for the collection and the teacher just gets the present as our learning assistants aren't allocated to our class. But ds's class don't do a collection and get individual presents.

StaceymAloneForver · 23/11/2011 10:07

i've never known one of my kids teachers leave school at 3.15, thats quite laughable sue

and i contribute to a collection as i think they deserve a nice something rather than 20+ crap boxes of chocs/bottles of wine

but i like my kids teachers and appreciate them!

Haberdashery · 23/11/2011 11:25

We are doing a collection, which I am organising, because it is nice to show some appreciation and crucially because it is cheaper for those who cannot afford to contribute much or perhaps anything. I would not dream of ostracising anyone who doesn't have the money to contribute or would rather do their own thing. I imagine children will also be sending cards if they want to - I know my child is working on some appalling glitter-covered monstrosity which she adds to daily. We haven't asked for specific amounts, just whatever people would like to give. Some people have given a tenner, some a couple of quid. That's fine. It will still add up to a nice present for the teacher and the two TAs and will be from the whole class no matter who has contributed or not. We're getting vouchers - that way the staff can spend them on something that is actually useful to them or even their own Christmas shopping. The total amount will not be huge, because none of us have a lot of money to spare but hopefully it will be useful/nice for the recipients.

I'm genuinely shocked at the idea that people will somehow be 'blacklisted' for deciding not to take part. That's not the idea at all!

Chandon · 23/11/2011 11:42

etiquette is to contribute if you want.

Not if you don't.

I like it as I'm lazy.

I am also a bit mean (?), so for end of year I always write a heartfelt note or card to the teacher (especially for DS1 teacher, as DS1 has SEN and has lots of problems and a good teacher makes a big difference, so I always make a point of writing a genuine thank-you telling them how much of a difference their work has made), but don't do a present again, usually.

Original poster

suebfg · 23/11/2011 18:38

StaceymAloneForve - who said anything about 'crap'. If you read the thread, it was about giving something made by the child i.e. something genuinely heartfelt rather than being pressurised into giving cash which is very impersonal.

I do appreciate the teachers but I don't appreciate feeling pressurised by other pushy parents.

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NonnoMum · 23/11/2011 18:57

Woopee Really??? Really?

Is that true? I have to chase this up because he has made my DH crave another baby... as he thinks they are all that cute - all of the time.

DownbytheRiverside · 23/11/2011 19:24

Yay, a blame the pushy parents thread rather than the Have a Go at a Teacher shy.
OP, don't contribute if you don't want to, and ignore the po faces. The teacher will care more about the kind of parenting support you are giving your child over the year than whether she gets JL vouchers or a cheery smile instead.
Parent pressure. I hate it.

daisymaybe · 27/11/2011 20:18

Although a voucher is always lovely, a card made by your child that they've spent a bit of time over would probably make me cry, John Lewis advert style.

FaultyGoods · 28/11/2011 12:28

I'm a class rep and we are doing a collection for Christmas. We have also asked the children to write a personal message on a label to be stuck in a big card. There is no pressure on parents to contribute at all, and we've made that clear to everyone. Hopefully, people see it as a good way to give a personal message and something practical. I'd hate to think that I was being labelled a 'pushy parent' just for trying to organise something nice for Christmas.

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