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Primary education

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Original poster

How do I find out how my child is really doing at school?

29 replies

popgoestheweezel · 18/11/2011 14:33

I have lots of concerns about ds (5.8) and he has seen a pead and has now been referred on to CAMHS for further assessment.
However, when the paed asked how he was at school, and what they were doing to support him, I struggled to answer.
At parent's evening they just made a few woolly comments about there being 'nothing to worry about academically' but that he struggles to sit still and follow instructions and he has emotional outbursts and anger management issues but when we say 'Yes we are really worried about him. What can be done to support him?' they just say 'not much really'.
I want to ask them some specific and clear questions to get some specific, clear and measurable answers on how he is doing in all areas of learning, but what?

OP posts:
academyblues · 18/11/2011 14:41

I think I'd ask for a meeting with his teacher in the first instance and go with a specific list of questions. Maybe even give them to her/him in advance of the meeting?

NC/predicted NC levels will give you an idea about his academic progress.

Maybe start with the answers you want ie how much of the day is he unable to sit still and work out what questions you need to ask to get this information?

IndigoBell · 18/11/2011 14:49

It's really hard to find out how he's doing in school.

You can (and should) find out his NC levels - but he's only in Y1, and school doesn't have any academic concerns, so presumably (although not necessarily) they'll be fine.

A private EP can observe him in class. That might help.... But will cost a lot.

Best thing is for the school EP to assess him, but they're like gold dust. You should ask - but you're unlikely to get an assessment any time soon (ie before he starts throwing chairs or beating up other kids or in some other ways becomes 'of concern' to school :( )

If his teacher and SENCO think he's fine, then you're a bit stuffed until he gets a different teacher who sees the world differently.

Original poster
popgoestheweezel · 18/11/2011 18:49

They don't say he's fine, they say there are problems but say there's nothing much that can be done about them.
However another parent has told me that he is one of a group of five from his class having weekly sessions with the senco, but theyve not said anything about it to us despite many opportunities. I don't know how to interpret that.
My worry is that any needs he may have are not being met and also that even without any special needs he is not progressing as he should. This happened to dd in yr 1 and really dented her confidence. Ds is so lacking in self esteem I worry that itll be even worse if the same will happens to him.

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 18/11/2011 19:23

Don't ever believe anyone who says 'nothing much can be done'

Loads and loads can be done for kids who can't sit still or follow instructions.

However you're going to have to be proactive and work it all out yourself. You can do an awful lot more than school can.

For starters does he need a move n sit cushion, or fidget toys?

Does he need an assessment by a paed or an OT?
Does he need to sit next to the teacher?

Original poster
popgoestheweezel · 18/11/2011 22:32

He has had an appt with paed who has referred to camhs, but all that is going to take forever.
I think the main problem is that although there are issues at school he saves a lot of his feelings up to let out in the safety of home. Just because he has learned to suppress his hyper-anxious response at school does not mean he is actually feeling any less anxious, in fact probably he's feeling it even worse as pressure builds up and isn't released.
When I spoke to the school nurse a few weeks ago she offered to come in and talk to school if I felt they weren't taking our concerns seriously, I think I might take her up on that offer.
A friend of ds also has special needs (already having SALT) and his mum is very unhappy about how school have failed to respond to her concerns too. She has parent partnership accompanying her to a meeting with the senco on monday so I shall be interested to hear how that goes.
Indigo, you are right that loads and loads can be done. I have given the teachers a print out 'mind map' for PDA which has loads of ideas for better handling techniques but they have received them without any comment at all. I suggested a meeting to discuss the info once they had digested it but their response was that it 'wasn't necessary'.

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Wolfiefan · 18/11/2011 22:43

Very worrying. As a teacher I don't think you should ever say nothing can be done. They need to clearly outline what the issues are and what they propse to do about them. Does he need time out of lessons? Are tasks being broken down into small enough chunks for him to cope with? Are they using rewards and praise?

blackeyedsusan · 18/11/2011 22:43

indigo, what are fidget toys? (we definately need one for dd before she drives me insane during reading sessions.) she has one of the cushion thingies.

Original poster
popgoestheweezel · 18/11/2011 23:19

We sent a move'n'sit cushion in for him to use back in reception, I'm not sure that it was used more than a few times. The teacher seemed completely non-plussed at the idea. Even though she was complaining about his inability to sit still, she didn't seem interested in possible options to help him Hmm

Wolfiefan, the thing about PDA is that using rewards and praise is generally counterproductive and breaking tasks down makes them even more demanding of him! that's why it's so important to use PDA handling techniques which are pretty much the opposite to what you'd use for typical AS.

You are right though, they do need to clearly outline the issues at school, but my guess is that they don't want to because then they will be expected to DO something about it. Better for them to say 'there's not much you can do' and 'he'll grow out of it' and leave tackling the problem to a future teacher.

OP posts:
IndigoBell · 19/11/2011 09:52

BlackEyedSusan - Here are some fidget toys.

They're just things for the child to fiddle with when they're meant to be sitting still.

Otherwise a lump of bluetack works well. :)

Original poster
popgoestheweezel · 19/11/2011 13:13

When I suggested fidget toys to the teacher she just said that then all the children would want one and it would distract the other children.

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Wolfiefan · 19/11/2011 13:19

Surely the whole point is that it will stop his behaviour disrupting the children. Obviously he would need some guidance eg not to fling it round the class or wave it in the face of a neighbour. I taught one lad who couldn't sit to listen still unless he had a pad to doodle on. I bought one in and kept it with me. He wasn't allowed it when he was supposed to be writing but it really helped him focus.
Surely no other child would be desperate for blu tack??!!

mrz · 19/11/2011 14:24

Surely no other child would be desperate for blu tack??!! truthfully most primary classes would kill for blu tack

choccyp1g · 19/11/2011 15:49

For that matter, why can't they all have a bit of Blu-tack? Apart from the expense, and the mess in the carpet...
But I mean it seriously, surely many children would disrupt less if they had something harmless to fiddle with. Especially at carpet time.

Original poster
popgoestheweezel · 20/11/2011 14:26

The teacher's point I think is that the others would be interested in the fidget toy and so would the child that had it resulting in no one listening! Is that the usual result?
They were sceptical about the wobble cushion and the other children's reaction in reception but in the event they all just accepted that ds was sitting on it and they weren't- end of.

OP posts:
mrz · 20/11/2011 14:39

wobble cushions can work really well, blu tac less so has anyone suggested lap pads? www.sensorydirect.com/products/lap-pads-_-shoulder-wrap.asp there are lots of different types available that's just one example.
www.specialdirect.com/Range.aspx?rid=180&cid=28

MigratingCoconuts · 20/11/2011 16:01

Surely a fidget toy is worth trying for a short time. I would have thought that the novelty value would wear off.

If it doesn't then you can at least say it was tried. I've had kids use fidget toys (and blutac) at secondary and its really helped!

mrz · 20/11/2011 16:10

I'm a great believer in giving simple solutions a try they may work and if they don't nothing lost.

Original poster
popgoestheweezel · 20/11/2011 18:42

I agree, if things dont work then nothing is lost. Shame his teachers aren't interested in trying to help him sit still, just constantly observing that he can't do it! So constructive Hmm

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 20/11/2011 19:25

They'd kill for blu tack?
If a teacher can't make lessons more interesting that a lump of blue sticky stuff then perhaps they need more training! (And yes I am a teacher!)

MigratingCoconuts · 20/11/2011 19:30

couldn't you make it into a lesson??

I'm thinking maybe different shapes/ sinking quickly/slowly in water?

mrz · 20/11/2011 19:31

Who mentioned lessons Wolfiefan?

mrz · 20/11/2011 19:35

killing each other during my lessons is frowned upon Wink

mrz · 20/11/2011 19:40

MigratingCoconuts it's very good for science materials and forces Wink

MigratingCoconuts · 20/11/2011 19:45

can you tell I'm a science teacher Grin...

I'm guessing its a well known lesson idea for you.

Buts its what i'd use blutac for in a lesson other than displaying childrens' work

mrz · 20/11/2011 19:51

My class steal borrow the blutac from the back of displays [grr]