Discipline/Punishment Question.

[cloudpuff]

DD is in y2, she loves school, is hardworking and has a lot of respect for rules etc. She is no angel and has her moments but mostly is a very well behaved child. Over the last few weeks she has been working extra hard to try and win some award. I hope I'm not coming across as braggyish, if I am, thats not what I intend.

She came home from school earlier in the week upset as the whole class had to miss playtime as a couple children had been fighting. She wasn't distraught but she was struggling to understand why she had been punished when she'd done nothing wrong. Its not the first time this has happened but its usually very rare it does happen. Probably about three times between reception and y1.

Anyway she came home from school yesterday upset again as the same children had been fighting again and the whole class had to miss another playtime. She's now asking me what the point of being good is ,if they all get punished anyway and to be honest I see her point,although I've encouraged her to keep doing what she is doing. I think she's just a bit fed up. I know that the teachers need to discipline bad behaviour but I really dont see the point in the whole class having to be punished as well. I know the children concerned have also been given other forms of punishment so it makes the whole class punishment seem even more pointless.

How can I explain this to my Daughter when I can't make sense of it myself? Is this the norm in other schools? I am tempted to telephone the school but I'm such a wuss with things like this and would have no idea what to say anyway. Should I just leave it or should I have a word with her teacher, I really dont want to come across all pfb and pushy parenty.

Thanks for reading.

The only thing I can think of that would be reasonable to me is that there were more than a "couple" (in the strict sense) of children involved to the extent that it was a significant percentage of the class - at which point differentiating the "actively obviously fighting" from the "provoked the situation but didn't actually fight" from the "genuinely had nothing to do with it" became such a nightmare it turned into a whole class issue. I can kind of see it as a one off, but twice in a week would make me start to question things.

I should hasten to add that DD isn't in school yet and I've no experience of teaching so I may be completely off the mark.

Either way I'd be inclined to talk to the teacher. If it were me I'd play the "confused parent of confused child" card...

...I don't want to undermine the teacher's strategy but DD doesn't understand why she's loosing playtime and based on what DD has said I'm struggling to explain to her what has happened and why. I'm starting to wonder if she/I have misunderstood. Please can you fill me in a bit so I can talk it through with DD in a consistent way?...

Ultimately, you can't explain it to your DD if you don't understand yourself. So I'd give the teacher a chance to come up with a rational, reasonable explanation - as I understand it education is all about parents working in partnership with the school so they should be willing to fill you in. At least that way you should have a lot more information (and if it really is as your DD has described, backed up by what the teacher says, THEN I'd be thinking of escalating it within the school).

Yes, I would talk to the teacher and also play the confused parent...perhaps asking if it was your DD who had been naughty and if the answer is no, then perhaps ask what message it was sending out ? I have to say we had a similar incident at my DC school where 2 boys smashed up a locker in the morning so all our children had to stand outside the doors ( in the snow ) until 0855 when they were allowed in. I'm afraid most of us were so annoyed we started bringing our children in at 9.15 instead so it was soon scrapped. I would have thought making the 2 offenders stand outside on their own would have been more effective. I expect it was too negative.

When this happened to DD I challenged the teacher over the issue of whole class punishments-she admitted she was at the end of her tether and didn't know what to do with a very difficult group within the class. She agreed the whole class punishment had been a mistake as now rather than the whole class blaming the children who had been naughty the class all just thought she was an unfair teacher.

Agree with ask the teacher. Your dd may have got the wrong end of the stick, or there may have been a lot of egging on where it was hard to differentiate.

Thank you for the replies.

Tangle : Im 99 percent it was only the two children involved, I cant say how I know cos if any of the other mums is a mnetter I'll be outed. I agree as a one off I wouldn't be too bothered but twice in one week is a bit much. I know it happens with the older classes so maybe its an across the school policy. Your advice on what to say to the teacher is great and thats what I plan to do later today.

Violette : The two children concerned have recieved other punishment also which is why I find the whole class punishment a bit pointless. Like you say I'm not sure what message they are trying to send out.

Snice : Thanks. There are a few children in dds class who can be a handfull, maybe the teacher is having a bad week. I shall find out when I speak to her later today. Could i ask how you approached the teacher. I've never had to do this before do you think I should make an appointment or just pull her to one side? I'd hate to offend the teacher.

DeWe : Hopefully I'll find out more when I speak to the teacher. I have noticed its anti bullying week so maybe its a case of the school/teacher taking a tougher stance on fighting.

Will update when I have spoken to teacher, thanks again for the replies.