Spellings and number bonds- how to 'trick' child into learning them

[popgoestheweezel]

ds is in Yr1 and has spellings to learn and his number bonds to 10.
With dd I can just get her to write out her spellings a few times till she knows them but ds is a very different ball game!
He is undergoing assessment for pathological demand avoidance which means he finds following instructions extremely stressful so i can't just sit him down and say, 'write these down'- he just won't.
I manange to manipulate him into doing his homework without him realising most of the time but I'm finding spellings particularly challenging. I'm pretty sure he knows the ones he has at the moment, but can't move him to the next ones until I'm sure he does.
How can I 'trick' him into learning (and showing that he knows) these things?

How about trying different ways of writing them. In DD's reception class the playground is always covered with chalk spellings, I know they also get them to 'write' in shaving foam too and it's easy to clean up. Magnetic letters? Also, pretending you don't know how to spell things and asking him to help you might work?

I'm not sure if I'd bother. I'd say 'pick your battles', and learning a random list of spelling words would be very low down my list of battles.

Indigo, I love your posts- you always cut out the crap!
Yes, I have thought that myself, I just feel like I might be taking the easy way out if I don't bother and letting ds down a bit. I also know that school is going to get more demanding and if I don't get a grip on things now it'll be even harder later. Or maybe you're right, I should give myself a break for now and save my energies for later?
I have to be so imaginative and creative and enthusiastic all the bloody time in order to get him to do the most basic tasks, I have no energy left over for spellings.

we do spellings on the way to school. I ask dd3 them and she recites them. She really loves doing it though!

she is just too tired after school.

My DS's current favourite for number bonds is www.coolmath-games.com/0-number-twins/index.html. Also skittles can be fun for number bonds.

Pop - The reason it would be very low down on my list, is I don't believe learning spelling words for a spelling test is a good way to learn to spell.

School should be teaching spelling rules. He will still be participating in all the spelling lessons.

He should be able to learn to spell without you going through the torture of spelling lists.

Some people learn to spell through reading (if they have a good visual memory)
Some people learn to spell through phonics teaching
Some people learn to spell through structured spelling programs
Some people never learn to spell - and do perfectly OK in life

But I don't think anyone learnt to spell by learning 10 words a week..... There are just too many words in the English language for this to be an effective method.

We were told to use playing cards, numbers Ace to 10 and try to get the child to match 2 cards to make 10.

HARIBO.

If he can tell you how many he needs to add to make 10 he gets to eat them.

hi OP I sympathise totally - I have one DS (very young summer-born in Yr 2 so only just age 6) with 'an' issue (currently with community ped). But I think possibly PDA. Homework is the battle ground for me (as a newly separated mum).

Many evenings (like tonight) I just want to give up and let the school deal with DS and school work, but my big concern is that he will fall further and further behind. It would be easier for me emotionally not to bother but I definitely would feel guilty. I have tried really hard (for 2 years) to get a routine with homework with absolutely no luck at all. Like you I have be imaginative and enthusiastic but mostly highly manipulative to get DS to do the most basic tasks.

Spellings are hard for us as DS has only just really got all the letter recognition and still doesn't get some of the most basic words eg "the". So I take it easy - I have a whiteboard and magic marker so he writes the words out on that. Or I use a fun shaped blackboard and chalk. Then he copies them out painfully on to the homework sheet. We then talk about the words and try to find them in some of his books (that's me trying to give these words a purpose - ie if they are in a favourite book then they must be 'interesting' words). Finally we cover and he writes what he remembers. I have letter shape sweets which are fun occasionally to make up the words.

I try to keep DS up with the class flow so like you I am not always sure DS has really got the basics but he actually seems to find some of the harder words easier to spell if that makes sense.

I've used the chalkboard quite successfully when getting tea ready. So DS will be at the kitchen table and I am cooking so I ask him to write down an ingredient I've run out of but also any other word I think of (explained away by Mummy's bad memory). I sound the word out and let DS write it down. The action of being helpful overcomes much of his resistance.

IN the last couple of weeks DS has become fascinated obsessed by writing so I have bought him some new pens and a lovely journal and he is currently copying out pages from his favourite books. I'm not really quite sure why but if he is enjoying it then we'll carry on....

PDA is tricky.

I would tread carefully here. One way to do it is make it really easy. Start with spelling very easy words. If you are spelling the word:

Dog

You could write "Do_" and have him write the "g". Once he got that, you could write "D" and leave him to fill in the "og."

The trick with PDA is to take it so slowly that they don't notice they are having to do any work at all. You'll need lots of prompts and probably also use external reinforcement.

And on an unrelated note, PDA is a strange British idea. It isn't really a recognised syndrome in the DSM, which is the book psychologists and psychiatrists use to diagnose psychological conditions. If you do or don't get a PDA diagnosis, it will probably only have to do with the mood of your psychologist on that given day.

However, PDA is a useful framework for parents and teachers to understand that the child isn't being naughty or lazy. You may be able to get some good advice from parents who's children have ASD - they will be coping with similar challenges.

sing them in the car/ house to yourself so that he can overhear.

I skip, jump, bounce, gambol round the house with a friend's little girl. She asked me if I could take her on a Tuesday after school as she can't get back home in time. She then asked if I could go through the spellings with her. I use scrabble tiles, a book for her to write them in, then I skip round the house like a loony energetically, shouting out the letters. The child has gone from getting most of the answers wrong to getting them all right for the past 5 times. It's driving me nuts as I promised her a small gift if she got them all right...now she can't get any wrong!!!

I'm thinking of basketball bouncing or football kicking with a lad I support at work (I'm a TA). Just got to figure whether that'll float his boat or not.

I know it wouldn't work with everyone, but it's worth a go.

well I think in Y1 spellings is pretty low down on my list of prorities - some schools don't do them at all - and some schools don't do any homework at all in primary school (from what I have seen there is no strong evidence for it making a massive difference) - so I think pick your battles!

Spellings - in Yr1 we used magnetic letters on the fridge. I used to put all the letters for the word in a random order and DS1 had to unscramble them.

Number bonds to 10 - can you play a shopping game where everything costs 1p - 10p. He has 10p to spend, he has to spend all his money and he can only buy a maximum of two things.
e.g. Orange =10p so he can buy 1 orange for 10p and nothing else 10+0=10
Apples =8p and grapes = 2p so he can by 1apple and 1 grape 8+2=10

for the numbers how about that pairs memory game, but instead of turning over two 2s he has to turn over pairs adding to 10, or maybe play it with him?

Subliminal learning ?

Record spellings, times tables, numberbonds etc onto a CD - play quietly over and over again while he sleeps - after a few days he will know it all off by heart.

Print words and sums out quite big on lots of sheets of paper and stick them around for him to bump into (pillow, car seat, breakfast bowl etc)

Very confused: "Many evenings (like tonight) I just want to give up and let the school deal with DS and school work, but my big concern is that he will fall further and further behind. It would be easier for me emotionally not to bother but I definitely would feel guilty"

That's exactly how I feel too.

There are loads of good ideas here that would work like a dream with most kids but with ds they just take soooo much energy to manipulate him. Energy that I don't always have.

The jelly babies would probably work as long as we were prepared for the repercussions where he has to reassert his control when he knows he's been manipulated. The subliminal one is a good idea though! Perfect for PDA types!

Also, I do think that instructions to just 'learn number bonds to 10/spellings' is not really very helpful for parents. We are not teachers, we have not had the training therefore we don't know how to teach (even easy) children. If we wanted to do it ourselves we'd be home educating!

You could get some cuisenaire rods,; these are different lengths and colours for different numbers up to 10. but with a possible diagnosis of PDA, I'd not try to do anything formal with them, but just let him build models and patterns with them. He will be getting the feel of the different sizes or colours. You could work alongside him talking about your pattern/model eg "Hmm, I want to fill in this space here next to the purple 4 rod. I think two of the red 2 rods might fit exactly - what do you think?" etc.

I used to struggle, too. Then I realised the problem was I was trying to get my son to work on ALL the spelling words at once, in one concentrated session. He has 20 words each week (Y3, but was the same in Y2 and, I think, in Y1). Now I tell him, on the way to school, "You've got 20 words to learn this week so I'll ask you 4 each day and then you'll have two days to learn any you've got wrong" and then proceed to ask him just 4 words each day. He doesn't mind spelling 4 words while en route to school. I try to keep track of any difficult ones and sometimes ask them again (in addition to the 4) or just focus on those on the day before the test.