Tooting, Balham (Wandsworth) Prep Vs State (Primary 2012) - DILEMMA!!!

[SheRa1980]

Have 2 young boys and seen a few state and prep schools but having trouble deciding. When I say "having trouble", what I actually mean is i'm experiencing anxiety induced insomnia and haven't slept a peaceful 3hrs straight in 2 years! Just want to get it right - academically and socially!

May sound extreme but your help/advice/reviews/suggestions will not just be appreciated but are greatly required!

News of the state education system in the headlines again today and though I know it can and does work for many (did for DH and myself), I have this feeling that not being proactive about this would be the equivalent of gambling/experimenting with the boys' futures. DH (and I) run a youth group in South London and constantly see wasted potential, lack of ambition, drive often perpetuated by lack of engagement by teachers, lack of expectation from society and the resulting nonchalant attitude by young people that feeds a vicious cycle-

To the point, we are a young (ish) black-british family with 2 young boys seriously considering prep school. I've seen a thread on here from January that mentions some but there are others i've seen that i'd love your opinion on.

Anyone in the area that has a review to offer up would be great. We are on the (huge) waiting list for Hornsby House however I want to make sure that we have a balanced environment for the boys. We are not dripping in money and would rather avoid the added social pressures that come from being the "poorest kids in the school", or "the only non-white children". I also want to avoid them being 2 of 30 mainly non-white kids in a class, getting lost and overlooked. Statistics currently perpetuate that black boys are at the bottom of the academic achievement tables and i've heard horror stories where (underpaid/overworked/under-empowered) state school teachers latch onto this and stop trying with this particular group.

Based on this summary of my neurosis, does anyone have any recommendations? I start a new (full time) job in Jan in St. James's Park (going from Tooting Bec) and will be doing the school run.

Any experiences of advice on the following would be great:
-Bertrum House (Balham High Road)
-Eveline Day (just moved to Balham High Road, same owners as Seeley Hall)
-The Dolphin
-Rosemead (Dulwich)

and any others you've had poignant expereinces with - state or private.

Thanks in advance!

I've known families at The Dolphin and they have been very happy with it.

It is a very Christian school - would you be happy with that?

I had 2 at Eveline Day - a long time ago now. But the 8 years we had there were genuinely the happiest of my DCs' lives. The staff were incredibly nurturing, the small classes meant that the children got plenty of individual attention, and the children were all so close that my eldest thought they were all her cousins - unti lshe was 7! I can't recommend it highly enough.

I have a colleague with a child at the Dolphin now. He is now trying to take him out (on waiting list for Hornsby) because he feels there isn't a good social or racial mix. That's only hearsay, though - I don't know it myself.

Thank you.

Faith biais not a problem as DS's granparents are both Reverends, Grandad with an OBE for services to religion & the community :-O ! Church and the concepts wouldn't be alien to them...

TheReturn (or SmartArse for short :-D), I loved the idea of the small classes (between 13 - 19!) and will be meeting Eveline herself on Wednesday. I LOL'd about the cousin comment! May I ask how your DS faired post-EDS? What school did she go onto? Are you still in the area?

I don't want to give too much away but we are now a little further south. The only reason we left was money - DH had been made redundant twice in quick succession (10 years ago now) and I just couldn't deal with the worry about finding the school fees anymore. Having said that, mine are now both at independent schools again, one very selective, the other slightly less high performing (but only because she's rather quiet and lacking in confidence so we didn't think her elder sister's school would provide the right environment). DD1 was moved up a year when she moved on from the EDS, albeit only briefly - I had her moved back to her normal year again because emotionally and socially I didn't think she was ready for it.

I still see Eveline occasionally when I pass her house on the way home from work!

Oh wow.

Sounds like Eveline worked for you. Did you ever consider any state options or any others in the area?

Are you able to expand at all on the Dolphin concerns of your colleague?

Certainly looking forward to meeting Eveline anyway. I fear the hopes for Hornsby are futile for a while. I think we're 35th on the waiting list!!

We did eventually go state - as I say, for financial reasons. And I did look at other options (all the local state options, plus Bertram House, Hornsby House, Finton and the posh-one-with-the-fancy-hats on Nightingale Lane (forgotten the name!). The cosy atmosphere at EDS sold it for me, though.

I'm afraid I know very little about Dolphin, apart from a chat about a year ago with my colleague about it. He was applying to Hornsby for his DS, but is still waiting for a place and they are now looking further afield.

I should probably add that we'd already moved out of the area by then so the state schools my girls then attended were closer to home and probably not in your borough. One of them was fabulous, the other much less so!

SheRa, I feel your pain as we are currently looking at schools for next September! Unfortunately I think many of the private schools in that area (and I'm not far from you) have very little diversity so there would be a sea of white faces. Hornsby House is probably a bit more diverse than some but only slightly. I got the impression Dolphin might be a bit more diverse too based on a tour I did of the school but no other knowledge - the CofE ethos may also attract some families from the Baptist church. We were attracted to Finton as although it isn't ethnically very diverse it did seem reasonably down to earth, not snobby, and they take a special needs child in each class which adds diversity of one kind.
I have heard that Newton Prep welcomes a broad range of families from quite a wide area so might be worth a look - if the journey is workable for you. There is an entry test for it.

Thank you MG, I understand that diversity would be minimal and I'm happy
With that. By definition, as a minority group, integration is key and a "sea of White faces" is what I've experienced through university and my entire career so far.

Just don't want to subject them to pointless snobbery and/or racism for the he'll of it! My twin sister and I literally were the ONLY black faces for miles, for years and it took a long time to adjust. We'd lived in the area since we were 2 but once school started, things got rather vicious (certainly for 5 year olds anyway! And their parents!) The experience both toughened me (to rejection) and softened me (to take every person and situation on merit; did wonders for me socially in the end! :-D )

No mum wants to thrust their babies into heartache consciously though....

I will definitely take a look at Dolphin and won't hold my breath for Hornsby - try again at other entry points. Does anyone have any experience of Broomwood Hall or The White House?

Have you looked at Honeywell? I don't have up to date information but it used to have a good reputation. Worth looking at the Ofsted reports for the school.

Good luck.

If you live in Balham, you won't have a chance for either Honeywell or Bellevile at the standard entry points!

I don't know what the ethnic diversity if Dolphin us like, but it's such a prayerful place that I doubt it can be anything other than inclusive. IIRC, most of the parents are HTB types (HTB has an offshoot church in Battersea).

Thanks Edith & AllChildren, will take a look.

Reading my post back I wonder if I sound a little negative using the term racism. Guess I should mention that the school where my sister and I were bullied by parents as 5 year olds was a backward village in Kent. 26 years ago!

My hope is to grow boys who barely notice there own colour and while embracing their culture and background understand colour is ONLY skin deep. Friends will and have come from all walks and creeds! The fact that we live in and have been accepted by a "sea of white faces" is neither here nor there.

Any advice on breaking that down for a 2 & 3 yr old?
:-D

Those of you who do live (or have lived) in the area, what nurseries and/or pre- schools (state and private) have you had experience of?

Both my kids were at EDS; one still there & the other at a v selective state secondary. EDS is a fabulously nuturing school and if you work you will love the hours - open from 7.30 - 6.30 every day except Christmas. It is partly this (that the kids play so much together) and the small size and the staff that makes it so great. Downside of small is that they struggle to do sport well, but drama is a real strength. The school is not snobby at all - it mainly attracts working parents because of the hours and everyone is down to earth & supportive, the school is racially very mixed and the kids are totally colour blind.

Good point about the sport - I can't remember what they did about that, to be honest. The garden at Trinity Crescent was a good size and when they were small I don't think the lack of space mattered much. I remember very fondly the Sports Days at Tooting Bec Athletics Track - and the Sports Days for the little ones in the garden - lots of fun!

I will definitely ask about the sport
tomorrow. They have just moved to new premises....
Regarding the hours, are there after school activities from 1500?

In my day (!), they had something to eat, played outside, played games indoors and did any homework after school. They were free to do whatever they wanted really (though there were organised activities if they wanted to join in) - it was much like being at home, which was one of the things we liked so much about it.

Pretty straight forward with no chance of the kids feeling overwhelmed with such a long day at "school".

I've just driven past the new building-looks fab! I'll find out tomorrow what Inside and grounds look like....

Thanks again!

Rosemead would be a huge drive for you I'd have thought, even if you are that side of Balham.

Hmmm. Popped into Dolphin this morning and really liked the look of it. Will go back for a full open morning tomorrow.

The commute is such a huge factor to consider. My trip this morning was to see if I could drive and leave the car somewhere. No where I could see. Does anyone know where I might find out about people renting their drive, garage out? Or know of anywhere to park near Clapham Junction Stn?

Rosemead would also be quite nightmare-ish in that sense. Logistically, I think EDS is a front runner as I would need to be in St. James's Park for 0830. Hope I fall in love with it later! As DC's are very active boys, the sports thing would be a huge consideration. I did, however, notice that Dolphin and EDS where in the same leagues in some sports so assume that's a sign there isn't huge disparity....?

Don't be put off by positive or negative comments from other people, by the way. Everyone is different so every school suits different people and there are always going to be advantages and disadvantages to each one. Gut feel is really important, so if you go into the school and immediately feel it has the right vibe and is the right environment for your boys, then trust your instincts! Good luck and do keep us updated.

Out of interest, what are you planning to do with regards before/after school/holiday care if you're working in St James's Park? Just being nosey, really!

EDS have built in wrap around. 0730-1830 with brekkie club and after school clubs/activities. I'd be able to do both drop off and pick up (which I'd prefer) and have DH (works odd and unpredictable hours) and a mothers' help for if I'm unable or away....
As you can tell, it all seems more seamless with EDS as the school part of the equation. In fact DS2 could potentiay start at the same time as they have nursery classes too. Dolphin don't so it would be 2 separate schools....

SheRa, Have you checked out Hill House? I'm an Indian and my DS joined HH this year. They have a good mix of kids and my ds loves it. Drop-off should be okay, but you will need to think about after-school and holiday care ...

Thank you Injunmum.

~Haven't been to HH yet but seen EDS now. Loved it. They've just move to a new building, I met Eveline herself and the envionment seemed very nurturng. Biggest class was 15 (2 teachers) a smallest 8. The new grounds are great (though quaint) with a story telling throne, a secret garden, a football/netball pitch and general play area.

~Dolphn next,St. Anslems too.....

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