Anyone else STRESSED about choosing a primary school?

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

State/private
Small/large
Good ks1 but dont like early years
Love early years not sure about KS2
Village school or the school just outside village

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

He is so happy at private pre prep but we can't afford it unless I work Full time and have no holidays and will be very hard up as we have a 2nd DS. Am I being selfish in taking him out and going state and saving funds until secondary??

but if you want to save to send to private secondary, then your argument about not knowing anyone (from using the smaller primary - sounds fantastic btw, wish I had that choice!) when going on to secondary falls down does it not? Besides, I went to a diff secondary to most of my primary frineds, well 3 of us went but none of us were in the same form and besides, we made new friends naturally anyway! Would you send them to a secondary purely because all their peers were going?

My DCs are at the local state, which sounds pretty similar to your local school. I have friends with children in smaller school and others in private schools.

It does depend on your child, but going to a slightly larger school does have advantages, particularly as thet get older. DS1 is in Year 3, and loves the afterschool activities, and has mixed well in a class with 30 children. He has built up a good network of local friends, playdates are a doddle, and there is always a parent who can do an emergency pickup for me if necessary. My school run takes me 2 minutes.

I was chatting to a good friend whose son is at a private school. Her school run takes half an hour each way, and many friends are 30 mins in the other direction, so playdates are tricky.

Our local primary education is fine - my concerns lie with the future of secondary schooling in this area and we're saving our pennies for a maybe private education then. Having just walked home through past a full on street fight between about 15 pupils from our local secondary to be this is high up in my thoughts tonight.

Luckily, DS1 was so busy running about with the group of local mates he's made that we walk to school with every day he didn't notice a thing. [happy]

I meant

Totally agree with everything queenofflamingeverything said. And I'm a teacher! (Secondary)

trying, I would go for the closest good school, and save for your money for secondary or if he was genuinely struggling for whatever reason, in the state system. You mention that if he goes to the tiny school, he would be unlikely to be with children he knows for secondary school - but you also mention private for secondary school, so he could just as likely not be with people he knows regardless of which state school you go for! And as the tiny school does not have many extra curricular activities going on, you would probably supplement it with a few of your own - meaning he would meet other kids in the area from different schools who would be going to the same secondary school. I don't think you should worry about this too much tbh.

Re: the outdoor thing (or anything else for that matter) - make sure you ask what plans they have for the future. For example, DS has just started (state) primary school and 2 months in they have built an outdoor classroom, which I had no idea was going to happen!

We probably could afford private right now, if we had to. But we decided that all that money could be spent on other things to further their education that we could do, as a family. As well as supplement any gaps if necessary. Not to mention putting aside for uni tuition fees!! I'll worry about secondary school closer to the time. Also, you will feel so much better once you have actually made a decision.

Ok back from tour number 2 of the tiny school. Decided this is what I can gleamed from my visits:

Tiny School:
Max 21 per class
Mixed R/1 with full time TA , then Y2/Y3 with part time TA then Y4,5,6 with part time TA
Infants swim every day in the summer
Very strict school, staff very old school
Beautiful location
Children come from a wide geography
No before school club
Some after school clubs from Y2 onwards in spring/summer terms
Whole school sleep over in tents once a year.
Outstanding ofsted in 2008, but new head since and only 1 remaining teacher from the inspection.
Children go on to wide range of secondary schools about 1/3 to independants

Last year 1 sibling didn't get a place dispite school only having 21 in infant classes.......family had to take children to a new school and were very cross. Seems as an aided school they have some flexability with admissions so this seems very harsh.

Local school
Class sizes vary as popularity has grown as school has improved
Lovely staff and head
Very mixed catchment
Behaviour of older children seemed very good, younger children less so
Reception class seemed poorly resourced (osfted grade 3)
Excellent KS2 results (best in county Grade 1 ofsted)
Curriculum seemed exciting
Lots of after school clubs
Before school club
Strong links to community
Head sends his children to school
Support staff were lovely but (snob alert!) spoke to the children with interesting English!

WDYT??

Thank you for this thread. I have to choose between two schools (well three, but the third is not an option!)

school 1/ school 2

small/ large

seemed more caring/ seemed more academic

mixed classes/ two classes per year

had a bad reputation but much improved/ very good reputation

liked the head/ wasn't so keen on the head

near to home/ 20 minute walk

worried about enough potential friends/ plenty of children to make friends from

not quite so good area/ very big catchment

less money/ bags of money for extra stuff

mixed nursery and reception (don't like)/ two reception classes

I think I like school 1 more, which is closer, but school 2 seems like it will have more about it and more potential.

How the hell do the Infant children swim every day?! (I'm a reception teacher), I don't understand that one. When do they do everything else? Not a very relevant reaction, but that's my first one!

I like the sound of the 2nd one - it really really depends on the COMMENTS from Ofsted. Our 2nd choice school for DD1 has a grade 3 in EYs, but said the staff were all very caring etc etc and children were happy and confident. As a teacher, I know that you can be ignoring latest stupid government initiativenot following the curriculum/guidelines to the letter, but still be providing a very good education and standard of care to the children you teach. Also, what lots of others have said about providing excellent support at home makes all the difference is true! We really wanted our children to have experience of mixing with as many different people as possible, and ahve the opportunity of making friends where we live. I am currently sticking my fingers in my ears and lalalalalaing about secondary school.

Hannah31 he swims every week in Nursery now!
Swimming is in the late spring, then summer terms. Its the fact they do things like that, that makes me like it! The head is a bit dull though and its all very 'nice' its a very traditional 'private old school' type ethos kind of way.

The bigger school Early years will be a bit dull for him (He has been out in the woods at pre prep nursery cutting down trees this week!) It just didn't excite me walking in......

I guess you can't have it all (unless we pay and even then there will be things we don't like) but I worry about getting off to a good start.

I really don't know what to do! Ahhhhh!

My daugther went to the local nursery because it had a good ofsted report. I opted to send her private because I was unable to get her into my school of choice and was given one of the worst schools possible instead. Even when I rejected that awful school they then sent me options for other schools with vacancies which were just as bad. I agree that if a child is going to learn they will do it regardless of what school you send them to, but I believe that the school has to be a good school to begin with. Also, my daughters school is outstanding for pastoral care and the relationship that the children have with each other and with the teachers. There are only 80 children in the school so the classes are small and they progress so fast. Education is so important in this day and age that I would not accept the lesser option if i can go for the better,

I've left the primary stage now and can look back on it with a certain amount of objectivity. The single most important factor is the Head. So, if you've found a good school, double check the Head isn't contemplating moving on in the next year or so. Second most important is the relationships the children build amongst themselves, this is where the local-ness factor comes in. It is a massive pain in the arse driving halfway across the county to pick them up after a playdate.
Having said all that, if it feels right when you visit, it probably is right. And your hard earned money will be more useful to them at secondary level. Even if you go state all the way through, the cost of the extras like trips and music lessons seems to double once they turn eleven. I reorganised my life for primary so that I could be around for PTA and other semi-daytime stuff, I'm really glad I did so. Best of luck.

I think a small village school sounds great !
I did my teacher training in a small, three form, village school (C of E BTW)
Having worked as a teacher I'd say small classes can make a big difference to everything else !
Swimming everyday and camping together once a year sounds fun too !

Reading your pros and cons list, the only thing that sounds nicer to me is the beautiful location. I would also be worried that there is only 1 member of staff there from 3 years ago. As regards to outside play your child will get out far more if walking or scooting to and from school, plus more likely to play outside after school as will know local children to go to the park with etc.

I personally would always go for a local school unless it was really dire and yours sounds great!

One little thing is that with such a tiny school it only takes one or two changes of staff to mean there is only one teacher left from when OFSTED visited.

If the staff has changed to that extent in the small school, I think you can almost discount the Ofsted.

When you say the catchment is "mixed", do you feel it is truely mixed? Are there parents you know already, or parents you feel you could fit in with. I think that is actually quite relevant, at least from your point of view.

Our school has a mixed catchment, and some children have a scarily good knowledge of slang and worse, but there are also some very affluent families, and most (from across the whole class) support the children well. As a result, the children all thrive and do well. It sounds as though school 2 may be similar.

Advantage to a local school - I have just dropped mine off at before school clubs, and returned home to find my cup of tea is still hot!

OP would all the lovely outdoor and forest time actually continue further up the school your DC are currently at? You may find they would not get that once the Early Years are over anyway, unless it is a very alternative school - and if it is a pre school I would imagine the focus becomes more academic as they get older.

Other than that, I agree with hackmum and others. Primary is really about social skills IMO, although of course they also need to learn to read and write and basic maths skills, you can support those at home. Far better a child has local friends and parents with time for them than an expensive education, certainly when they are very young.

Where we live (overseas) there is no choice of school (unless you go private, which in our area anyway is not common unless you want an alternative approach like Montessori or a Forest School). I love that dd has so many friends within walking distance, she is never short of a playmate - I know people in the UK who drive their kids to "the best" school half an hour away, as a result of which they almost never have friends from school over to play, which does seem ever so sad... As a child my parents moved us into a new area when I was 7 and promptly sent us to an out of area primary and then private secondary as they were "better" than the local ones, and I did get sad about the fact I had no school friends to "call for" and didn't really know the local kids, who all went to the village school.

sorry I meant if it is a pre prep school

I am with you tryingtobeMaryPoppins2! I am not overly stressed but am concerned and taking it all very seriously! I have done 6 primary school visits, 7 if you count one I went to twice. One private all the others state (well one is c of e). Most are in or have been in special measures. Several have a change in head or will be or the head has just come back from long-term sick.

So I compiled a spreadsheet to try and score. It has categories like academia, environment, community, resources/facilities, building, management and oversight, things the school does over and above and extra-curricular, overall impression and each section is score in importance then each of the 10 or so questions under each subject have been scored in order of importance for what my little one needs!

Goodness knows what I'll do when it comes to senior schools!

I have a fair idea what we will put as first choice but places are so over subscribed i have to choose the three very carefully.

I agree with 5moreminutes that it is mainly about developing social skills but I believe they do need encouraging in their interests and to learn within school. If they are not challenged (in a positive way) then they will become lazy to learn and won't do so well in senior school. Equally if the class is too disruptive and they can't learn or aren't noticed then it wouldn't be so good.

So I guess my spreadsheet could be condensed to will they learn something new on a daily basis, will they make friends, will they be safe, will they enjoy going there? In which case I think I can't go too wrong and needn't get too panicked.

All the best.

i'm in exactly the same position. ds is perfectly happy in a private school nursery but it'll be a huge sacrifice to send all our kids there but we have been through our finances and know it is possible. i just keep thinking what we will miss out on as a family if we do send them there.

we have a lovely outstanding tiny village school he could get a place at but there are a lot of kids who have registered their interest already.
there is a really good primary down the road too which would also provide a lot of opportunities. we live in a good area and have several good schools he could get a place at.

but i'm convinced i will have a nervous breakdown over the whole thing by christmas. only 5 months till we find out the results of our applications!

we're going to sit down with pen and paper and write out all the pros and cons in a few weeks, apply then let fate decide for us.

naturalbaby - registering interest with a primary school is meaningless. You can only get a reception place by meeting the published admissions criteria, which are usually adminstered by the LEA, and applying during the official applications period.

Provided you apply within the application period then the date on which your application is made is utterly irrelevant.

Naturalbaby - the only practical benefit of registering an interest is that the school will send you an application form (or direct you to online one) once it is time to apply. It doesn't give you priority at that school at all. In that it is different from private schools.

We looked at where we wanted them to tend up and picked private primary that was best for getting into that school eg Habs juinors, North London C juniors because they lead into the seniors and those seniors aer in the top 10 in the country usually of all types of school. The theory was that they might find it easier to get in at 5 or 7 than at 11 and that worked. Very pleased.

Depends where you live and what you want and a state school woudl not really haev been an option anyway as I never went to one and I wanted very academically selective single sex education from age 5 and very high standard of music and sport etc

The academic private day schools wll take you whether you register 5 years in advance or one year (perhaps with a few exceptions in central London ) and whether you are white red or blue and very fair and very blind to what the parents are like.

im stressed too!! DD1 is at a catholic primary school out of catchment and its looking like dd2 will not get in next year as we are out of catchment!!! 2 kids, 2 schools - Nightmare :( - i've submitted my forms - but please do make sure you check whether your schools prioritise siblings if applicable as most catholic schools dont

sorry wrong thread!