One in private, one in state- would you?

[Lily15]

Hi I know there have been a few threads about this but as each one is different I was hoping to get some perspective on my own situation.

We live overseas but are set to return to the UK due to hubby's work. Our son is 7.5 and dyslexic. He has been in a very small international school for the last 2 years and is doing very well.I am worried that a mid year upheaval to a UK state school with 30-35 in a class will throw him somewhat. We are looking at Brighton-Eastbourne and there are some fanstastic state schools- but big classes are unavoidable- and thats even if we could get him into a school of our choice.

We could afford to send our son to a private school-there is a great one in Eastbourne we have our eyes on- but our daughter starts school fulltime in September too and we cant stretch to both.
Is it fair to send him him to a private school but not her? Will she resent us for it later? HELP!

Forgot to add we have a second daughter who is 6 months. x

the senior doesn't have quite the same reputation for helping children with special needs. And we moved away from the area! I don't know where we would have sent him for senior actually.

He did like it, and he was very happy there, my reservation is that they didn't push him at all academically - he is very able but won't push himself (like alot of boys), and they just let him coast. But he definitely got calmer and less stressed there than he was previously.

ds 1 got a very generous bursery for a selective private school, it's unlikely that my younger son would get in, although we will put him in for the exam should he want to go, I'm thinking of it in the same way as if one had passed the 11+ and the other didn't.

I wouldn't do it. A recipe for causing resentment in future.

This is an interesting thread. We are applying for a private secondary for our DS1 who is dyslexic for the same reasons as the OP. We have 2 younger DSs and an elder DD who is at Uni having been through state education.

We are well off in terms of the general population (household income of about 70k) but to privately educate 3 DC without massive sacrifice I think we would need a three figure income.

We are still going to send DS if he is offered a place and I am looking to increase my income to pay for this. We are hoping that in the 3 years before DS2 starts secondary DH will be able to increase his earnings too. We have a years fees saved but that is it.

It is a bit of a gamble and I have a back up plan for DS2 to sit the 11+ as he is very academically able compared to DS1. If he got a place at one of 2 sought after state grammars I think their education will be reasonably comparable. As DS3 is 6 years younger than DS1 hopefully we would be in the position to do either for him (he is in reception so no real idea of his ability as yet).

It's a difficult call as you do have to hope that when older your DC understand the reasons for your choices and are not resentful. I never imagined we would be in this position as DD went through the state system (different catchment area) without a hitch and we never considered private at all. Things change though.

Good luck.