has anyone had a bad experience with their child at school?

[violet79]

and if so how did they deal with it? e.g. whereby their child's school has let their child and/or their child's health down.

Yes. DS coming out of school demoralised and very sad. Extremely poor communication resulting in not knowing about a concert, a dress up day and DS vomitting.

I asked for a meeting.
Told the teacher about my DS.
Asked why I hadn't been told about illness/ explained I had not received school communications.
Stated what I wanted to know and proposed better communication methods.
Arranged a follow up meeting at the end of the month.

The result has been amazing.

My advice would be to approach the teacher directly and tell her what you expect. Frame it well. A criticism sandwich works best.

i am due in the school for talks on monday...these tips will help loads. i hope i get the same result :)

Violet you had nearly 700 posts worth of advice yesterday the thread had to be deleted because people couldn't get through. Are you really going to start it again??

What feenie said. There seems little point in giving good advice as you choose to listen to it.

choose NOT to rather...

What did happen to the thread yesterday? why was it deleted?

Because it became a bit of a bunfight. Can't imagine how.

Was that because of me referencing a previous troll different lilac-coloured flower?

If the other thread was genuine the OP clearly can't remember the Head's suggestion that she remove her children from the school.

Violet, I think you need to go in for your meeting on Monday and make the following points:

• apologise for your reactions last week, stating that you were concerned about your son and not thinking straight
• explain that you are having some problems with stress and anxiety at the moment, but that you don't want these to impact negatively on your children
• emphasise that you do want to keep your kids at this school and that you are therefore keen to work with the school to ensure that your son's needs are met
• acknowledge that you contributed to the situation last week by failing to check your son's book bag and by failing to give him a drink in the morning, and commit to ensuring that you don't make the same mistakes again
• explain your concern at the fact that the school apparently took your son on this trip without your consent, and ask for their perspective on this
• explain your concern at the fact that your son didn't have his water bottle with him, and tell the HT what your son told you about not being allowed any water while on the trip, and ask what the teacher's perspective is on this
• explain to the school about your son's dehydration issues, giving details of any medical diagnosis that might be relevant
• ask the HT what measures she thinks you and the school can put in place to improve communication and to avoid a repeat of this sort of incident in the future.

Good luck! :)

Step by step what Honey said.

Her advice is a perfect balance of sharing responsibility between yourself and the school without letting them off the hook.

If you can pull this off in a way that they feel is sincere they won't have an option: they will have to look into how your son's needs are met at school.

I have had serious problems with the way my dd's former school dealt with her disability and I always felt when it worked best was when I very organised and able to keep my cool and meet them halfway.

And yes, for us communications had broken down to a point where the Head suggested that perhaps I would be better off taking dd elsewhere. We realised it was a choice between taking her out or keeping communication lines open. Which meant making some concessions, or at least listening to the other side, whilst staying very firm on the things that could not be conceded.

Great advice above.

I would like to add that, although I know you are feeling victimised, Violet 9and I am sorry for that) I don't think many posters on either this or the other thread disagree that the school has done some things wrong. However, in general, the best way to resolve these things is to do as Cory says and meet them halfway in a reasonable way.

What you failed to do in the the other thread - and the reason why it all got a bit heated - is accept any responsibility yourself. I think doing so would go a long way to making sure that your meeting with the Head is calm and reasonable.

Good luck.