Ever get the feeling your child is 'overlooked' at school?

[passthechocolates]

My DS is in Yr1, he is a very laid back child, and although I am happy he is progressing at school, I just have a feeling he is not reall enjoying it and thriving like he should be.
Every Friday is an acievement assembly, they hand loads of different awards out each week for everything from being kind and helpful at lunch to certificates for reaching so many house points.

I have been to a few of these now, and it seems to be the same kids who get the certificates, cups and awards. This week one child got 3 different awards!
I am just worried that because he is an average kid, he is getting overlooked, and just blends into the back ground so to speak.
There is a parents evening next week, so I will mention it, but don't want to sound like a pushy over the top parent!
Does this sound similar to anyone or am I just paranoid!

Ds (yr 3) is similar. He got an award once, for a painting in yr 2. The same dcs get things all the time. Sometimes he gets fed up with it but I always tell him I'm proud when he tries his best. He isn't inspired by school so I doubt he will ever get another award (unless they give out more painting ones). He excels at things which aren't school activities so I don't worry about his self esteem.

No harm mentioning it to the teacher though (I haven't bothered).

Yes, my older child is overlooked. She is bloody brilliant at everything, never has a word said against her in reports or parents evening, is in top set where they set, was at level 5 in all subjects at the end of year 4. But she is overlooked because she is in a satisfactory school that is trying to become good, so all the schools efforts are concentrated on average and below average performers.

As a teacher I'm very aware that some children are easily overlooked (some even want to be "invisible") so I do make a concious effort to focus on every child every week if not every day.
Many years ago told me to sit down at the end of the day and write down the names of the children in the class from memory ... harder than it sounds but remember I've got 30 on my mind not just one ... and the one or two you are struggling to get right away are the ones you focus on first the next day.

Nope because i was and i will not allow it to happen to my boy.

When he gets awards, whcih isnt often, we both go, and we make a humongous fuss over him to boost his little self asteem as he has NO confidence at all.

I see the teacher regulalry, about once a term thats all, to check in with him, any areas we could help ds, etc.

I was not able to reach my full potential due to being overlooked and fading into the background. Now at 41 i am bittelry disapointed at this, as i could have done anything i wanted to do, had i been pushed, noticed and encouraged. This will not happen for my boy.

Thanks MollieO, my DS is so laid back bless him, he told me he finds assembly boring! in reception he fell asleep one week... that did not go down too well.

I just feel I ned to stick up for him, as it seems the bright kids get the attention, so do the naughty kids, and then there is my DS!

I am interested Mrz - as a teacher can you tell me the most tactful way of mentioning this to his teacher on parents evening, it's easy to sound like your just moaning!

I think you need to be honest and say you are concerned he is happy to stay in the background and is perhaps too quiet and can they suggest anything ... asking for help always comes across better IMHO

Thanks, sound good will give that a go. I don't envy a teachers job, it must be hard to meet 30 childrens needs week in week out. Obviously I am only concerned about one, and I owe it to him to get the best I can for him.

He definatley comes under the banner of wanting to be invisible, he would sit there dayreaming all day if he could get away with it

But I wouldn't assume just because he doesn't receive awards in assembly that he is being overlooked.

If he is progressing academically then presumably he is getting enough attention in class.

And if he doesnt really enjoy school, that could be down to a hundred reasons, a lot of them to do with his peers, rather than him being overlooked.

My kids care far more about their friends then about attention from the teacher. If they're unhappy it is always because they've had a fight with their best friend.